Customer Service: Some Days You're the Pigeon; Some Days You're the Statue

Yesterday we discussed integrity, which I believe to be one of the most important characteristics in any relationship, be it business or personal. Today I want to talk briefly about customer service.

To me, the two are inextricably linked. After you read this blog entry, you'll see why.

I conduct many transactions online, frequently doing business with unseen people on eBay and through my pal William Shatner at Priceline. Almost every single transaction I have conducted with sellers and buyers on eBay has been flawless (with the exception of the unscrupulous and often hilariously transparent scams); every time I have conducted business with Priceline (usually via the man-magnet "name your own price" function) the website has delivered on its promises.

eBay and Priceline make it clear and easy for their customers to follow through on their unique brand promises. They've staked out virtually unassailable market positions and defend their positions not through traditional advertising but rather through the immensely powerful tool of "word of mouth" marketing. Every chance I get, I laud eBay and Priceline for their ease of use, their depth of service, and their follow through.

That's customer service in the Internet age. Tell us what you're going to give us, make it convenient for us to get it, and then--if we really need help--make it easy for us to access customer service. Every once in a while--not every day, please God--send us informative and interesting notices about what's new on your site or in your business. Smooth out the path for your customers and let'em run. Put out some signs to keep'em headed in the right direction.

Of course, on the other hand (the "Some Days You're the Statue" part of the title, above), you've got businesses like Jiffy Lube, where I went today for an oil change. Jiffy Lube has also carved out a highly profitable niche in the oil change and car care market. They charge a premium for fast, convenient, consistent and predictable service, and most people appreciate it. I know I do; having changed my oil myself a few times, I happily (and cleanly) pay more for Jiffy Lube's fast, efficient service.

But here's what I don't like about Jiffy Lube: The knowledge most Americans have about their cars boils down to "insert key in ignition and turn" and "fill with gas when necessary." To their credit--and profit--Jiffy Lube has conditioned us to "every 3,000 miles just bring it in to Jiffy Lube."

The fact is, most cars today don't need to have their oil changed every 3,000 miles. With normal use, most new cars don't need an oil change until 10,000 miles or beyond! When you do bring your car into Jiffy Lube--lured, perhaps, by the $5 discount coupon you received in the mail (or found online)--you get what Jiffy Lube has promised. So far, so good.

You also get up-selled. There you are, in the waiting room, and a uniformed manager sticks his (or her) head from inside the service bay and calls your name. You dutifully follow him into the service bay to arrive before a computer that displays your car's entire service record--whether or not you have ever been to that Jiffy Lube branch (that is only if you have taken your car to any other Jiffy Lube). There you are, fully clothed, your car is digitally exposed.

The manager proceeds to tell you about your oil change, recommending a higher quality oil--"because winter's coming and the oil in your car will work harder... Less viscosity, you know." OK, at an extra $5 that sounds reasonable. Then he shows you your car's air filter, casually flicking a finger over the dirt lodged therein and saying, "We recommend you change your air filter; it'll improve your gas mileage and engine performance." That's another $19.99. Then he says, well, you're due for a change of wiper blades: Another $15, should you say to yourself that winter's coming and you really do need to see out that windshield.

Then he hits you with the fuel injection cleaning, the air conditioning ("also puts out heat, and winter's coming"), et cetera, et cetera ad nauseum. Abracadabra alakazam! What was going to be a $30.00 oil change has suddenly turned into a $100 repair job.

Since you know very little about your car, you trust the Jiffy Lube professionals to help you: Why, if they recommend it, my car must need it. And I need my car, so I better take care of it. I'm here, after all, so let me just get it done and not worry about it later.

Knowing this psychological dance, you can bet good money that Jiffy Lube's senior managers strongly encourage their branch managers to push these ancillary--often unnecessary (at the time)--services. I'd like to see their demographic studies: Ladies, you'll forgive me here for generalizing, but you are sure to be a "goose that laid a golden egg" at your local Jiffy Lube. It's good marketing and great salesmanship. But it's somehow... duplicitous.

After all, do you really need what they say you need? Is your car really going to stop running without that fuel injection cleaning system overhaul? And couldn't you just go down the street to Advance Auto Parts and buy that air filter (still easy to install in most cars) and those wiper blades (again, a five-minute installation)?

