Scribbles from The Hired Pen

Delta, Delta, Delta Needs Some Helpa, Helpa, Helpa: Code Share w/ Saudi Arabia Airlines is Indefensible

2011-06-24T08:22:00.004-04:00

Delta Air Lines recently announced that Jews and Israelis (or passengers carrying any non-Islamic article of faith) will not be able to fly code-share flights from the U.S. to Saudi Arabia under the airline's new partnership with Saudi Arabian Airlines that is set to begin in 2012.

The bone-headed move is generating a firestorm of negative PR for Delta (which will probably force the airline to rescind the policy) and a stream of correspondence to the U.S. State Department from concerned citizens--regardless of religious affiliation.

I am opposed to the U.S. entering an "open skies" agreement with Saudi Arabia so long as that government maintains its policy of not allowing entry into Saudi Arabia of any American citizen who is either:
1) of the Jewish faith; or
2) has an Israeli exit or entrance stamp in his/her passport.
Saudi Arabia currently maintains both of these patently discriminatory prohibitions.

If Saudi Arabia or some other country had a visa policy that prohibited the entry of, say, Black American citizens, the State Department would never countenance entering a "open skies" agreement with a country that maintained such a patently discriminatory policy. Indeed, I would think the U.S. Government would not even allow the airline of that country to operate at all the United States, much less to do so with all the advantages of a "open skies" agreement.

Perhaps certain people in the U.S. State Department who administer such affairs believe that Jewish American citizens can be treated differently and that discrimination against them by a country like Saudi Arabia is acceptable merely because it is part of the Saudi "visa policy."

The U.S. State Department must act immediately to insist that Saudi Arabia abandon its two discriminatory prohibitions as a condition of enjoying all the advantages of a "open skies" agreement with the U.S. Now that the dispute has become public, it is up to Secretary Hillary Clinton to take the lead on pressuring Saudi Arabia to reverse these offensive discriminatory prohibitions.

In a statement to Religion News Service on Thursday (June 23), Delta said it "does not discriminate, nor do we condone discrimination against any protected class of passenger in regards to age, race, nationality, religion, or gender."

Cowering behind the statement that it is adhering to the visa policies of Saudi Arabia, Delta's stance is hypocritical, feckless and indefensible. With the airline now publicly accused of implementing a "no-Jew fly policy", it's only a matter of time until the U.S. public forces the airline to do what the U.S. State Department should have done as soon as it learned of the proposed Sky Team Alliance agreement.

Why Big Oil Will ALWAYS Lose the High Profits-High Gas Prices PR Battle

2011-04-28T13:50:00.004-04:00

Pity poor Exxon, "demonized" in the media for earning a record of almost $11 billion in profits in the first quarter of 2011.

Pity Ken Cohen, Exxon's embattled Vice President of of Public and Government Affairs, whose pugnacious response sought to decouple Exxon's profit from increasing gas prices at the pump.

Pity them, because no matter how logical, reasonable or well-parsed Cohen's statement was, the American public will always equate rising fuel prices with higher profits for Big Oil.

From a public relations perspective, it's easy to understand why Cohen sought to explain how the two issues (Big Oil profits and high gas prices) are separate: By providing a coherent, rational explanation, he wanted to get ahead of the story.

The problem for Cohen--indeed, Big Oil overall--is that when gas hits $4 or $5 a gallon, the American public isn't coherent or rational. It's angry. And trying to defuse raw anger with rational thought is like trying to douse a fire with... gasoline. It makes it worse.

And this, friends, is precisely what Cohen's statement has done.

Here's what he said in the lengthy statement sent to reporters: "We understand that it's simply too irresistable for many politicians in times of high oil prices and high earnings-they feel they have to demonize our industry."

He lashed out at the task force recently created by the Obama administration to crack down on speculation in the oil market, adding the fact that federal and state taxes make up 40 to 60 cents of the price for a gallon of gas, versus the 7 cents per gallon that Exxon Mobil earns.

He further argued that most of Exxon's profit comes from its overseas operations, and that earnings in its refining business, which converts crude into oil and diesel, make up only 6% of its earnings.

What did the public hear? "We made $11 billion in profit this past quarter, and as gas prices continue to increase, we're going to make even more money next quarter."

Better he had endured the momentary media excoriation, saying nothing until tomorrow, when the media's (and the American public's) attention will be focused on the Royal Wedding.

Attention! A Brief Post About a Little Blue Pill

2011-03-27T17:58:00.004-04:00

Today in history marked a momentous step in male-female relations: In 1998, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved use of the little blue pill Viagra. As we all know by now, "Vitamin V" is a oral medication that treats impotence. Viagra took sex in a completely new... direction (I'll spare you the obvious applicable rhyming word for 'direction').

Anyway, Sildenafil (Viagra's chemical name) was originally synthesized and studied to treat high blood pressure. This little fact makes me wonder about the testing protocols scientists applied to the development of Sildenafil: I'd like to know exactly how chemists at Pfizer discovered that while Viagra had little effect on high blood pressure, it could induce penile erections.

Seeing the economic opportunity in the effect of Viagra, Pfizer elected (again dispensing with the obvious rhyme) to market the drug for impotence. Sildenafil was patented in 1996, and just two years later the FDA approved it for use in treating "erectile dysfunction," a fancy new clinical name for impotence.

The "little blue pill that could" was immediately successful: It flew off the shelves into the medicine cabinets of middle-aged men and of course the scripts of late night comics.

In just its first year, the $8-$10 pills yielded about a billion dollars in sales. Even the distinguished almost-octogenarian Senator Bob Dole marketed Viagra on TV, confessing to ED (one imagines, much to the chagrin of his long-suffering but suddenly happy spouse). This kind of direct-to-consumer marketing was new to the prescription drug industry and changed forever the sales and marketing of pharmaceuticals: Today, sales and marketing account for approximately 30% of the pharmaceutical industry's costs, in some cases more than research and development.

Viagra's success stimulated (come on, there's no other word for it) a wave of competitors (and equally embarrassing commercials for) Cialis (tadalafil) and Levitra (vardenafil).

As with many drugs, Viagra's long-term effects on men's health remain unclear ironically, Viagra warns those who suffer from heart trouble), but its popularity is unabated: The latest data says that more than 20 million Americans have tried it, a number which will no doubt get bigger (it's just too easy) as the baby boomer population ages... and they want to relive the Summer of Love (again and again and again).

Cheers, Little Blue Pill.

The Definitive Post on Social Media: My Two Cents

2011-03-24T14:15:00.004-04:00

Any conversation about marketing and communications strategy these days involves social media. This is as it should be; social media is an important component of any marketing (big M) and communications (capital C) strategy. In this blog post you'll discover why I (and many savvy marcomm pros) believe social media is way overhyped and overrated.

When you've finished reading this post, please add your comment.

This blog entry is inspired by a truly insightful article at TECHi.

To be done engagingly, effectively, and consistently, social media marketing must be a full-time job. Small business owners can't do it full time; they haven't the resources. The best they can do is hire someone, generally a self-described "Social Media Expert", who claims to know how to establish a small business' social media footprint but doesn't take the time to know the business. PR Agencies and Ad Agencies are falling over themselves to hire "social media managers", usually fresh-out-of-college graduates who've never planned or managed a comprehensive marketing communications strategy.

What small business owners need to do is FIRST, carefully consider their target audiences and available resources and SECOND, determine the social media platforms that give your business the most visibility. Don't rush to be on Facebook if you're not updating your status daily. Don't fly to Twitter if you're not Tweeting several times a day. Don't be on YouTube if you've got no compelling videos. Don't be on LinkedIn if you're not answering questions, participating in discussions, or completing your profile. Not all platforms are relevant or appropriate for every business.

Choose wisely, because if you seek to be everywhere in social media you'll get nowhere.

One social media approach doesn't fit all, and if some self-proclaimed expert suggests you need to be everywhere, she or he has just indicated to you their fundamental misunderstanding of the marketing and communications purpose of social media. It's one component of a carefully considered and thoughtfully implemented marketing and communications strategy: Not a panacea.

Small business owners, marketers, social media experts: What do you think?

When Product Recalls Go Too Far... Or, "It's Someone Else's Fault I'm an Idiot"

2010-09-21T10:25:00.007-04:00

I'm a big fan of the Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC). Its laudable charge: To protect the public from unreasonable risks of serious injury or death from thousands of types of consumer products. At any one time, the CPSC's website posts bulletins of thousands of product recalls--product defects that can (and often do) injure or kill unsuspecting consumers.

The CPSC's work to ensure the safety of consumer products - such as toys, cribs, power tools, cigarette lighters, and household chemicals - contributed significantly to the 30% decline in the rate of deaths and injuries associated with consumer products over the past 30 years.

Many of the product recall notifications get posted by companies with integrity (hard to believe in the face of such overwhelming evidence of avarice that such a characteristic still exists in corporate America).

I'll admit to trolling the product recall notifications to catch a company's poor product engineering, or worse, gross negligence. But today I came across a product recall that were the threat not so serious would have caused me to guffaw.

Here's the headline of the notification, friends: The Gerson Company Recalls Glass Vases Due to Laceration Hazard

As it turns out, unbelievably, the glass vases can shatter on impact, potentially causing lacerations to unsuspecting consumers who ostensibly try to clean up the shards. The recalled vases, MADE IN CHINA (another shocker) are made of clear glass and stand about 4" wide x 20" tall.

Imported by the Gerson Company, of Olathe, Kansas, the vases were sold for about $15 at Michael's stores in the U.S. and Canada from July 2006 through March 2010. Thus far, the Gerson Company has received nine reports of the vase shattering, including nine reports of lacerations to the hands.

The remedy suggested by the company and the CPSC: "Consumers should stop using the recalled vase and discard them immediately."

So let me get this straight: Glass vase shatters on impact with hard object (presumably the floor or ground). Consumer tries to pick up glass shards. Hands get lacerated. Consumer calls company to complain. Company urges consumers to discard the vase immediately (presumably in the trash, where it can shatter and likely lead to further lacerations).

It seems to me that consumers bear some responsibility for getting their hands lacerated when they pick up shattered glass. Or have we reached the laughable point in our society at which someone other than us is culpable for any misfortune that befalls us?

Egregious, Unforgivable Typos Drive Me Crazy

2010-09-14T13:45:00.008-04:00

OK, so I haven't blogged since June. It's not like I have legions of followers eagerly awaiting whatever words I convey through the blogosphere. I mean, there are enough blogoprophets already. If you're seeking something profound, read the Bible. Or Mad magazine.

And now, to my irregularly scheduled blog entry.

Today's topic: Egregious typos.

All these social media outlets have allowed "Everyman" to vomit more writing into the world--most of it worthless unreadable crap that punishes the eyes as it confuses the mind. Making matters worse, along with proper grammar, many of these would-be Heming(no)ways have wantonly disobeyed the sacrosanct rules of proper spelling: Your has become UR, night nite, tomorrow tmrw; the list goes on.

I've made my peace with the execrable spelling that emanates, like a putrid mist, from social media. But when I see a typo in a press release from a reputable organization, it really steams my windows.

Today's disappointment comes from Consumer Reports, which posted at PR Newswire this winner.

If you didn't jump at the click, you missed the use of the word 'waiver' when clearly 'waver' is the right word. But I won't throw the writer under the bus; instead, let's aim for the editors who missed this misuse: That is, the editors at Consumer Reports and the editors at PR Newswire. Shame on you all.

Editorial Decisions at Facebook Reek of Censorship

2010-06-25T14:42:00.004-04:00

Today I had a confrontation with Facebook. The confrontation was based on a post I listed regarding the recall by Kellogg Co. of 28 million boxes of their sugar cereals (here's a link to the article in the Wall Street Journal).

Facebook's actions regarding my posts on this legitimate news story--one which certainly could affect the millions of people who enjoy sugar cereals produced by Kellogg Co.--smack of the worst kind of censorship. You'll read the postings below and decide for yourself, but as a marketer with some experience in the opaque relationships between social media companies and companies trying to sell products (like Kellogg Co.), Facebook's arbitrary and capricious squelching of the facts should alarm all of us who use the platform.

Here's my first post, made at 2:23 PM today:
Kellogg Co. today recalled about 28 million boxes of cereal largely marketed to children out of concern that unpleasant smells and flavors emanating from the boxes' plastic packaging could be causing nausea and diarrhea. Hmmm. Maybe it's all those processed foods in the box that's contributing to the nausea?!

The post lasted about 13 minutes on the news feed, when suddenly it disappeared.

Noticing that my original post has mysteriously disappeared, at 2:38 I posted this:
Conspiracy theory o' the day: Bruce posts on FB a true (but disparaging) comment about Kellogg Co.'s recall of 28 million boxes of sugar-infused cereal. Post is on FB for ten minutes. Post mysteriously disappears from News Feed but remains on Bruce's profile. Question: What is FB's relationship with Kellogg Co.?

Apparently my first post alerted the Facebook Censors, because my second post only lasted less than four minutes on the news feed.

