Working the Booth at ARF's Conference in NYC

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Originally uploaded by The Advertising Research Foundation

Make no mistake: Working exhibit hall floors at conferences is mentally and physically demanding. Every visitor demands personal attention, and being bombarded by unscrupulous salespeople makes visitors naturally reticent to engage in conversations.

I use expansive hand gestures, a wide smile, and small talk to engage a visitor, and gradually go into a soft sales approach. Only after I know the visitor's name, their company and some of their unique business challenges do I pose my organization as a potential solution.

The Next Brilliant Marketing Idea: Official Dirt

While on a recent Southwest flight, I set down my latest read (The Coldest War, by David Halberstam) in favor of Southwest's entertaining in-flight magazine. In an article about St. Patrick's Day I read about a new product available for Irish people who miss the Old Country: Official Irish Dirt.


You can check out their web site at http://www.officialirishdirt.com/, and there for $20 purchase four small bags of official Irish dirt, shamrock seeds, and get free shipping.

The concept of Official Irish Dirt got me thinking about other official dirt-selling opportunities, which I have listed below:

• Official West Bank Dirt: For the Palestinian in All of Us


• Official Afghanistan Dirt: When You Miss Your Taliban Roots


• Official Iraq Dirt: Nothing grows in it, but under it you may find WMD


• Official D.C. Dirt: (So many directions to take with this one--it's just too easy)


• Official New Orleans Dirt: Comes with official sea water, so you can submerge it


• Official French Dirt: Start Your Own Vineyard


• Official Ukraine Dirt: Invade it, Rebuild It, Contaminate It


• Official Green Bay Dirt: Maybe Brett Favre Will Come Back, After All


• Official North Korea Dirt: No Matter What You Do, Nothing Grows in It


• Official German Dirt: Deutschland, Deutschland uber Alles in der Welt
• Official Saudi Arabia Dirt: Dig Deeply Enough and You May Strike Oil

In so many ways, official Dirt is a brilliant product for the sole reason that even as our attachments to each other become more electronic, we remain nostalgic for physical places--to have a sense of place. With Official Dirt we can take that place with us wherever we go.

I think I am going to buy some DC Dirt right now: Maybe I can get some from near the Mayflower Hotel and see what pops up.

While Other Local Airports Thrive, High on a Hilltop, Worcester's Airport Remains Disused

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal featured an article in the Personal Journal section about the potential success rural regional airports can have in relieving congestion at larger airports closer to urban areas.

Referring to the notion that "the idea has worked elsewhere," the article mentioned airports around Boston as examples of this success. Providence and Manchester are the prime examples, along with "fledgling development" at Worcester, Mass., and former military bases in Portsmouth, N.H., and Bedford, Mass.

I'm assuming here that the "fledgling development" at ORH refers to the $15.7 million white elephant of a terminal, $1.4 million invested to expand the airport access road (which as all locals know is just a shortcut to avoid Webster Square and get to Paxton), and $12 million to enhance operational reliability including a Surface Movement Control Guidance System (SMCGS).

Propaganda from the Worcester city "machine" about ORH says there is "strong commitment from local, state and federal officials to ensure the airport's future viability" but beyond the aforementioned efforts I have uncovered no concrete manifestations of that commitment.

Rather, there are the high-profile "committees" comprised of local functionaries, the cash-cow feasibility studies that go to local firms, and the back-and-forth recriminations that mark business as usual in Worcester.

So I wrote a letter to the editor of the Journal to help clarify why ORH remains disused--and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future.

* * *

Dear Editor,

Regarding Scott McCartney's article in which he highlights the growth of Stewart and similar airports located near highly congested urban areas, the airport in Worcester, Massachusetts was once positioned as "Logan East." However, beset by internecine local politics and notoriously bad weather, there is currently no scheduled airline service to Worcester.

I assume Mr. McCartney's "fledgling development" refers to the $15.7 million terminal and the more than $12 million invested in operational reliability enhancements, including a Surface Movement Control Guidance System (SMCGS).

What exactly the SMCGS is controlling and guiding is to be determined: ORH hasn't had commercial service since August 2006, when Allegiant Air cut ties with the airport, citing high fuel costs and passenger loads in the 75% range. ORH was last year snubbed by low-cost carrier Skybus Airlines, which opted instead to serve Chicopee's Westover Metropolitan Airport.

Compounding ORH's inconvience is the lack of a direct connection to an interstate highway (potential passengers must travel at least five miles on winding surface streets to reach the airport).

While more than six million potential passengers live within a 50-mile radius of ORH, the airport's marble floors and plate glass windows have made ORH a dusty, disused, out-of-the-way example of why some rural airports cannot attract the passengers and commercial airlines so vital to alleviating air traffic problems across the U.S.