There are those who will argue that Jiffy Lube provides an indispensable service to our harried, auto-ignorant society. I understand their perspective. What bugs me about Jiffy Lube is that I don't think they really care about my car and how things are working under the hood... They just care about my wallet and how they can get at what's inside. And that, to me, is false customer service.

Integrity: The Key Ingredient in Mutually Beneficial Business Relationships

I recently had a conference call with some clients from out of state. I know these clients personally first, and then professionally; so we initially spent some time catching up on personal issues. After our discussion had run through the obligatory: Sports, mutual friends, vacation plans, we then moved on to more personal matters. (For men there are varying degrees of personal matters: Those you share with acquaintances, those you share with colleagues, and those you share with true friends).

I asked one of my clients--an entrepreneur for whom I sometimes craft articles and promotional materials--how things were going with his business. He's carved out a rather unique niche in his business: He identifies ways companies can reduce what they spend on various services (utilities, phone, printers, etc.) and earns a percentage of the ensuing savings for his shrewd analysis.

A typical entrepreneur, my friend is big picture all the way: He thinks big, plans big, and rarely sees the details. He's a great salesman and has over the past few years, based on the growth of his business, surrounded himself with people who can help him continue that growth in a planned, strategic fashion.

Recently, one of the people he hired did not deliver. Without getting into specifics, because this guy failed to produce a business development plan, my friend lost a connection to a venture capitalist who was interested in taking a seven-figure stake in the growth of his business.

Which brings me to today's topic: Integrity.

Wikipedia has an interesting commentary on the topic, suggesting that we can identify the value and importance of integrity by comparing two scenarios: On the one hand, a world of honesty and sincerity, of being able to rely on what others say. A world in which people are punctual and willingly fulfill their obligations and duties in life and to the best of their ability. This would be a world without lying, cheating, stealing, fraud, criminality, etc. Clearly, an ideal world.

On the other hand, imagine a world in which everybody is dishonest most of the time: Nobody tells the truth if it is not in their best interest, everybody is out to get everything they can, any way they can, including by lying and not keeping agreements and contracts. People shirk duties, obligations, and only when forced pay debts. When the opportunity presents itself, people will commit fraud and steal.

Our second imagined world is going to be full of rules and laws, long contracts, lawsuits, police, judges, and punishments to control non-integral behavior. One of the main purposes of law is to enforce integrity when the people have none. In a society rife with laws, as ours is, do we in fact lack integrity?

There are tremendous costs associated with a society that lacks integrity: The wasted time, energy and money of big groups of lawmakers and law enforcers; courts and millions of lawsuits; walls, fences, locks and bars on homes and businesses; verification, security guards, alarm systems and agencies, internet mal-ware (virus, spyware, spam, etc.) protection--to cite a few. Sound familiar? We could well be discussing our so-called "modern" society.

On the personal level, a lack of integrity is detrimental to one's personal power in life, to the respect of and relationships with others; above all, a lack of integrity destroys one's self-respect and self-esteem --qualities absolutely essential for personal happiness.

Wikipedia suggests that there are two ways to accumulate great power and wealth in life: One is by the path of love and integrity, creating great Good for others (good products and services). The other is by the path of Anti-Love and No-Integrity... Lying, cheating, stealing, criminality.

The difference between the two is happiness. The cost of the path of No-Integrity is without exception personal unhappiness.

Without getting into details, the guy whom my friend hired was paid to do a job. Not only did he not do the job for which he was paid, but he also callously disregarded my friend's business goals--the very goals he was paid to advance. That demonstrates a lack of integrity.

My friend is upset about the loss of the business, yes; but I sensed he was more upset that the guy whom he hired abused his trust and took his money. That's the unkindest cut of all: When our trust is shattered.

In our business relationships, and more importantly in our personal relationships, our word is our bond. If you commit to doing something, do it. If you make a promise, you follow through. You don't accept payment for services you don't provide. You don't overcharge. You don't lie. You lead a life--personal and professional--of integrity.

You may not make a fortune leading such a life, but you can honestly say to yourself and to others that you have integrity.