I figured Facebook might want to see the actual source of this information, the venerable Wall Street Journal, so at 2:41 I posted the following:
Dear FB editors: Here's the link to the article about the Kellogg Co.'s recall. Please explain why you are selectively removing my factual posts. What you're doing is censorship, pure and simple. I'm sure Mr. Zuckerberg would have something to say about that.

My friends, like the USSR's Izvestia or Pravda, like the Dear Leader in North Korea, or like any of the other powerful regimes (legislative or commercial) that have throughout history sought with varying degrees of success to suppress the truth, it's painfully apparent that Facebook only wants you to see content that it deems appropriate.

Simple Public Relations Advice You Can Easily Implement in Crisis Situations

2009-12-29T14:32:00.019-05:00

In the past three months we have witnessed two massive, highly visible and uncomfortably humiliating public relations blunders: The first one, most obvious and exhaustingly covered by the media, involves Championship-Golfer-Professional-Philanderer Tiger Woods; the second, less obvious but significantly more alarming, involves the flip-flopping by Janet Napolitano on the effectiveness of our nation's airline security measures. While the former is entertaining in a lascivious manner, the latter is life threatening.

Both issues underscore the importance of having a clear and universally understood (at least within the organization) PR plan in place to deal with any crisis. Such a plan is based, simply, on telling the truth early and often.

As these two events have ruthlessly revealed, it's absolutely essential for highly visible public personalities to employ smart, experienced, and professional public relations experts and to let them work. The results of not doing so are embarrassingly public.

Let's address Tiger's situation first. We all know how this tragi-comedy has evolved. But let's go back to the uncertainty surrounding the confusing moments when this story broke. If Tiger himself had simply released a statement to the media (NOT via his website, but through a publicist) that he and Elin had had a domestic dispute and, in his haste to leave the house for "some air", he accidentally backed his Escalade into a tree, the entire story would most likely have had a sympathetic angle for Tiger. We all know how stressful the holidays can be; after all, hasn't each of us fought with family before, during or after Thanksgiving?

A strong, honest and direct statement immediately after the event would have placed Tiger and his team ahead of the story. Once the 24-7-365 media got the smell of blood in the water, the sharks began to tear apart the story and we all know the carnage that ensued. Still, one wonders what the outcome might have been had Tiger and his team told a simple, honest story with which the American public can identify. That would have at least established some sympathy for Tiger.

Before we examine in some depth Janet Napolitano's "the-system-worked-the-system-failed" flip-flopping, let's look at one of the consequences of her confusing media statements. Initially, President Obama (as is his modus operandi) allowed Napolitano to be the administration's lead spokesperson on the terrorist incident aboard Northwest Airlines Flight 253. That is, until Napolitano's statements revealed a inexcusable lack of clarity and reflected poorly on the administration's anti-terror stance--especially at a time of year when airline passenger traffic is especially high. Napolitano's confusing public statements (she obviously was not well coached on the appropriate messaging for this situation) forced President Obama to intercede.

Janet Napolitano made her boss look bad. As a PR pro, my job is to make my boss look good. I get him fully briefed and properly coached. I make sure he knows the facts and delivers them calmly. If "mistakes are made", I own them. Not my boss.

While President Obama didn't publicly rebuke Napolitano (as Chris Good clearly explains in his blog at The Atlantic, privately you can bet that he strongly encouraged her to henceforth leave the public statements to him. Need proof? What have you heard from her since the President's very strong and compelling statement a few days ago?

In contrast to Janet Napolitano's confusing statements about which aspect of the system did or did not work, the Obama White House has been aggressive in its press outreach regarding the Northwest Airlines terrorist incident.

The American public doesn't understand that one part of TSA's security measures worked and one didn't. You needn't be a PR pro to understand that the American public doesn't tolerate that kind of wordsmithing. As a PR pro, though, I know the news media doesn't have the time or patience to explain it. All the flying public knows is that a terrorist almost blew up a plane; it was only because the device failed that the plane and its passengers landed safely. A savvy PR professional would have understood that and coached Janet Napolitano on the appropriate media messaging to reassure our flying public.

Skilled Public Relations professionals understand that the best stance to take with the media and our news-saturated citizenry is to tell the truth, tell it early, and tell it often.

Holiday Card Glitterati

2009-12-10T11:41:00.007-05:00

As marketers, we know that multiple touches on potential and current customers can both build and strengthen the relationships we have with our customers. Around this time of year, one of those touches is the ubiquitous holiday card.

While many organizations are in light of the current economic downturn opting to send e-cards, my feeling is that these are too fleetingly read and too easily deleted. Far more lasting, durable, and meaningful are the traditional holiday cards-which should in all cases be personalized with a short, appropriate message inside.

In our digital age, a personalized, hand-signed card really resonates. Which is why this year I find myself covered in glitter.

This year, the administrative assistant for the Bernard M. Gordon-MIT Engineering Leadership Program bought about 100 glitter-covered cards: From glitterized snowman cards to glitter-encrusted sleighs to glitter-adorned menorahs (glitter is, apparently, appropriate for all religions), I have personalized them all. (In truth, I think she bought the sparkly cards to spite me, but I can't prove it.)

At one point in this morning's marathon glitterfest, I had to scratch an itch on my nose. Then I had to rub my eye. Then I sneezed, scattering the glitter across my desk and body. I am, in a word, awash in glitter. I am as glittery as a schoolgirl, as sparkly as a showman. If it were pitch-black outside, I could serve as a reflecting badge, I'm so glittery. I mean, I could audition for the Rockettes with as much glitter I am currently wearing. I suspect I will be finding glitter on my desk for the next six months, thus providing me with holiday spirit well into 2010.

But enough of the hilarity. Although my friends the MIT engineers don't generally acknowledge it, marketers make sacrifices to maintain and sustain the relationships we work so hard to build. Without marketers, the clever engineers would have a much harder time making potential customers aware of their innovative product.

Sending personalized holiday cards is just one way I've worked throughout my tenure in this program to increase awareness of the importance of our endeavor. I know our program supporters, friends and prospects will appreciate receiving a thoughtfully written holiday card.

If my cost is to be glittery, at least I know I'll glow.

Developing MIT Undergraduate Engineers into Leaders: Watch the Video!

2009-12-08T10:46:00.004-05:00

As Director of Communications and Outreach for the Bernard M. Gordon-MIT Engineering Leadership Program, I've learned over the past 16 months that engineers--like most other professionals--take very seriously the future robustness of their profession. This is particularly germane as the older generation of engineers retires, revealing gaping holes in the knowledge, proficiency and leadership skills of those engineers who would replace them.

I've been told by lifelong engineers that the Gordon-MIT ELP is a truly new approach to teaching leadership to a new generation of engineers, and this video demonstrates how we're doing it.

I love the program because it really looks at how people lead and--similar to my participation many years ago in ROTC and experiences as a young Army officer--the program devises unique ways to help young engineers learn those skills. It's open to all undergraduates in MIT's School of Engineering - that's almost 1000 new students each year.

One part of the program is an "Industry Advisory Board" (IAB). Among the IAB members are Bill Warner of Avid (an Oscar winner who produced this video, and whose energy, creativity and expertise has helped advance the program in many ways), Vanu Bose, of Vanu, Inc, Dan Riccio of Apple Computer, Inc., Sorin Marcovici of Analogic, Victor Tang of IBM, Peter Zeeb of GeoSyntec, Javier de Luis of Aurora Flight Systems, Jean-Marc Soucy of BP, and of course Bernie Gordon, Founder of Analogic.

In my experience, outside boards like the IAB are often lightly involved: Brief'em, feed'em, get'em out the door. Not in the Gordon-MIT ELP: The IAB played an instrumental role in designing the goals, the methods, and even the philosophy of the program. Bernie Gordon actively participates in IAB meetings. The result is productive collaboration of engineering leaders from industry and from MIT. The IAB is heavily involved, and the program benefits at all levels from their active participation.

For students in the program, It's not the usual classroom routine: MIT sophomores enter the Gordon-MIT ELP through MIT's popular UPOP (Undergraduate Practice Opportunities Program); after successfully completing UPOP they are eligible to participate in ELPOP (Engineering Leadership Practice Opportunities Program), which offers certain aspects of the Gordon program, but is less intensive.

The program's most intense level of participation is the highly selective GEL (Gordon Engineering Leader) track, which includes weekly Engineering Leadership Labs (ELL--see below); "Internship Plus" opportunities where students get jobs in industry over the summer and obtain meaningful leadership exposure; short courses in "Engineering Innovation and Design," "Engineering Leadership," and others; close mentorship relationships with industry leaders; one-on-one leadership counseling and development, and much more. Both ELPOP and GEL immerse students in leadership training for two years.

A core component of the GEL program are the weekly ELLs. Each lab teaches some element of leadership. Labs are designed by seniors in the program, and are delivered to juniors. It's a great way to delve into leadership - through high-pressure exercises, and later by designing and teaching those exercises. You'll see one example of a recent ELL in the video.

From a personal standpoint, being so closely involved with the design and evolution of the program has really given me a feel for what the program makes possible. I've seen our students evolve as leaders from week to week. I've seen them open their eyes to new ways to getting things done -- sometimes by taking the fastest path, not the hardest or most complex (as MIT students are reputed for doing). I've seen them learn from the staff and from each other. I've seen them understand why basic communications and interpersonal skills are essential, and put their new-found skills to use leading others.

Leadership isn't taught; it's learned. And what better place than MIT for our nation's future engineering leaders to learn the leadership skills that will help to advance engineering innovation and invention.

Ten Leadership Tips for Students Considering Studying a STEM Field

2009-12-03T13:59:00.005-05:00

As many of you know, not only do I write for myself, but I also write for others--both as part of my job as Director of Communications for the Bernard M. Gordon-MIT Engineering Leadership Program and as a freelancing marketing/communications professional (www.the-hired-pen.com).

The Gordon-MIT ELP's Director, MIT Professor Edward Crawley, was recently approached by the authors of the "Professor's Guide" blog for U.S. News and World Report. They contacted him on the basis of an article on the program by Tracy Jan that appeared in the Boston Globe on October 25.

They were interested in sharing with their readers Ed's perspective on the "leadership essentials" for any student considering a career in a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) field. Naturally, Ed delegated the task to me, and I had the great good fortune to collaborate with Visiting Lecturer (general design guru and all-around good guy) Blade Kotelly to craft a piece entitled "Ten Tips for Success for Engineering Students."

It was extremely interesting to write an article on leadership tips that to me--having served as an officer in the U.S. Army and spent a considerable amount of time in the law enforcement field--are deeply ingrained and intuitive. If I can help emerging STEM leaders grow more proficient in these so-called "soft skill" areas, then my writing skills will truly have been put to good use.

Ten Ways to Add More (and Spend Less) Green this Holiday Season

2009-11-13T10:59:00.007-05:00

With all the talk about "being green" and "saving green" during the continuing economic downturn (the recession may be over, but no one's told that to my savings account!), I thought it would be useful to compile and provide the following "Top Ten" list of How to Add More (and Spend Less) Green this Holiday Season.

1) Rethink sending holiday cards. Send an e-card or a poscard. If you insist on sending a traditional holiday card, buy a bulk package of cards made of recycled paper with earth friendly dyes.

2) Green your lights. For those of you who have a Christmas tree in your house, switch from standard tree lights to LED tree lights. Program a light timer to minimize energy usage.

3) Bring nature indoors. Choose and display ornaments and decorations made from natural objects or recycled materials, like reclaimed metal, natural wool, recycled wood, hemp or other materials.

4) Balance your carbon footprint. While I certainly don't suggest these as a stocking stuffer, you can easily buy carbon offsets for your holiday travel. Check out www.carbonfund.org, the largest seller of carbon offsets.

5) Wrap with care and conservation in mind. Buy holiday paper made from recycled paper and earth friendly dyes. Don't overwrap. Here's a suggestion: Use those old newspapers for wrapping and then recycle them.

6) Think "slow food": Eat local!. Find a farmer or local market. Anything produced and bought locally comes to your home with reduced emissions from unnecessary travel time.

7) Recycle your Christmas tree. Have Christmas year-round! As soon as the holidays end, take your tree to a chipper and turn it into pine mulch that you can use in your garden next year.

8) Trade-in your old electronics. Don't buy anything new unless you can recycle the old.

9) Give a gift, get a gift. Very important for the kids: Have your children recycle their gently worn toys. Remember those in need: "With all they getting, get compassion."

10) Carry a holiday shopping bag. Pass on those glossy shopping bags and, in the spirit of the season, use something plain, understated and reusable.

The Hired Pen: Official Blogger of All Hail, Washington Redskins!

2009-09-18T14:48:00.004-04:00

If you're among the hundreds (ok, dozens) of people who read my infrequent blog posts, Tweets, or Facebook postings, you'll be pleased to discover that after a rigorous competition, I have been selected as the Official Blogger of All Hail, Washington Redskins!

I encourage you to visit AHWR to read my latest blog entries, as well as other entertaining features of the site. Of course, please continue to check back at The Hired Pen for non-Redskins related blogs.

In the meantime, I wish all my fellow Tribe members a healthy, happy, and spiritually fulfilling New Year.