You'd Think Worcester Would Make It More Affordable to Drink...

But, alas, no. In yet another sign that Worcester's elected representatives are utterly misguided and out of touch with those whom they purport to serve, we have this nugget from a recent edition of the Worcester Business Journal:

The Business of Booze: Worcester's Liquor License Fee Increases 38 Percent

Written by the clever and indefatigable Matt Brown (who manages to come up with pretty interesting stories in this desultory town), the article discusses how Worcester's license commission almost a year bumped up the annual liquor license cost from $2,000 to $2,750.

The increase is squeezing the purveyors of a substance that makes tolerable the fact that one is consigned to live in Worcester--that is, drink enough and you'll forget you're here.

The justification for the increase is laughable if you aren't familiar with the irrepressible attitude of Kevin O'Sullivan, chairman of the commission. I've met Kevin several times and he by God is a believer in Worcester. He's highly energetic, incredibly well connected, and believes strongly in Worcester's prominence as New England's second largest city.

His reasoning is that as New England's second largest city, Worcester should have liquor license fees similar to comparable cities like Boston, Hartford, and Providence. (Aside: I've been to Providence and I work near Hartford. The former is sufficiently attractive so as not to induce residents to want to drink themselves into a stupor to forget where they are; the latter closes down at 5:30 so there's no opportunity to do so.)

Quoted in the article, O'Sullivan says, "... I think Worcester has proven to be business-friendly." Let's review:

• Mass pike pass through Worcester? REJECTED
• Municipal government structure design? UNWIELDY
• Municipal services? REDUCED
• Main Street? HIDEOUSLY UNATTRACTIVE
• Opportunities for newcomers? MINIMAL

If the failure of well-intentioned initiatives to attract, bring and retain businesses Worcester (see "Destination Worcester", "Choose Worcester", etc.) is any indication, Worcester has proven repeatedly that it is NOT business friendly.

With respect to Mr. O'Sullivan, applying perfume to excrement makes the latter temporarily smell nicer. You look at it, it's still shit. Civic pride and blowsy rhetoric aside, the fact is Worcester has a long way to go before it can be considered either within or without the Commonwealth as "business-friendly."

Until Worcester has the kind of services that define world-class cities (like Providence and Boston), it's unfair to charge world class city license fees to hard-working restaurant owners. The increase represents precisely the kind of backward thinking that has relegated Worcester to joke status.

Now where's my drink?

From the Halls of Montezuma (NOT) to the Shores of Berkeley...

There are times, my friends, when the political pendulum swings so far in one direction as to render moderate citizens (like me) shaking their heads at the sheer lunacy of one side. In this case, I vent my ire at the Liberal left, as not surprisingly represented by the fine citizens of Berkeley, California.

Even as the father of a Marine is about to secure the Republican Presidential nomination, even as our Marines battle in Baghdad, assault in Afghanistan, and project our country's might and right throughout the world, these brave warriors are spurned in Berkeley.

Last week the Berkeley City Council approved a measure urging the Marine recruiters to leave their downtown office. "If recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome intruders," the measure declares.

It goes on to say the council applauds residents and organizations who "volunteer to impede, passively or actively, by nonviolent means, the work of any military recruiting office located in the City of Berkeley."

Berkeley's declaration, which was introduced by the city's Peace and Justice Commission, accuses the United States of having a history of "launching illegal, immoral and unprovoked wars of aggression and the Bush administration launched the most recent of those wars in Iraq and is threatening the possibility of war in Iran."

Reached for comment, Marine spokeswoman Gunnery Sgt. Pauline Franklin blithely said "there is no plan for that office to move." Marines very rarely cede territory once they've gained it; and they certainly don't leave any of their comrades behind.

"The Marine Corps is here to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, which does guarantee the freedom of speech," Franklin said. "In terms of the situation in Berkeley, the City Council and the protesters are exercising their right to do so."

Which the Marines--and the Army, Navy, and Air Force--are defending. Berkeley citizens: Where's your gratitude?

Fortunately, the Federal government has noticed Berkeley's stance. Several moderate Republicans introduced the Semper Fi Act of 2008. The Act would rescind more than $2 million of funds for Berkeley and transfer it to the Marine Corps.

Whether your representative is a Republican or a Democrat, this is one Act you should encourage him or her to support.

Hired Pens: In the Web 2.0 World, The Pen Truly is Mightier!

One of my New Year's resolutions was to spend less time blogging and more time in personal and professional development. In the past six weeks I've done a lot of both and in the process picked up a lot of interesting tips. One such tip is indicated in the discussion stream below, which I've conducted with my friend Pete Caputa who writes a blog called PC4Media.