What Happens When Twitter and Facebook Go Down

2009-08-07T14:06:00.005-04:00

As anyone (and that's almost everyone) who uses Facebook or Twitter knows, yesterday both services went temporarily offline due to a hacker attack. Not coincidentally, I was unusually productive during the eclipse of service, causing me to remember those halcyon days in the pre-timesuck era, when Facebook and Twitter were known as "personal business" not to be conducted at work.

Anyway, my non-Facebook (and taciturn Twitterer) friend Steve the New Guy (writer and editor for the award-winning publication Heath Plan Week) responded to my productivity with the following (not so tongue-in-cheek) press release:

* * *
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

BOSTON — Aug. 7, 2009: Work productivity spiked dramatically yesterday within the Communications and Outreach division of the Bernard M. Gordon-MIT Engineering Leadership Program office, according to an internal departmental review conducted by the Massachusetts Institute for Technology. Also on August 6, social networking sites Twitter and Facebook were offline most of the day.

Bruce Mendelsohn, Director of the Communications and Outreach office, denied there was a link between the increased output within his department and the downed Internet sites. The productivity increase was not seen in any other MIT departments, according to the study.

* * *

It's true: The most amusing jokes contain a grain of truth.

The Real Reason We Can't Post the Ten Commandments in Court- or State-houses

2009-07-02T13:02:00.002-04:00

The real reason we can't post the Ten Commandments in a courthouse or statehouse is because we simply can't regulate 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in buildings full of lawyers, judges and politicians.

This would, of course, create a hostile work environment.

Incongruous Sight Inspires Worse Doggerel

2009-06-25T10:52:00.002-04:00

Last night upon returning home from yet another unpleasant commute (in addition to dampening the spirits of one and all, the rain seems to have slowed down commute times to a snail's pace) I confronted a jarring sight in my front yard.

As most jarring sights do, it inspired me. So I wrote about it.

To imagine, I think, it is hard,
a toilet
In my front yard.

How it got there I know not
This ugly porcelain pot.

It torments me
This toilet
That once was filled with pee.

On a tree stump
It sits
Awaiting another dump.

I pray it soon disappears
This toilet
That once hosted so many rears.

When I get home today
It better be gone
Or sit on it I may.

Thoughts on Father's Day

2009-06-20T20:44:00.003-04:00

Seven years ago tomorrow I became a father. My daughter was born on Father's Day in 2002. On that auspicious day I wasn't ready to become a father. At the time, I didn't understand how becoming a father would transform my life. As the years have passed I have grown to understand and appreciate the challenges and rewards of fatherhood.

Being the father of a daughter is particularly challenging: Although divorced from my daughter's mother, I nevertheless treat her respectfully. Now remarried, I treat my current wife with love and respect. In all my relationships with the women in my life and those in my daughter's life, I seek to model behavior which my daughter will learn to recognize as the way she should expect to be treated by the men in her life.

Although my daughter may never realize it, her presence in my life has made me a better man, a better husband, and a better son. That's the best Father's Day gift of all.

A Singapore Street Not Encouraged for Americans

2009-06-07T03:09:00.003-04:00

One Whirlwind Day in Singapore

2009-06-07T02:43:00.006-04:00

Here's a recap of my first day of touring in Singapore--a very easy city to navigate, with excellent, safe and reliable public transportation.

Mounting the Singapore Airlines "hop-on, hop-off" bus at Stop #10 (and lamenting yet again that I did not take SIA, as a boarding pass gives you a significantly discounted rate), I took advantage of the air-conditioned bus that conveys tourists all around downtown and allows infinite on and off privileges for the one-day ticket. It has a convenient schedule and hits all the major tourist (and shopping) spots.

My first stop (#14) was the lush and verdant Singapore Botanic Gardens. I toured the Ginger Garden, took in the National Orchid Museum, and walked around the beautifully manicured paths. After an hour or so, I got back on the bus (thankful for the A/C) and took it to Little India (Stop #21). If shopping is your thing, you'll prefer Stop #20, Orchard Street, where Singapore's lavish wealth is prominently on display.

Walking on Little india's crowded, exotically scented streets, I visited several temples, all of which were packed with worshippers who didn't mind the presence of a tourist. I remembered to give token donations at all the temples I visited. All that religion got me hungry, so I adjourned to a local establishment (randomly selected) to eat a authentic and simply delicious Indian meal. I lamented to the owner (whom I thought understood me) that I cannot get Indian food as good as his in the U.S.)

Although by this point the sun was at its apex, beating down mercilessly, I walked down Syed Alawi Street towards the Sultan Mosque. It was a little hard to find, but I asked a local who answered me in "Singlish"--the unique patois of Singaporean and English that I somehow understood.

I walked down and around Arab Street, a pedestrian mall that's a slice of the MIddle East in the Far East. I haggled somewhat lethargically with a few vendors selling beautiful fabrics, scarves and pashminas. By that time I needed a snack, so I (again) randomly selected a cafe and ordered a authentic plate of hummus and pita. After that I picked up the bus at the Golden Landmark hotel and thought about calling it a day.

On a whim, instead I alighted at Stop #2, the Singapore Flyer. It's so new that my guidebook didn't mention it. While the ride is expensive and touristy, it's definitely worth it, and especially on my first day in Singapore--if only to get a sense of the sheer size of the city. It's a half hour--I skipped, of course, the gift shop and the overpriced mall at the base of the Flyer--and got back on the bus to Stop #10, and took it back to my hotel for a well-earned rest.

That's a eight-hour day of touring in Singapore, and I barely scratched the surface, missing Chinatown, the Merlion, the Museum of Asian Civilizations, etc. Well, there's always tomorrow.

Yes, It's the Other Side of the World But People are the Same Everywhere

2009-06-05T08:31:00.003-04:00

Geographically, Singapore is the other side of the planet. In terms of humanity, however, my travels have taught me that at our cores, people are the same.

By way of a story...

This evening after checking into my hotel--the Furama Riverside--I wanted to go for a walk to find a restaurant but also to get my bearings. In my travels I've always found it helpful to recognize the neighborhood in which I'm temporarily residing.

You don't see many people walking around in Singapore and I understand why. It is brutally hot and humid, even at 7 in the evening. I walked around the block, bypassing the sidewalk restaurants offering various frog-related delicacies (solving the mystery of why the world's supply of frogs is diminishing) and ended up where I started, near my hotel.

Rather than give up and eat at the hotel restaurant, I saw in the distance one of those touristy-type restaurants that are common in Asia--you know, the ones with the buses in front and the goofy shrines to Buddha at the entranceways--so I walked up the stairs and straight into a scene from out of a Chinese version of a Western flick: The movies when the bad guy walks into a bar, the music stops and everyone turns to look at him like he's totally out of place...

The place was full of Chinese tourists (no matter where I go I cannot get away from Chinese tourists but that's because there are so DAMN MANY OF THEM) and they looked at me like, uh-oh, if a gaijin is here it must not be good food. Anyway, I nodded to them all and sat myself down at a table and proceeded to eat the best Chinese food I have had since, well, since I left China. In fact, it was probably better than the food I ate in China.

I recall eating a spicy and sour (not hot and sour) chicken soup with some sort of tofu and vegetables, followed by a fish dish cooked in ginger and onions. I know I saw some squid in there. I was particularly proud when the server handed me a fork and a spoon and I said, "no, I prefer to use chopsticks." I enjoyed my meal while the Chinese tourists snatched curious stares at me.

The whole experience of traveling is great because it really reinforces my belief that at heart, we're all alike. We have to eat; we have errands to run and chores to do; we smile at happy things and scowl at unhappy things; we ride bikes; we drive cars; we're curious. We want to live in peace. We want good Chinese food. We look different but we're all the same at heart.

In light of President Obama's speech the other day--of which I caught snippets--I think that sentiment is particularly apt. Perhaps I'll mull that over in my dreams tonight, as I try to catch up on the sleep I did not get during my 20-hour journey to the other side of the world.

Thank you, British Airways

2009-06-03T14:27:00.006-04:00

Consumers have from the beginning of consumerism chosen every day where to invest our dollars, ducats, or denarii. We ought not overlook the power of that choice.

With that truism in mind, here's the story of how and why I chose British Airways for my imminent trip to Singapore. The story illustrates both the power of an educated consumer as well as the psychological impact of attentive and personalized customer service.

Several airlines fly the Boston-Europe-Singapore route, including U.S. and non-U.S. flag carriers. I chose British Airways because of the following reasons:

1) Convenience: The fight I chose leaves Boston in the morning and arrives at Heathrow shortly after 7 p.m local time. It departs shortly after 9 p.m. and arrives in Singapore Friday evening at 5 p.m local time. This minimizes layover time and the disruption of my normal biorhythms. The schedules of other carriers were simply not as convenient.

2) Price: On such a long trip, it's preferable to fly B-class. But if you can't afford it, BA offers "World Traveler Plus": Premium economy class that gives passengers more leg room, a deeper seat recline, and the privacy of a different section. The price for premium economy isn't that much more than "World Traveler" (economy) class, and on long flights like theses, the extra room and privacy are well worth the investment. No U.S. flag carrier offers premium economy on this particular route, so this was a no-brainer.

3) Customer service: We've come to accept that the customer service of U.S. flag carriers is, well, substandard. When I called BA to select a seat in advance of the flight, they explained that seating assignment opened 24 hours before the flight. Because I am traveling alone, I offered to sit in one of the single seats in premium economy class. It was a ploy, and I'm sure the representative with whom I was speaking (who did NOT have an Indian accent, but rather a crisp British one) recognized it as such. Nevertheless, she graciously accepted my "offer" and assigned me to that seat. What's more, she assigned me preferable seats for each leg of my trip, to and from Singapore. I very much doubt a CSR for a U.S. flag carrier would offer to go that extra mile.

4) Online check-in: While this is standard for all airlines, British Airways adds a few touches that make it seem special. For example: They have a checklist for international travelers (I've traveled internationally a lot but it helps to have a checklist of items you need to ease border crossings); they acknowledged my special meal and asked me if I wanted email confirmation of that special order; they offered "Skymall" products they felt might make the trip a little easier. All unnecessary touches that made me feel valued.

Being a "marketing guy" I generally recognize when I'm being sold or up-sold. I know the language, I know the tactics, I know the tools. Even though British Airways used the language, the tactics and the tools, I didn't feel pressured.

On the contrary, having educated myself and following a positive customer service experience, I felt grateful that they were offering me products/services I might find valuable or useful on my long journey. I was happy to be exposed to those purchasing opportunities...

Who knows? I may buy those customized airline slippers after all.

Welcome to Taxachusetts: Give Us Your Money

2009-04-16T12:15:00.003-04:00

According to a report released, appropriately, the day before Tax Day by the Small Business & Entrepreneurship Council, Massachusett's state tax system is one of the worst in the U.S. for small businesses and entrepreneurs.

Now I finally understand why so many small businesses fail so miserably in our fine Commonwealth. Governor Patrick, are you paying attention?!

The Four Questions... Now, in Latin!

2009-04-08T09:47:00.004-04:00

Among the benefits of being married to a Latin scholar are that you have immediate access to translation services: Both from Latin into English, and from other languages into Latin.

So this year, in preparation for Passover, I asked my favorite Latin scholar to translate the Four Questions into Latin.

I've heard the Four Questions asked in Hebrew, Yiddish, German, Russian and Italian, but never until now (and at tonight's seder) in Latin. My only complaint is that there doesn't appear to be a word in Latin for 'matzoh'. That said, here they are:

1) Cur est haec nox dissimilis quam omnes noctes aliae? (Why is this night different from all other nights?)

2) Cur in omnibus aliis noctibus inter annum nos edimus aut panem aut matzoh, sed in hac nocte nos edimus solum matzoh? (Why is it that on all other nights during the year we eat either bread or matzoh, but on this night we eat only matzoh?)

3) Cur in omnibus aliis noctibus nos edimus varias herbas, sed in hac nocte nos edimus solum amaras herbas? (Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we eat only bitter herbs?)

4) Cur in omnibus aliis noctibus nos non tingimus nostras herbas etiam semel, sed in hac nocte nos tingimus eas bis? (Why is it that on all other nights we do not dip our herbs even once, but on this night we dip them twice?)

5) Cur in omnibus aliis noctibus nos edimus aut sedentes aut recumbentes, sed in hac nocte nos edimus recumbentes? (Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position?)

Happy Passover to all!

April Fool's Day... Who's Fooling Whom?

2009-03-31T18:02:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day but I must confess that although I am normally a "merry prankster," this year I am not in a foolish mood. My mood is somber bordering on serious.

I'm therefore boycotting April Fool's Day, which for me is a sacrifice since it's one of those rare days on which my particular kind of mischevious humor is encouraged and even accepted.

Why my April Fool's merrymaking moratorium?

While some may argue that a little levity lightens the long faces (hence I'm being a killjoy), I agree with other, more circumspect individuals who argue that there's a time for mirth and a time for sobriety.

Recent natural disasters, ongoing economic hardships, and various other causes for sobriety place me firmly in the category of advocating for seriousness. That doesn't mean I'll mope all day; it means only that I'll be more serious than usual, hoping to influence others that this year, at least for me, there's no foolin' on April Fool's.

Like Father, Like Daughter: Preparation is the Key to Successful Media Outreach

2009-03-26T08:44:00.005-04:00

I've experienced many media appearances in my professional career: Whether it's Wolf Blitzer's CNN Presents, a interview with a radio personality like Laura Ingraham, or even creating a Public Service Announcement, intense preparation is the key to success.

Being prepared with a few solid and compelling talking points is the key to a successful media appearance--for the interviewer, the interviewee and of course the audience. This is especially critical in non-profit ads.

That's why--even overlooking the fact that my daughter has the opening line in the ad--I am very impressed with this fundraising ad from the Jewish Federation of South Palm Beach County.

Listen to the ad (intended for Cable TV and radio) and you'll hear and see an excellent example of strong, compelling and emotional advertising. Precisely the kind of ads that in these tumultuous times resonate with potential donors.

Define Dull, Please...

2009-03-25T09:21:00.002-04:00

Reported in today's Worcester Business Journal: The Worcester area's job market is expected to be "dull" in the second quarter, according to Wisconsin-based employment services firm Manpower Inc.

I have to ask: Does the word "dull" describe the dynamics of the job market or the quality of the employees?

The Hired Pen Profiled in Worcesterscene.com!

2009-03-04T09:33:00.003-05:00

Luke Vaillancourt, whose efforts on behalf of Worcesterscene.com I mentioned in a previous blog entry, was kind enough to profile The Hired Pen on his website. Here's what he posted.

Businesses Helping Businesses

Posted on March 4th, 2009

WorcesterScene.com has been able to find a lot of businesses in the city that may not ordinarily be found—one reason for this is that we active seek them. Often, it is difficult to be heard in a sea of noise, which is why having someone who knows what they are doing can really benefit your business or your organization.

Bruce Mendelsohn has been in the business for more than 15 years and started The Hired Pen (http://www.the-hired-pen.com) as a affordable and quick asset to bolster your marketing, communications and public relations efforts. In this tough economy, Bruce’s expertise is a must for local businesses and organizations operating on tight budgets.

With media contacts and expertise that put him in the national spotlight with sources such as CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Presents and The New York Times, Bruce is Worcester-centric and potentially a great asset to ensuring your vital messages get heard and your marketing materials are compelling.

Who knew the pen could speak so loudly?

After Worcester Bashing... Comes Worcester Promoting!

2009-03-02T11:29:00.005-05:00

As I have been kindly reminded by several people who've responded to my most recent blog post, it's not fair to bash Worcester without mentioning some of the exciting things going on in town.

With that goal in mind, the event that merits immediate promotion is Worcesterscene.com's "Fling into Spring" promotion.

According to Luke M. Vaillancourt, Principal of WorcesterScene.com, "Fling Into Spring" is a a contest in which one lucky randomly chosen winner (to be notified on April 1) gets a night out (April 30th) for two in Worcester.

This is no ordinary night out, Worcesterites. Right now it includes:

- Transportation for two for the evening
- Dinner for two at Grille 57
- Desserts for two at Allgos
- A hair cut/style at Rinse Hair Lounge
- A $100 gift card to Tush
- Two tickets to an event/show in the city
- A room for the night at the Crowne Plaza

Luke assures me that he's lining up more sponsors and the evening out will certainly include even more goodies. Luke asked me to help him promote "Fling into Spring" and I happily agreed.

After all, bashing Worcester really gets tiresome.

Choose Worcester... Destination Worcester... "Discovering the Worcester Way"... And More Delusions of Grandeur

2009-03-01T13:58:00.009-05:00

We now return to one of my most visited blog topics: Worcester bashing.

People not from heah really heap scorn on my adopted hometown (though for purposes of full disclosure I live in Auburn, NOT Worcester). The derisive remarks range from "the city is ugly" to "why did the city reject a Mass. Pike exit?" to "the city had its heyday more than 100 years ago." Yes, I've heard them all and often repeated them.

Sadly, to a great extent the derisiveness is earned and deserved. There are numerous examples of why bashing Worcester is so easy; today let's focus on three: Choose Worcester, Destination Worcester, and "Discover the Worcester Way."

1) Choose Worcester: A privately funded, public-private partnership formed to assist businesses to locate, grow and prosper in the city, Choose Worcester Inc. was amidst great fanfare established in late 2007 to market Worcester on a local, regional and international level.

With a budget of $1.2 million the staff of three embarked hopefully and optimistically on yet another economic development initiative in Worcester, whose recent history is marked by a series of marketing drives that went nowhere.

The verdict thus far? Let's hear from the venerable Worcester Telegram & Gazette. In a article on November 14, 2008 titled "Running in Place", the T&G reported: "Now in its second year of operation, Choose Worcester has shifted its focus, devoting its entire effort to courting new businesses... with developments such as improved commuter rail service between Worcester and Boston, Worcester is better placed than ever to persuade new companies to fill the vacant space."

Less than two years old and already a change in focus.

The reality is that CWI has placed its bet on the city's much-hyped (and unbuilt) CitySquare project, a $563 million initiative to revamp downtown Worcester. CitySquare is stalled four years after its conception, as project developer Berkeley Investments struggles to secure tenants. A daunting prospect in today's economy.

In fact, as we sink deeper into this recession, CWI's last news bulletin on November 19, 2008 was that the organization’s website has seen an average of over 7000 hits per month since September 1st. That's "a dramatic increase over the 2000 hits per month during the website’s first nine months in existence." That's it? That's all the news they have to report in three months?!

The silence from CWI rings loudly. Businesses aren't choosing Worcester.

CWI's grade thus far: D. (They're still operating and they have a website).

2) Destination Worcester: Started in June 2007, Destination Worcester is according to its website "a strategic investment in the hospitality industry, a focused endeavor to showcase and sell the destination to meeting & convention planners, and event & sports organizers. Acting as a single point of contact for the destination, Destination Worcester provides enhanced communications and a streamlined process for booking events in Worcester."

Worcester's FY09 budget (which allocates $500,000 to Destination Worcester) describes the organization as "first and foremost a sales organization whose goal is to increase definite room nights in the city by 22,500 by executing a targeted and proactive sales strategy."

What's the strategy? From the research I've conducted on DW, it's hire a Executive Director and two managers, produce a video using old footage (see the Daily Worcesteria blog for a great summary of this ill-conceived video), and get zero news coverage. As to the goal of increasing definite room nights in the city by 22,500? No results to be found.

DW's grade thus far: D+ (They're still operating, they have a robust website and a Facebook group.)

Before we get to the last of our three examples of why Worcester bashing is so damn easy, it shouldn't strike anyone as a coincidence that many of the same people serve on the Board of Directors of both CWI and DW.

Same old people = same old ideas = same old results.

3) "Discovering the Worcester Way": The Massachusetts Cultural Council's Adams Arts Program recently approved three Central Massachusetts organizations for funding in 2009, the largest of which was a $40,000 grant for the Worcester Cultural Coalition for a project called "Discovering the Worcester Way," a marketing campaign focused on the city's cultural opportunities.

It's true, there's a lot going in on Worcester culturally. The Worcester Cultural Coalition does a good job of promoting cultural opportunities on its website, and Executive Director Erin Williams is highly visible at Worcester events, be they cultural, political and/or business.

But as CWI and DW continue to fail to draw bodies to Worcester, the Worcester Cultural Coalition's strong promotional efforts will not be as successful as they deserve to be.

WCC's grade thus far: B- (Erin is a tireless advocate for a city whose aging veneer hides top-tier cultural offerings; the WCC's website is excellent; and they received a grant in a year when grants are scarce).

In summary, I've seen absolutely no indication of CWI, DW and the WCC working together, orchestrated by the Worcester Chamber of Commerce (which under Dick Kennedy should coordinate any and all outreach efforts).

The delusion of grandeur is that each organization will, on its own, hit upon some magical formula that will all of sudden convince hordes of people to choose Worcester or make Worcester a destination--rather than a city they simply miss (or drive by) as they derisively say, "what a pit."

Get a Reporter Interested in Your Organization... Then Do This.

2009-02-27T08:33:00.006-05:00

Papers are closing at an alarming rate and reporters are being worked harder than ever. Now's your chance to pitch a story about your organization. A well-timed call (NOT when a reporter's on deadline) with a compelling story could spark some interest from a reporter in your organization. Once you pique their interest, here are some basic rules to follow.

Recognize that while some reporters are transparent (if it's a human interest story even likely sympathetic) there's no way to know in advance the angle the reporter will take--even when you try to "seed" the story. Know this going in.

Before you make any calls, do your due diligence. Research his/her previous stories. Find out what they cover, what their style is, and their specific areas of interest. Be prepared to commend (but not too lavishly) the reporter on his/her reporting. That may not be necessary but even a little due diligence will help you prepare your messaging and put the reporter "on notice" that you're aware of his/her beat and coverage.

Having done that, set up a very informal conversation (either by phone or in person) during which you can seed your story. Answer honestly any questions the reporter may have; offer answers under the guise of your desire "to make sure his/her visit is as productive as possible." During that conversation, mention certain organizational success stories--testimonials of people who have benefited from their participation in/association with your organization. Do this to positively predispose the reporter. Offer an exclusive: Reporters are always interested in exclusives; this is a influential concession on your part.

If and when the reporter comes to your organization or your event, plan in advance with whom you're going to connect the reporter. Connect the reporter with the people whose success stories you related during the previous conversation I recommended (above).

Be sure you've advised those people in advance that the reporter may speak with them. Make sure you're briefed those people with the key organizational messages you want to communicate. This is to ensure that everyone's speaking from the same sheet and that you're managing the messages. This is hugely important: Reporters are trained to look for inconsistencies and then build their stories on those inconsistencies.

Don't be too eager for coverage but also don't be too suspicious. Both extremes can be interpreted as warning signs for an underlying story. Be transparent, be welcoming, be genuine. Play out the best stories in conversation and say, "you'll really want to meet these people for yourself" or "to really understand how works, come see for
yourself." That's a little tease which validates the reporter's initial interest.

Follow these simple steps and soon you too will be a media maven.

LinkedIn Tip: Follow Through on the Questions You Ask!

2009-02-08T11:25:00.004-05:00

There's no doubt that LinkedIn is an effective social networking tool to complement traditional networking. As LinkedIn has grown, so have the LinkedIn "experts" who help people use the tool most effectively.

Tips from experts include asking and answering questions to create visibility for your profile and your expertise, updating your profile frequently, and focusing on building quality (rather than quantity) connections.

If you're asking questions on LinkedIn, you really should research and provide the answer to the question you ask. After all, if you're using LinkedIn to underscore your professionalism, you should include answers to indicate your commitment to follow through.

Consider the following example.

A few weeks ago, after ordering some Girl Scout Cookies, I posed the following question in the "Guerilla Marketing" category: "Girl Scout Cookies. You're limited to buying only ONE BOX this year. What flavor do you order (and why)?"

About 35 people responded to the question. As their responses rolled in, I got curious about the Girl Scout cookie "industrial complex". I reached out to a PR contact in the Girl Scouts of Gateway Council (Alex Gornik) and asked her about sales. Being responsive and eager to evagelize about these sweet treats, she sent me information relevant to my question.

I've featured the information below, but the point of this post is to convey that after receiving this information, I sent a personalized email to every individual who responded to the initial question. I thanked them for responding and repackaged the information I received from my Girl Scout contact.

That's following through. A valuable bit of advice for LinkedIn users.

Here's the information I received from my Girl Scout contact:
Some stats from Little Brownie Bakers (one of the two national bakers that provide Girl Scout Cookies) are: Nationally Thin Mints and Samoas make up 50% of all cookies sold; Do Si Dos, Tagalongs and Trefoils = 30%; and all the others = 20%.
The Girl Scouts of Gateway Council (covering 16 counties in North Florida including Jacksonville) have similar stats (2008 sale):
* 31 Mints
* 25 Samoas
* 14 DoSiDos
* 8 Lemon
* 7 All Abouts
* 5 Trefoil
* 5 Choc. Chip
* 5 Tags

Girl Scout cookies both support local Girl Scout Troops and programs and camp to keep costs low so every girl can have the opportunity to participate regardless of her family’s ability to pay.

So two actions-to-take from this posting:
1) Follow through on the questions you ask on LinkedIn
2) Enjoy your Girl Scout cookies (especially Thin Mints)!

Saw Cats. Walked Out at Intermission. Discover Why.

2009-01-25T16:20:00.006-05:00

Today the wife and I saw a traveling company production of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, Cats, at the Hanover Theatre in Worcester. The Hanover is a lovely reclaimed theatre with great acoustics and it's ten minutes from our house. We're theatre subscribers so we attend at least five productions there every season.

Cats truly disappointed.

According to Wikipedia, Cats is a musical composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber based on Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot. It introduced the song standard, 'Memory'.

The musical first opened in London in 1981 and then on Broadway in 1982, in each case directed by Trevor Nunn. It won numerous awards, including both the Laurence Olivier Award and the Tony Award for Best Musical. The London production ran for 21 years and the Broadway production for eighteen years, in both cases setting historical long-run records.