After he ran in his blog a piece I wrote (http://www.pc4media.net/Blog/bid/3630/Marketing-the-Environment), we began a fascinating discussion on blogging and communications in our Web 2.0 world.

Pete writes: One particular challenge that I foresee happening is... I'm signing on all of these companies to start blogging. The reasons they're starting to blog include:
1) to improve their rankings in the search engines since more content = more chances to be found; and
2) engage their customers and their prospects in a conversation... which gets more prospects to convert into "signups" or "leads" sooner and gets your clients to "sell you for you".

However, I think I'm going to need to come up with a "package" for the business owners that need help writing or totally need to outsource it. I'm going to need someone like you that can understand their business, write and engage. I will have 200+ customers by end of 2008. This could be a full time freelance opportunity. I could see it morphing into more of a project manager that manages writers and maybe even other hands on services. Any interest?

My response below is, I believe, a relevant and timely commentary on what business owners need to consider when blogging. It also fleshes out an idea I've been considering for a while: "Writers for Hire" (or, "The Hired Pens")... Like hired guns, and just as effective and powerful.

My thoughts on your proposal follow: There are A LOT of blogs out there, and many (in fact, most) are poorly written, rambling, off subject and add little (if any) value that relates back to the product, service, or business someone is trying to promote.

After all, it's challenging to compose relevant, compelling content on a regular basis--after a few dismal attempts most business owners move on to something else. It's not that they don't have the desire; they don't have the time or the discipline to devote to a labor-intensive product like a blog.

The key is to help your clients understand how a blog (or a podcast, RSS feed, widget, etc.) should and must be integrated within a broader marketing and communications plan. For example, if they have a product in R&D or coming to market, they'll want to use the blog to build interest in and excitement about the product or service. They'll want to create a dialogue with consumers in which consumers can share their thoughts about the product or service.

When it comes to blogging in our Web 2.0 world, it's all about the 5 C's: Collaboration, Content, Converged services, Community, and Conversation. Your job is not only to help business owners understand the important of blogging, but also to invest the necessary resources (time and money) to creating a well-written, interactive online dialogue through their blog.

This is where talented communicators like me enter the equation: You need to have a posse of writers who know how to interview and, more importantly, write for the web. You need your posse of writers to establish relationships with the business owners so the latter truly trust that the former will convey their thoughts clearly, effectively and accurately.

Each has to have a level of trust and comfort with the other--a mutually beneficial relationship that is built over time--which you would facilitate and monitor at first, and then gradually let go of. At first you (or someone you know and trust) will have to carefully and frequently monitor the blog posts and client satisfaction.

As for morphing into other services, I see that as the next step in the process of building relationships with your clients. First it's the blog, and once your clients start realizing value (CTR, interactivity, dialogue--however you measure it, you're going to have to demonstrate value before you propose a next step) from the blog (and the great writing they're getting) you can propose other services like enewsletters, print/online brochures, feature articles, PR, etc.

There is certainly a need for good writing on the web and a definite lack of good writers. I'd be happy to discuss this with you further, I believe you could benefit from someone with my experience and expertise, and I am intrigued by your idea.

"Resolution Month" at the Gym: This Year, Try Sticking With It!

I admit to being a fitness elitist.

With 16 marathons under my feet, three Chesapeake Bay Bridge swims, countless additional road races, triathlons, adventure races and innumerable hours spent in gyms throughout the world, my fitness portfolio is filled with accomplishments.

While fitness is for me a year-round pursuit, every January I generally stay away from the gym. Because January, as anyone who spends any time at a gym knows, is "Resolution Month."

During "Resolution Month," people who haven't been inside a gym for months--if not years--resolve to shed the excess pounds accumulated over months and years of indolence; they strive to regain the level of fitness they had in their 20s or 30s.

Filled with admirable intentions and ambitious (if unrealistic) goals, for three to four weeks they infest the gym.

"Regulars" recognize these newcomers by their trendy new fitness clothes, their sleek Nalgene water bottles, their new iPods, their 'hit-it-hard' approach to weightlifting and cardio, and their often dangerous techniques. When we see the newcomers, regulars exchange knowing glances: We know it's January and we know that come February the infestation will subside.

I admire people who resolve to do the extremely hard work of losing weight and getting in shape. I always say it's harder to get in shape than it is to stay in shape, so when I go to the gym in January (which as I mentioned is not often), I compliment the newcomers.

I encourage them to stick with it, to persist, to persevere, so that next January they too will recognize the newcomers; so that next January they'll realize where they were this January and be justifiably proud in their accomplishments.