I don't understand Andrew Lloyd Webber's popularity. I found the music in Cats cacophonous, the dialogue stultifying, the lighting overbearing, and the costumes annoyingly 80s. The plot was shaky at best--a story loosely wrapped around synthesized music--and the music seemed forced and formulaic. In fact, the whole production seemed tired, lacking energy.

That could well be attributable to the company's thespians rather than the musical itself, which I saw several years on Broadway and didn't enjoy then, either.

I'm certainly not professionally qualified to critique the musical. And far be it from me to doubt Andrew Lloyd Webber's popularity. Several of his musicals have run for more than a decade both in London's West End and on Broadway. He's composed 13 musicals, a song cycle, a set of variations, two film scores, and a Latin Requiem Mass.

His honors include a knighthood in 1992 (followed by a peerage), seven Tony Awards, three Grammy Awards, an Academy Award, an Emmy Award, seven Olivier Awards, a Golden Globe, and the Kennedy Center Honors in 2006.

More than likely, my own artistic preferences prevent me from appreciating Lloyd Webber's "music for the masses." When people go to the theatre, they're paying to be entertained. They wants flashing lights, fanciful costumes, lighthearted music and simple plots they can easily understand. That's why Andrew Lloyd Webber's musicals like Cats, Jesus Christ Superstar (which I also did not like) and Phantom of the Opera are so successful.

As for me, I prefer my theatre more thought-provoking.

The Best Way to Make Sure I DON'T Buy Your Product

2009-01-14T19:13:00.004-05:00

Internet marketers, please heed the following screed.

The best way to make sure I don't buy your product is to trick me into visiting your site. Despite all the surveys and studies that show consumers absolutely abhor this tactic, some of you are still conducting these insidious and underhanded campaigns.

Even more detestable: Connecting the unsubscribe option (and other hotlinks) to your website.

Case in point: Today I received an email from myself, titled "From admin". I'm not 'admin' and I certainly didn't send myself the email in question--in fact, it was purportedly from Microsoft. Nothing was attached to the email I didn't send myself, so I opened it.

Always seeking to decrease the amount of spam I receive, I unsuspectingly clicked on the unsubscribe button.

Whereupon I was directed to...

A website for "Canadian Pharmacy" where I could buy discounted drugs.

I clicked on the "More Newsletters" option in the same email, with the same result--Canadian Pharmacy. I clicked on the "Privacy" option in the same email; same result--Canadian Pharmacy.

Canadian Pharmacy, you're not getting my business. You're getting my wrath. And it's substantial.

You've earned my solemn vow to report you to every single spam authority I know of. I'm also contacting Microsoft to advise them that you are illegally using their logo and their address. I'm pushing this blog entry as aggressively as possible to ensure others avoid your scheme.

Internet marketers, do not employ these shameless techniques to drive traffic to your site. I guarantee you won't be happy with the results.

Can You Believe Organizations Still Push Direct Email Campaigns Like This One?!

2009-01-09T17:46:00.009-05:00

I recently received a email blast from the Worcester Chamber of Commerce.

As you can see, the banner is virtually unreadable, crammed full of messages from sponsors. The email below it isn't much better. It's a scroll through poorly designed announcements, conflicting logos, clashing fonts and dueling events. It's amateurish. It's a weapon of mass distraction.

Sadly, I've come to expect stuff like this from the Worcester Chamber of Commerce, as they try to squeeze every penny out of their increasingly disgruntled (and diminishing) membership base.

Setting aside the Balkans-like morass of the struggles between Central Massachusetts Chambers of Commerce, suffice it to say that the Worcester Chamber of Commerce has enjoyed more prosperous times.

But in terms of marketing and communications, this direct email campaign (if you can call it that) represents a new low in the Worcester Chamber of Commerce's outreach efforts. From this utterly abysmal piece I can only conclude that the head of the Chamber just isn't familiar with "new" direct email techniques.

So here's some free direct email marketing advice for the "powers that be" at the Worcester Chamber of Commerce (and for those of you in the profession who haven't yet grasped these fundamental lessons):

* Keep it simple: One message. One call to action.

* Keep the most important information above the fold: Surveys show that scroll down rates diminish precipitously, even as open rates decline. Keep your most important information (see "keep it simple") above the fold and immediately readable.

* Make it easy for people to act: One call to action (see "keep it simple") makes it easy for people to act. Give them a plethora of options and they'll generally choose to do nothing. Don't overwhelm your target audience. It's the quickest way to alienate them and turn them into "unsubs."

* Herd your target audience to your website: Use direct email to leverage your target audience. Entice them to click through to your website (although in the case of the Chamber's website this isn't a good idea) where you can capture their contact information and truly influence them.

This direct email campaign from the Worcester Chamber of Commerce fails on so many levels it's shameful. The Chamber's website is a shambles; a hodgepodge of information with no semblance of order.

On the whole, the email and the website reflect dismally on what purports to be the largest Chamber in New England.

Latest Signs of the Apocalypse... Or, News that Will Make You Even MORE Depressed

2009-01-08T08:58:00.009-05:00

... "Joe the Plumber" is becoming a war correspondent.

... The upcoming inauguration of Barack Obama is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorists, but U.S. intelligence officials have no information about specific threats to the Jan. 20 event.

... Testifying on Capitol Hill yesterday, leading economists warned that, unless comprehensive action is taken, the economy will shed another 3 million jobs in 2009, real Gross Domestic Product could drop by $750 billion, and the unemployment rate will top 10 percent.

... On "Fox News Sunday," former President George H. W. Bush said he's ready for another Bush in the White House. He hopes his son Jeb runs for Senate in Florida and one day for president.

... The Bank of England slashed interest rates by half a percentage point (to 1.5%), bringing its benchmark rate to the lowest level since the central bank was founded more than three centuries ago.

... According to a poll conducted by Deloitte ("Financial Fraud: Does an Economic Downturn Mean an Uptick?"), nearly two-thirds (63.3 percent) of executives polled expect accounting fraud to increase during the next two years.

...Same-store sales slumped in December, and even Wal-Mart Stores wasn't immune, cutting expectations for the current quarter. Neiman Marcus reported a 28% decline, as luxury retailers continued to suffer. Target's same-store sales fell 4.1% and it said profitability was pressured by deep markdowns.

... Nearly half of Americans (48 percent) reported that they will wait longer before their next vehicle purchase, according to the results of Consumer Reports' 2009 Auto Brand Perception Survey.

... Real estate Web site Zillow.com calculated a value for the White House were it actually a home that could be bought and sold. That estimated value - $308,058,000 - would make it by far the most expensive residence in the U.S., however still more than $23 million less than its value one year ago.

... Chicago public school bureaucrats skirted competitive bidding rules to buy 30 cappuccino/espresso machines for $67,000, with most of the machines going unused because the schools they were ordered for had not asked for them, according to a report by the CPS Office of Inspector General.

... ... A dogsled race near Frazee, Minnesota, was canceled because there’s too much snow.

And last but certainly not least...

... Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and HUSTLER magazine publisher Larry Flynt are petitioning the newly convened 111th Congress to provide a $5 billion financial bailout for the adult entertainment industry. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt says, "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

For once, I agree with Mr. Flynt.

Unless You're a Online Market Researcher, Get Your Resume in Order

2009-01-06T08:44:00.005-05:00

Once upon a time, I overlooked the importance and value of market research. That was before my brief tenure at the Marketing Research Association, where I spent an intensive six months trying to increase the organization's exposure in the hyper-competitive and hyper-segmented market research field.

During my time at MRA, I grew to embrace the value of market research, which most marketing communications professionals either eschew or simply don't understand. I've since closely followed the market research industry, staying current with emerging trends in the field and keeping in touch with some of the professionals I met.

When it comes to the future of market research, every sign--be it from authoritative trade publications, long-term industry professionals, or from a general marketing perspective--indicates that the future of market research is online.

The fact is that consumer behavior changes far faster than lead times for new products and services, and the gap is widening. Traditional market research (focus groups, paper surveys, etc.) will therefore be increasingly irrelevant, rendering obsolete data.

Regardless of what the focus group facility owners say, regardless of how much the mall interceptors protest, effective and affordable futurecasting can only come from online market research (despite its inherent flaws upon which the traditionalists have planted their flag).

In the age of immediate information, traditional market research has blown a lot of calls. Take banking. In 1996 most CEOs of large banks dismissed the Internet as irrelevant, a toy of enthusiasts with no real impact on future profitability. Traditional market research strongly confirmed their skepticism: Their results indicated that the overwhelming majority of customers said they weren't interested in using the Internet to run their bank accounts.

Oops.

That's just one example of why the future of market research is online. For more reasons, check out this article by Martin Day of SurveyBounty. His piece really hits the nail on the head; coincidentally sounding the death knell for most traditional market research firms. Sadly, for the most part their heads are stuck so deeply in the sand they won't hear this alarm, as they have missed numerous others.

Market research traditionalists are in for a rude awakening. The companies that survive the inevitable shakeout will be the future-thinkers: Those who see six months to two years further than their competitors. This kind of foresight requires almost instantaneous, actionable data--even if that data isn't 100% "pure." The companies that survive will need to become adept at parallel planning and able to prepare for quick response to various potential outcomes.

As for the others, well, their employees would be wise to get their resumes in order.

Return of the Resolutionistas: Gym Regulars, Welcome Them!

2009-01-04T15:31:00.005-05:00

While I am by no means a "fitness elitist", I am a regular throughout the year at a few gyms. As a spinning instructor and a regular, I've integrated myself in the subtle patterns of those people with whom I share the gym at the various gyms I visit.

There's 'cardio-man' who does only cardio and a helluva lot of it; the very thin (and quiet) schoolteacher who runs a 10K every day on the same treadmill; the neanderthal weightlifters who throw around weights while struggling (with bad form) to do squats; the loud guys in the locker room who dissect every set of their interminable Master's (swimming) workouts. These have been my gym companions throughout the year.

Although we are not friends outside of the gym, we generally acknowledge each other inside with a nod and a courteous "how's it going?"

That is, until the inevitable arrival in January of the "resolutionistas." Every gym regular can recognize a resolutionista: The overweight and out of shape person who, having resolved to "get in shape", comes to the gym beginning in January (generally with the newest fashions and footwear) and wreaks havoc with the intricate choreography the regulars have worked out over the past ten months.

Most regulars eschew the resolutionistas, looking down on them as dilletantes who won't last long. Resolutionistas are like replacement troops: The troops who have been with a combat unit for a while generally never bothered getting to know or befriend replacement troops, figuring they'd soon be gone (dead or transferred).

In the experience of regulars, it takes about a month for the resolutionistas to abandon their get-in-shape vow whereupon we regulars resume our workout patterns. Most regulars just avoid the resolutionistas--in fact, some of the regulars I know don't even go to the gym in January because it's overcrowded with neophytes.

In the past, I've steered clear of the resolutionistas, ignoring them and their efforts to get in shape. I've come to realize that this laissez-faire attitude may be part of the reason the resolutionistas give up.

This year, I'm adopting a different attitude.

This year, I resolve to say hello to every person I don't recognize as a regular. I'll introduce myself as a spinning instructor. When I see someone new at the gym whose form might be off or who is doing something that could endanger their physical health, I'll offer a kind hint or suggestion. I'll be encouraging, warm and welcoming.

I hope my positive attitude enhances a newbies' commitment to follow through on their resolution to get in shape.

If you're a gym regular, I encourage you to welcome a resolutionista to your gym. After all, there's room in the gym for all of us.

Three Easy and Affordable Ways to Position Your Marketing and Communications for 2009

2008-12-30T14:55:00.004-05:00

The turning calendar year inevitably brings with it a tidal wave of retrospectives, guides, and lists about how you can do better—or differently—in the coming year. Every source purports to be expert; every “how-to” article authoritative.

Well, friends, as you’ve read in my blog, that ain’t me. I don’t pretend that what you’re about to read is the authoritative article on how to plan your marketing and communications efforts so they’ll generate measurable and quantifiable results in 2009. You can get that guesswork elsewhere; I won’t waste your precious time with it here.

What you will get are three simple ways to position your marketing and communications efforts to meet—and hopefully overcome—the challenges of 2009. Taking these three steps won’t cost a lot of money, either: Odds are some whiz-kid on your staff knows all about website coding and social networking; he or she will embrace the opportunity to implement some of “your” ideas.

Start with the assumption that the first six months of the year will remain economically moribund. We’re looking at a U-shaped bottom; the economy should start to rebound in the third quarter. Consumers will probably not regain much confidence until late in the fourth quarter—hopefully around the time the holiday spending binge kicks in.

So what do you need to do in the first 6-9 months of 2009 to prepare marketing and communications strategies and tactics that match the economy’s projected path?

Here are three simple and cost-conscious steps you can take now—-and build on in the coming months—-to position your marketing and communications for 2009:

1) PASS your web-based communications:
According to a new survey from Larstan Business Reports, the online communications market is growing at nearly 100% a year. Your web-based communications plays an increasingly critical role in marketing, communications and especially in sales.
Your website is your public face; it’s the first place potential customers interact with you and your product. Of course you know the KISS method; when it comes to websites, I advise my clients to use what I call the PASS method:

• Perfection is your goal: Make sure your content is perfectly aligned with your messaging. Use short sentences and clear, compelling grammar. Make it easy to navigate. Make key information easily accessible (no more than two clicks drilling down). Eliminate spelling errors. Feature concise calls to action.

• Analytics, Adhesivity, Accuracy, Attractiveness: Use Google Analytics (it’s free!) to track traffic to each page of your site. Determine what’s popular and what isn’t. Keep the popular and fix (or jettison) the unpopular. Focus not on website hits but unique visitors and time on site. Check your competitors’ numbers at sites like Compete.com, Quantcast.com, or Popuri.us. Make your site adhesive, accurate and attractive.

• Simplicity is king: The more complex your site, the harder to convey your unique sales proposition. Look at your site critically: Do you have too many pages for the message(s) you’re trying to convey? If so, downsize your website. After all, you don’t spend time clicking through your favorite sites—why should you require your customers to?!

• Separate your site from your competition: Yes, I know, you’re doing this already. Your content is better, your navigability simpler, your product better, blah blah blah. Well, how about doing a low- or no-cost thing like putting your company logo in the web browser’s URL window box? Or featuring your logo on every page, rather than just the home page? Leverage every opportunity to separate and distinguish your company and your product from your competition.

2) Social networking:
This one’s easy, cheap and highly effective. Remember, it doesn’t matter how great you say you are; far more meaningful are comments from others about how great you are.
Use Flickr to post photos of your customers interacting with your product; of your staff at work; etc. Use Facebook, MySpace, or Bebo to create an interest group around your product or company. Use LinkedIn to generate professional interest in your company or product. Expand your personal and professional network through Plaxo, Naymz, Brightfuse, or others. Generate content exclusively for your “friends” and “groupies”. Use social networking sites to generate loyalty and business.

3) Customer contact:
In challenging times, surveys show that nothing is more important than empathy and the quality of your communications efforts to build trust and long-term loyalty between your business and your customers. Here are just two of many suggestions to increase your contact with customers.
• Make your newsletter shorter and send it more often—at least twice a month. Fill it with discounts for loyal customers—make these soft sell offers to reflect your empathy for the tough economic times. Every issue, feature a photo and Q&A with a loyal customer; repurpose that content for your website, Facebook site, LinkedIn group, etc. If your customer has a Facebook site, post the feature on his or her wall. Show your customers you care.
• Advertise carefully: Revisit your advertising plan. You don’t need a full-page ad in The Wall Street Journal (Bob Nardelli and Chrysler, note!) to underscore your company’s value. Advertising in niche publications is cheaper and more effective—plus more likely to reach your target audience. Online, invest in a long-term Google Adwords campaign.

Do these three things right, integrate them, and your marketing and communications efforts can generate positive results as we navigate next year’s uncharted and murky water.

The Death of Even One Law Enforcement Officer is Too Many

2008-12-29T11:08:00.005-05:00

If you know anything about me, you know that I have extensive experience working in and among law enforcement officials. As Director of Communications for the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, which produces an annual report on law enforcement fatalities, I followed very closely data and statistics pertaining to how many officers made the ultimate sacrifice.

Yes, we have heroes in our armed forces who in combat zones face considerable violence and risks. Sadly, as the NLEOMF report below indicates, our heroes in blue who "ensure domestic tranquility" also face considerable violence and risks. Whenever the media interviewed me about a fallen law enforcement colleague, I said "the death of even one law enforcement officer is too many."

We've got a long way to go to reduce to zero the number of law enforcement officers who die in the line of duty, but the NLEOMF's report below is promising.

* * *

2008 is ending as one of the safest years for U.S. law enforcement in decades. The number of officers killed in the line of duty fell sharply this year when compared with 2007, and officers killed by gunfire reached a 50-year low.

Based on analysis of preliminary data, the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund (NLEOMF) and Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.) found that 140 officers have died in the line of duty so far this year. That is 23 percent lower than the 2007 figure of 181, and represents one of the lowest years for officer fatalities since the mid-1960s.

This year's reduction includes a steep, 40 percent drop in the number of officers who were shot and killed, from 68 in 2007 to 41 in 2008. The last time firearms-related fatalities were this low was 1956, when there were 35 such deaths. The 2008 figure is 74 percent lower than the total for 1973, when a near-record high 156 law enforcement officers were shot and killed.

"2007 was a wake-up call for law enforcement in our country, and law enforcement executives, officers, associations and trainers clearly heeded the call, with a renewed emphasis on officer safety training, equipment and procedures," said NLEOMF Chairman and CEO Craig W. Floyd. "The reduction in firearms-related deaths is especially stunning, given the tremendous firepower possessed by so many criminals today. The fact that law enforcement has been able to drive down the crime rate, and do so with increased efficiency and safety, is a testament to the hard work and professionalism of our officers," Mr. Floyd added.

"Concerns of Police Survivors is pleased to see the reduction in officer deaths for 2008 and hope this is a trend we will see year after year. But we also know that for each of the surviving families and co-workers, their one officer is one too many," said C.O.P.S. National President Jennifer Thacker. "These families, co-workers and agencies are struggling to cope with life without their officer and will need support from C.O.P.S. before, during and long after National Police Week. C.O.P.S. will continue its efforts to provide life rebuilding support and resources for 2008 surviving families and affected co-workers, as well as past year survivors to help them rebuild their shattered lives. We will embrace these families and affected co-workers and assure them there is no fee to join C.O.P.S., for the price paid is already too high," she said.

In 2008, for the 11th year in a row, more law enforcement officers, 71, died in traffic-related incidents than from gunfire or any other single cause of death. Mirroring the nationwide drop in traffic fatalities among the general public this year, the number of officers killed in traffic incidents was down 14 percent from 2007. Last year, a record high 83 officers died on our roadways. Of this year's traffic-related fatalities, 44 officers died in automobile crashes, 10 died in motorcycles crashes and 17 were struck and killed by other vehicles.

Among other causes of death, 17 officers succumbed to job-related physical illnesses, three died in aircraft accidents, two were fatally stabbed, two died in bomb-related incidents, and one each was beaten to death, drowned, accidentally electrocuted and died in a train accident.

Fifteen of the officers killed this year were women, equaling the all-time high set in 2002. 2008 marked the first time that more than 10 percent of the officers who died in a year were female. Among all officers killed in 2008, the average age was 40 and the officers had served an average of 12 years in law enforcement.

Texas, for the second year in a row, experienced the most law enforcement officer fatalities, although the state's 2008 total of 14 was down from 22 in 2007. California had 12 officer fatalities, followed by Florida and Pennsylvania, with eight each. Four of the eight Pennsylvania officers to die this year were members of the Philadelphia Police Department, which experienced the most deaths of any agency. Thirty-five states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands lost officers in 2008. Eight officers serving with federal law enforcement agencies also died this year, down from 17 in 2007.

Mr. Floyd cited a number of reasons for the sharp decline in officer fatalities this year: 1) better training and equipment, plus a realization among officers that "every assignment is potentially life-threatening, no matter how routine or benign it might seem;" 2) increased use of less-lethal weaponry, including TASER stun guns, which allow officers to apprehend resisting violent offenders with less chance of assault or injury; 3) more officers wearing bullet-resistant vests-over the past 20 years, vests have saved more than 3,000 law enforcement lives; 4) a downturn in violent crime-the Department of Justice reported that violent crime is at its lowest level since 1973; and 5) a tougher criminal justice system, with a record 2.3 million offenders in correctional facilities nationwide.

The statistics released by the NLEOMF and C.O.P.S. are preliminary and do not represent a final or complete list of individual officers who will be added to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial in 2009. The report, "Law Enforcement Officer Deaths, Preliminary 2008 Report," is available at www.nleomf.org. For information on the programs that Concerns of Police Survivors offers to the surviving families of America's fallen law enforcement officers, visit www.nationalcops.org.

"Sorry my flawed ideology resulted in our plummeting economy"

2008-10-24T19:55:00.002-04:00

Imagine if you made a mistake on the order of magnitude to which the venerable Alan Greenspan admitted in his testimony earlier this week.

Imagine if you had the power (just for a day, even, to say nothing of the decades which Greenspan had) to lead our nation--our entire nation--down the primrose path to economic uncertainty (for all), economic turmoil (for many), and outright economic disaster (for a pitiable few).

For Keynesians like me, I'm glad Alan Greenspan lived long enough to get his comeuppance, and I'm happy I'm around to see it.

The Words You Use Matter... Use Them Judiciously.

2008-10-22T20:39:00.002-04:00

In the age of texting, IM'ing and rushed emailing, it seems vaguely contrarian to reiterate the sheer importance of the words we use in speaking and writing. The power of words and the subtle nuances they convey are extremely powerful. Both the words we use and the way we structure vocabulary within our spoken and written conversations reflect our intelligence, our depth of thought, our intellectual capacity, and our understanding of dialogue.

Words create impressions, images and expectations. They build psychological connections. They influence how we think. Since thoughts determine actions, there's a powerful connection between the words we use and the results we get.

Poorly chosen words can kill enthusiasm, impact self-esteem, lower expectations and hold people back. Well chosen ones can motivate, offer hope, create vision, impact thinking and alter results.

One of my bosses at MIT recently referred me to a study that sought to determine what
successful corporate leaders had in common in terms of education, life experiences,
family background, etc. The result seemed to indicate that there was no common
denominator except for an above-average vocabulary.

If you want to be respected and esteemed both in your profesional and personal lives, learn to harness your word power to work for, not against you. Learn and incorporate in your spoken and written dialogue words that create a compelling visual of your desired outcome.

Choose every word as if it matters, because every word you use reflects back on you.

Thoughts Before Yom Kippur 5769

2008-10-08T18:39:00.003-04:00

For on this day shall atonement be made for you, to cleanse you; from all your sins shall ye be clean before the LORD. - Leviticus 16:30

For those of you who don't know, Yom Kippur is the Jewish Day of Atonement, the holiest day in the Jewish faith. From the time the Kol Nidre prayer is recited this evening until the Shofar is sounded tomorrow night, Jews around the world will draw nearer to God through acts of atonement, fasting, and prayer.

Jewish tradition teaches that on Yom Kippur, God remembers every name, listens to every petition, and offers forgiveness to the repentant.

Jews are stubbornly optimistic (we have to be to have survived for so long!); we have faith that God will hear our collective pleas for forgiveness--punctuated by individual petitions--and respond favorably. We believe there's a plan and we're confident that God is good, His actions are good, His intentions positive.

That's an increasingly tenuous position to hold, given the world's precarious current financial and geo-political position. But still Jews around the world flock to synagogue, listen to the timeless Kol Nidre prayer, and beseech God to "inscribe us in the book of Life."

As a child growing up in an Orthodox synagogue, I looked at Yom Kippur with dread: An interminable day in temple, unfamiliar prayers, no candy from the candy guy, Harry Meyers.

Time and experience has thawed my dread of Yom Kippur to the point where I now look forward to it: I eagerly anticipate communing with my fellow Jews around the world, "meeting" with God, and the comforting liturgy that accompanies the expiation of sins. The fasting seems a small sacrifice indeed. The once-unfamiliar liturgy no longer intimidates; rather, it comforts and sustains me as the sun traces its inexorable path across the sky.

For one day I am truly detached from the world around me: No email, no voice mail, no meetings, no exercise. A "Sabbath of Sabbaths", set aside to take stock of my life and resolve to do better, be better, act better.

Tomorrow night as the gates of repentance close and the sun sets on another Yom Kippur, I hope that through the repentance, prayer and charity of Jews across the world, God chooses to make all our lives better. Tonight and tomorrow I'm not just praying for me and for my family, I'm praying for all of us.

On its own, mine is a small voice. But in chorus with Jews across the world, I hope our collective voices make a positive difference for all humanity.

Working With Smart People Makes a Big Difference

2008-09-28T18:15:00.004-04:00

We see this phenomenon all the time: In athletics, in business, in any competitive endeavor. Working with people who are more talented than you always motivates you to raise your performance. Conversely, working with people who are less talented than you allows you to be complacent, lazy, to not perform at your highest level.

Now that I've worked at MIT for just one week, this notion has become crystal clear. Comparing the business acumen, management skills, intellectual ability and integrity of the managers with whom I worked in several of my previous positions against those of my current supervisors, it's obvious why some organizations succeed and others founder.

Good leadership, intelligence and integrity always lead to success. Poor leaders and managers focus on their own egos and seek to aggrandize themselves at the cost of the success of the organizations they lead.

They fool themselves into believing that the choices they make are the best for their respective organizations. They may listen to others but believe so fervently in their infallibility that they callously dismiss opinions from staff that may very well help their organizations.

When you work with talented leaders who motivate and inspire you to raise your performance, you know your opinions will at least be considered seriously, if not adopted--for the good of the organization. That's the type of environment in which I currently work, and boy, did I miss it.

Guest Submission to Pinkribbonreview.com: If You Like Wine and You Want to Contribute to Breast Cancer Research, Read On!

2008-09-19T08:44:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago I responded to a query on Profnet from Karen Lynch, who writes the blog, Pinkribbonreview.com. Karen's blog is devoted to raising breast cancer awareness; she covers a range of topics in this regard.

I offered to contribute a submission on a product available through Riedel, the famous wine glass maker. She graciously accepted.

If you're interested in wine and want to help raise awareness of breast cancer, please read the submission.

Avis Tries Harder: To Get Your Money!

2008-09-18T18:11:00.001-04:00

As a marketing communications pro, I'm rarely surprised by some of the ingenious and insidious ploys my fellow marketers adopt to separate you from your money. Many marketers I know conceive and implement elaborate and often successful schemes to do so, disparagingly viewing their "target audiences" as "marks" and propagating the old saying, "a fool and his money are easily parted."

This weekend--courtesy of Avis Rent a Car--I was exposed to a clever new ploy. I know it's effective because I saw it work on three of the four people in line ahead of me. Rather than rely solely on personal observations, I called Avis to corroborate the anecdotal "evidence." Probably on the advice of counsel, Avis neither confirmed nor denied that they've instructed their agents to act in accordance with this aggressive up-selling scheme.

Here's how it works:

Avis (and other rental car companies) are losing market share to name-your-own-price clearinghouses like Priceline. Instead of cutting their prices to meet the threat, however, they're adapting their sales techniques.

The agents at the desk know when you've reserved your car on Priceline. They offer you an upgraded car for "just $4 or $8 or $10 a day." If you're on business, they blithely inform you that you can expense it. If you're on vacation, they say, "you deserve it."

Smartly, they aggressively pitch you an upgrade from which they--not Priceline--get the full amount. They don't have to share it with Priceline because the amount gets charged directly to your credit card. By quoting a small amount per day, they distract your attention from the bottom line and appeal to your perceived needs. For really effective agents--like the one I encountered at the Palm Beach Airport--it's an easy sell.

I'm not against Avis--or anyone, for that matter--trying to make an extra buck or two. From a purely professional standpoint, I admire and appreciate the way Avis has adapted to the Priceline 'threat'.

Personally, however, it seems a bit slimey.

When It Comes to Your Life, "Think Inside the Box"

2008-09-16T09:31:00.004-04:00

Mass layoffs on Wall Street... Hurricanes pounding Florida, Louisiana and Texas... Earthquakes in China and Iran... In all the coverage--still photography and video--we see haggard and harried people toting boxes with their most prized possessions inside. They've managed to place in a box the items most important to them.

They've thought "inside the box."

We all know the popularity of the phrase to "think outside the box." In business this cliche is meant to exhort people to adopt innovative, creative and unorthodox approaches to overcoming challenges. Like many sayings borne in business, the phrase has migrated into our personal lives with the same definition.

What if we have it wrong? What if the best solutions to professional and/or personal problems are those items which during a genuine crisis we put "inside the box"?

When we leave a place--whether by choice or circumstances--we put our stuff in a box and depart. The stuff in this case are material goods--photos of loved ones, diplomas, certificates, prized books, items of sentimental value. In a microcosmic way, the stuff we take tells the story of who we are, where we've been, what we do, whom we love. The stuff we take inside our box defines us.

"Thinking inside the box" allows us to tap the deep wellspring of our personal and professional experiences and skills. Rather than "think outside the box", we look inside ourselves for creative, innovative and unorthodox solutions to challenges. The items in our box help us overcome these challenges.

As we've seen from what refugees of natural and man-made crises carry, "thinking inside the box" forces us to prioritize those items (tangible or not) that are most important and meaningful to us.

So next time you're confronted with a professional or personal challenge, disregard the ubiquitous calls to "think outside the box." Instead, think inside the box.

A Little Doggerel About My Job Search

2008-09-08T21:15:00.004-04:00

I subscribe to a service called ProfNet, which throughout the day sends feeds of media inquiries from reporters who require sources for their stories. Today an inquiry came through from a reporter asking about PR pros who've been in job search mode.

That describes me--along with probably a lot of other PR pros. To distinguish my response to the inquiry from the myriad others that the reporter most likely received, I parsed my response in the form of a rough doggerel. You see, in my experience, creativity tends to stand out. It's memorable and shows I've devoted time to thinking about and crafting a response.

And it's fun. So I hope you enjoy my little poem.

There once was a PR pro named Bruce,
Whose earned media was on Nexis, Google and Luce.
He moved from D.C. to Mass
Where his career ran temporarily out of gas.

Despite great paper and recommendations
his job search has been 20 months of frustrations.
While working freelance as The Hired Pen,
he got rejected again and again.

From networking to recruiters,
He turned up few potential suitors.
So for Bruce the PR pro,
the prospects continue, sadly, to be slow.

Blog Today, Gone Tomorrow

2008-09-02T16:53:00.002-04:00

I've been on a blogabbatical because I truly believe there are so many blogs out there, who'd want to read mine? Instead, I've been researching where I've been quoted in others' blogs.

One of my favorite references is from Pete Johnson's "The Nerd Guru" blog. A few months ago on LinkedIn I responded to a question about what I felt was the most overused business phrase. I took a few moments to compose my response (see below). It apparently tickled Pete's fancy, because he quoted it in his blog: http://blog.nerdguru.net/2008/05/most-annoying-business-phrase.html

I truly believe words are precious. With so many communications vehicles available to us, we no longer take the time to choose our words carefully. While Pete's question provoked a lot of hilarious responses, the underlying theme is alarming: People just arbitrarily and capriciously vomit words without saying anything.

Which is why more than ever business leaders and owners need savvy communicators to carefully and concisely convey their key points.

D'Ohlympics: Placating China is Not The Right Course of Action!

2008-08-07T10:40:00.003-04:00

It is deplorable to witness the depths to which the U.S. Olympic Committee (USOC) will descend to please the Chinese government and its Olympic organizers.

One day after China revoked former Olympic speedskater Joey Cheek's visa, obviously for his role in founding Team Darfur, an organization which seeks to call attention to China's role in the conflict in Darfur, the USOC forced four Olympic cyclists to beg China for forgiveness for embarrassing the Chinese by wearing pollution-cutting masks when they arrived in Beijing... A city that by any measure ranks among the world's worst for clean air.

The USOC, the Bush Administration, and corporate America's tacit complicity in China's repression of human rights at home and abroad as well as its blatant disregard for the environment will make it difficult for this patriotic sports fan to watch these Olympic Games.

The true shame is not on the four cyclists who were merely trying to protect their health prior to competing for Olympic fame and fortune, but rather on those who have tarnished the Olympic ideal by kowtowing to the malevolent Chinese Olympic organizers and the country's duplicitous government leadership.

If You're Down on America, Visit Gettysburg

2008-07-26T15:39:00.009-04:00

Gettysburg: Where 165,000 soldiers fought for their beliefs... Where Abraham Lincoln helped to mend a torn nation with his powerfully concise Gettysburg Address... Where millions have stood to reflect on the national and international importance of the events that happened on this hallowed ground. Since the smoke cleared from the battlefield in 1863, Gettysburg has been a must-see for all Americans.

If you're feeling down on America--thinking we've lost our purpose, that the world no longer respects us--a visit to Gettysburg will replenish your faith in our country and refresh your patriotism. Standing at the summit of Little Round Top, you cannot appreciating the sacrifices our fellow citizens made to preserve the Union.

Touring the battlefield at Gettysburg is a moving experience. Most people visit for a day, but the three-day battle requires more time. To grasp fully the strategic and tactical implications of Gettysburg, which took place July 1, 2 and 3, 1863, you'll want to devote almost as much time (2.5 - 3 days) to touring the battlefield and the town.

If you're planning a visit to Gettysburg, your best bet is to prepare ahead. Watch the movie Gettysburg based on the book by Michael Shaara. To place the battle within the political tempest of the Civil War, read James M. McPherson's seminal work, Battle Cry of Freedom. A little preparation will enhance your visit to Gettysburg.

Once you arrive in town, start your visit at the new Museum and Visitors Center at Gettysburg National Battlefield. This premier facility opened just two months ago and has thankfully replaced the old "Cyclorama". Watch the 22-minute film, "A New Birth of Freedom," narrated by Morgan Freeman. Devote three hours to tour the Museum and Visitors Center, which leads you through the battlefield and its aftermath.

Grab lunch at Olivia's--it's a little out of the way but the food is great and the service excellent.

In the afternoon, take a battlefield bus tour (take advantage of the discount available at the Visitors Center: Buy your movie ticket and bus tour at the same time). Make sure you get on a tour with a real, live guide. Some tours are canned audio; the licensed battlefield guides are highly knowledgeable and engaging. The tour takes about two hours; you'll begin and end at the Battlefield Bus Tour center in the middle of town.

Pass on the "Package Plans": After you've toured the Visitors Center the side attractions seem hokey and old-fashioned. Invest the money you save in either a ghost tour of town or a horseback ride tour of the battlefield (more on those below).

Return to your hotel for a rest--it's expensive to stay in town but there are a lot of options. Choose a hotel with a pool so you can have a quick and refreshing dip before your evening activities. I recommend dinner at the Appalachian Brewing Company on Buford Avenue. This restaurant is right near Lee's HQ and across from Seminary Ridge. After dinner, as the sun sets, walk through the Seminary--look to the West and you'll see the fields the Confederates crossed on days one and two.

In the evening, if you're not too worn out, sign up for a ghost tour of Gettysburg. Many people aren't aware that the town of Gettysburg was the scene of fierce urban combat, as the routed Union forces retreated on day one through the town to a defensive position on Cemetery Ridge.

The ghost tours recount brutal house-to-house fighting, along with grisly stories of civilian houses turned into makeshift hospitals where Confederate and Union wounded lay side by side. The town is apparently pretty haunted but the only ghosts I encountered were those left in my wallet. Nevertheless, the ghost tours provide an excellent perspective on the fighting in town, as well as the rudimentary and brutal medical care given to the wounded.

In my next entry, I'll share with you what you should do on Day Two of your trip to Gettysburg.

Don't Let the Naysayers Deter You: Smart Business Owners Know that NOW is the Time to Strike!

2008-07-20T21:26:00.003-04:00

Because I have a few clients who have taken to heart my advice that challenging business conditions actually present economic opportunity, I've become a bit of an expert on how savvy businesses can actually gain market share during these dynamic times.

See below for excerpts from the Worcester Telegram and Gazette and the Chicago Daily Herald in which I have been quoted for my expertise in this particular area.

Rather than choose the traditional (and cowardly) path of cutting their marketing, communications and sales staff and budgets, some of my savvier clients are working with me on campaigns that simultaneously expand their market share and strengthen relationships with their current clients.

One of our campaigns involves distributing gas and "food" bonus credit cards (or gift certificates) when customers make certain purchases, achieve certain spending (or visitation) benchmarks, and/or refer new customers.

These initiatives have been extraordinarily successful because they're what marketing guru Seth Godin refers to as "genuine". These initiatives convey the sense that "I feel your pain" and I am going to help you during these tough times. These initiatives afford businesses a rare and unique opportunity to connect emotionally with consumers when consumers are looking for emotional connections from increasingly distant (and seemingly contracting) businesses.

Businesses that lay off their marketing and communications staff and cut their advertising and promotional budgets are cutting their proverbial noses in spite of their faces. NOW is the time to be aggressive. Your aggression today will establish and strengthen enduring relationships with customers who will stay with you when the economy improves.

Overlook the power of the emotional connection and you will continue to lose market share. Now more than ever you need to find ways to connect with your customers. When you do, you'll set yourself up for success when the economy bounces back.

Worcester Telegram & Gazette (July 20)
http://www.telegram.com/article/20080720/NEWS/807200340/1002/BUSINESS
... Such is the power of gas promotions. As average gas prices in Massachusetts hover above $4 a gallon, an array of stores, employers and charitable organizations are offering free or discounted gasoline to attract consumers. Grocery shoppers are building up points on store loyalty cards and then redeeming the points for discounts at gas stations. Those who take certain jobs or donate blood are winning gas gift cards. Some churches are even holding drawings among parishioners for gas gift cards.

The promotions aim to attract new consumers, reward existing consumers and shine a bit of light on entities that want to be seen as sympathetic and compassionate, according to marketing experts.

It can seem counterintuitive to step up promotions when times are tough, but those who do so can capture consumers who remain loyal when things improve, said Bruce R. Mendelsohn, principal of The Hired Pen, a marketing communications firm in Worcester.

“You have an opportunity to steal customers from your competitors by offering them an incentive that shows you care about the issues that are affecting them,” said Mr. Mendelsohn, who has clients that are offering gas promotions.

Chicago Daily Herald (June 16)
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=209104&src=4

Bruce Mendelsohn, Principal of The Hired Pen, a communications consultancy in Worcester, MA, notes that "substantial anecdotal evidence" indicates the more scarce the resource, the more likely companies are to use it in marketing and promotional campaigns. This is especially evident when the resource ties into the company's line of business, Mendelsohn said.

"We think it's another example of the incredibly creative ways some businesses are adapting to challenging economic circumstances," he said. "As market researchers, we're always studying and evaluating consumer behavior; we're curious to discover how successful businesses will be by using gasoline as a marketing and/or promotional tool."

Using gasoline in a contest or promotion isn't unique. Similar contests, although not as sophisticated, happened during the oil embargo in the 1970s.

On alternate rationing days, some companies conducted "Are you odd?" or "Are you even?" campaigns, seeking to draw consumers to their respective stores, Mendelsohn said.

"While there's no doubt the exponentially increasing gas prices are depleting consumers' wallets, businesses that find ways to relieve the pressure on consumers are certain to be viewed favorably by consumers and generate some media attention," Mendelsohn said.

Finding Friends... and Hope in Sad Cities Like Scranton, PA and Worcester, MA

2008-07-19T15:37:00.007-04:00

While on a week-long roadtrip through Pennsylvania, the wife and I stopped in Scranton for a night to visit friends. The parallels between Scranton and Worcester are unmistakable: Both are once prominent and wealthy towns that have over the past 100 years fallen upon hard times. Now they struggle to regain relevance in an economy that has over time made each town and their respective and once vital industries obsolete and irrelevant.

Worcester's heyday was more than a century ago, when the mills generated millions of dollars for industrialists and the town attracted world-class cultural institutions and world-famous visitors. Scranton's history--built on turn of the century coal, textile mills and railroad profits--is similar.

Driving into towns like Scranton and Worcester is depressing: The roads are generally in poor shape; the once-proud houses are uniformly dilapidated; the formerly bustling downtown shopping districts are filled with boarded-up stores and populated by vagrants or aimlessly wandering people.

But yet... Peel back the shabby veneer of these depressing and depressed towns and you find underneath neighborhoods filled with families and professionals who refute the reports of the demise of their respective towns. They believe fervently in the vitality of their hometowns and preach it to visiting skeptics.

They point to the reconstruction of Victorian houses, the influx of businesses, the new grocery store down the street, the infusion of Federal, state and local grant monies that will restore "their" hometown to its previous glory days. Their enthusiasm is infectious; their loyalty impressive; their civic pride remarkable.

Being from D.C., I used to malign dirty old towns like Worcester and Scranton. Like others from more prominent and wealthy cities, including members of my own family, I looked down on these towns.

But as I've gotten to know people from towns like Worcester, and during my brief time in Scranton, I've come to realize that their civic allegiance represents hope for the future. Hope is one of the most motivating emotions we have; with hope much is possible.

So I'd say despite the socio-economic challenges these once-prominent cities now confront, the hopes of their respective citizenry bodes well for their futures.

EP D'oh: The Tour de France Suffers from Cheaters and Abysmal PR

2008-07-17T15:35:00.000-04:00

In spite of an aggressive television advertising campaign by Versus... In spite of erudite and entertaining commentary from Paul Sherwin, Phil Liggett and Bob Roll... In spite of the absolutely breathtaking scenery as the peloton pedals its way through the beautiful French countryside... In spite of the legions of fans who line narrow, twisting mountain passes to catch a fleeting glimpse of their favorite rider...

... The Tour de France continues to suffer from cheaters and horrible public relations.

As it is, the only time most Americans pay attention to the Tour is when either an American dominates the event (see: Greg LeMond, Lance Armstrong) or when the news reports that an American is suspected of taking performance enhancing drugs to dominate the event (see: Lance Armstrong, Floyd Landis).

Given our winner-take-all culture, it's understandable that most Americans don't comprehend how, as my former father-in-law succinctly stated, "a guy can finish dead last in a stage and still win the whole race. It doesn't make any sense."

Besides, most Americans don't have the patience to watch a drama like the Tour de France unfold over three weeks. We want quick and decisive outcomes for the sports we follow.

But for those of us who appreciate the supreme level of fitness required to ride some 2,400 miles over varying terrain, in all types of weather, and to those of us familiar with bike racing, the Tour de France remains an irresistible event.

For many of the racers who compete in the Tour, the lure of winning (either a stage or the whole race) has since the inception of the Tour spurred ever-increasing sophistication in taking performance enhancing drugs that speed recovery, boost aerobic capacity, and stimulate muscle production. Blood doping has throughout the Tour's history for many riders proven irresistible (for an excellent description on blood doping in bike racing, check out http://bicycling.about.com/od/drugsdopinginprocycling/.htm)

When blood dopers get caught at the Tour de France, the PR fallout is toxic: Sirens, flashing lights, humiliated riders, photos of used syringes and obligatory comments from former pro riders lamenting the demise of purity in sport (as if when they were riding the Tour was clean).

Every time, the Tour organizers issue a predictably similar statement: "[Name of rider] from [name of team] tested positive for [name of performance enhancing drug]. He has been expelled from the Tour and the matter is now being handled by law enforcement authorities."

That's a typical lawyer's statement. And while there's nothing fundamentally wrong with a statement from a lawyer, these statements are generally formulaic. They lack emotion. They address facts and facts alone. The problem with these predictably formulaic statements is that they don't address the raw emotions surrounding the tour.

TdF fans are incredibly passionate about the riders they follow: Whether it's exhorting the Basque riders up the Pyrenees, cheering for breakaway French riders on Bastille Day, or waving an American flag in one of the four American riders, the Tour is an emotionally draining experience for fans.

For riders--both past and present--the Tour is physically and emotionally debilitating. The clean riders--and there are some, notably led by Slipstream Chipotle, an American team with a rigorous, self-imposed drug testing regimen--are justifiably furious at the dopers. The dopers must ride in constant fear of getting "randomly" tested. The sponsors--many of whom dropped their team sponsorships after last year's debacle--are angry that their brands are associated with cheaters. The commentators are upset at having to report yet another drug-related expulsion when the real action takes place on the roads.

There's a lot of emotion when a doping story breaks, and the lawyer's statements don't address the sense of betrayal, the anger, the frustration, shared by fans, clean riders, sponsors, commentators and cycling afficionados.

If I were handling PR for the Tour de France, I would formulate and distribute to team sponsors, managers, mechanics, riders, bus drivers, commentators--anyone who is even remotely affiliated with the Tour--the messages below. I would instruct them to repeat these messages to anyone who asks them about the Tour's policies regarding performance enhancing drugs.

1) "We fully oppose the use by anyone associated with professional cycling of performance enhancing drugs before, during and after the Tour de France. We will swiftly and to the full extent of French law prosecute any violations of this policy. Further, we will ban for life participation in the Tour de France by any professional cyclist proven to have taken performance enhancing drugs during the Tour de France."

2) "As part of our continuous efforts to eliminate the use of performance enhancing drugs during the Tour de France, we have adopted a rigorous drug testing regimen and policy (as follows). By riding in the Tour, all riders agree to participate in the efforts to keep the Tour clean."

3) "We apologize to fans and supporters of professional cycling for any violations of the Tour de France's drug testing policy. The lure of Tour de France fame and fortune is not sufficient motivation to violate the principles of sportsmanship upon which the Tour de France is based. We are embarrassed and our sport is ashamed when we find dopers--and we will find you. You and your team will be humiliated on the international stage."

4) "We understand professional cycling is both physically and emotionally draining--both for riders and for fans--and we appreciate the support of fans who, like us, want only to witness a clean race among drug-free riders. We strongly encourage followers of professional cycling--be they fans, team sponsors, event sponsors, former riders or amateur cyclists--to support those teams and athletes who ride drug-free."

Messages like these address the emotion surrounding the use of performance enhancing drugs and send an unmistakable message to those riders who risk getting caught with that crap in their systems. They also placate fans by telling them in no uncertain terms where Tour de France organizers stand on the use of performance enhancing drugs.

Who Let the Cat Out (Who, Who, Who)... Or, More Adventures with Pumpkin Pie.

2008-07-13T17:42:00.005-04:00

--A tale of Pumpkin Pie's attempt to regain her position as the only animal that sleeps with mommy.

As my loyal readers know, the wife is in California for two weeks, returning Monday night. During her absence I have been responsible for the proper care and feeding of the wife's cat, Pumpkin Pie. I have often stated my belief that Pumpkin Pie has a pea brain and is incapable of cognitive ability--certainly not sufficient intelligence to carry out the following nefarious plot.

Or... does she?

Today's adventure with Pumpkin Pie has compelled me to reexamine my analysis of the cat's brain. I think she wants to make me look like a terrible cat-sitter, and after you read this entry I'm confident you'll share my belief.

During the wife's absence, Pumpkin Pie and I have observed an uneasy truce: As long as I feed her, give her fresh cold water twice daily and occasionally change her litter box (see previous blog post to discover my feelings for that term), she has behaved herself moderately well: Only one hairball/throw-up and several litter box near-misses.

We've occupied the same space with a minimum of hostilities: Think North and South Korea and you'll have an accurate grasp on our relationship the past two weeks.

But to carry the North/South analogy one step further, today she crossed the DMZ in force. Quite honestly it's my own fault. I believe she saw an opportunity to make me look bad in the all-important eyes of mommy; thankfully her attempt was unsuccessful. If it had been, I might now be writing about my frantic search for a replacement cat.

Did I mention that Pumpkin Pie is not an outdoor cat? That's right, loyal readers: Pumpkin Pie is sans claws, sans shots, and sans any idea of how to survive in the big world beyond our deck.

This morning Pie shed the comforting confines of our humble abode and went off on a adventure. I left the house in a hurry at around 0730 to get to the Worcester JCC to teach spinning. After teaching from 0800 - 0900, I went to play soccer in Northboro for two hours. After that I went to West Boylston where I hooked up with my brother-in-law and his daughter to go swimming at the Holden Pool. I finally returned home at about 1500 (that's 3 p.m. to those of you unfamiliar with military time--it's easy, after noon just subtract 12).

I got out of the car and heard plaintive meowing. I looked up to the bathroom window--Pumpkin Pie's usual throne from which she surveys her kingdom. Not there. I looked at the kitchen window, where she perches when she wants to see the commoners at their level. Not there either.

I looked on the deck and saw a cat. I thought, "what's that stray cat doing on our deck? I've never seen that cat before." I looked closer and lo and behold it was Pumpkin Pie. She must have snuck out right behind me when I left this morning, darting between the closing screen door. And she must have stayed outside for seven hours: No food, no water, no shots, no clue.

Naturally I let her back in and she went immediately to the feed dish--but not after I swear she looked at me with utter and complete disdain: Like, "you're supposed to take care of me?! Hell, I snuck out for seven hours and you didn't even know. Wait 'til mommy finds out; she'll never feed you or clean out your litter box again. And then I shall reign supreme once more."

My first inclination was to thank God that Pie hadn't been eaten, run over, or any of the various misfortunes that can befall an unsuspecting animal (either two-legged or four-legged) in our cruel and unpredictable world.

But then I thought: Why did she come back? I mean, if she has a pea-sized brain, how did she know that this is her house? Was it actually smart of me to have in the past let her out to wander the deck?

And then I thought: What if this was a ploy to have the neighbors find her roaming outside? What if Pumpkin Pie planned her escape all along; waiting until the opportune moment struck in her bid to assert her eternal dominion over mommy's heart and affection? What if she's really not stupid, but calculating, shrewd, clever and incredibly vindictive?

Such are the musings of a misguided non cat person.

I wasn't going to tell the wife about how the cat got out and who let her out, but I know somehow if I didn't spill the beans Pumpkin Pie would. So for a change I demonstrated my superior human brain power and immediately called the wife. I told her the story because I didn't want Pumpkin Pie to seize the all-important public relations initiative.

The cat may have outsmarted me in escaping, but I'll be damned if she beats me at my own game.

Mommy comes home tomorrow night and I don't know who will be happier: Pumpkin Pie or me. Suffice it to say that given Pumpkin's recent walkabout, my adventures in cat-sitting are not soon to be repeated.

Five Ways You Can Discern Organizational Culture: Before You Take Your Next Job!

2008-07-11T17:33:00.005-04:00

For the thousands of you who read my blog (ok, maybe not thousands), you're aware of my interest in organizational culture. I've blogged about it several times. Because organizational culture is still looked at as the red-headed stepchild of the "harder" and generally more quantifiable aspects of management and leadership, most senior leaders overlook it in the hiring process.

In this blog you'll discover five ways you can discern organizational culture both as a employer and as a potential employee. If you're the former, your unbiased assessment of the following questions may reveal characteristics of your organization that you never knew; if you're the latter, getting concrete responses to these five issues will prevent you from taking a job in which you will clash with the prevailing organizational culture.

I've done it twice and the inevitable results are painful, both professionally and personally. By the time you're in an organization and you realize your professional attributes and personality clash with the prevailing culture, your bosses likely have arrived at that point long before you... And they'll sacrifice you at the altar of their organizational culture rather than change the culture.

It takes great courage and a long time to change organizational culture; most CEOs and COOs lack that courage (and the knowledge); in this challenging economic climate they certainly do not have the luxury of time. After all, it's far more convenient to get rid of the individual who doesn't fit the culture rather than change the culture.

And yet, with resources so precious, and so many resources devoted to finding, hiring and training employees who will positively contribute to the organization from day one, both employers and potential employees would be wise to take into account the following five ways to determine whether or not a potential employee is a "good fit" for the organization.

My academic background (I have a Master's in Systems Management [Organizational Behavior]) and practical experience dealing with the repercussions of not accurately reading organizational culture during interviews and in the early stages of new jobs (or projects), makes me I believe uniquely qualified to blog authoritatively about the importance of recognizing organizational culture.

1) “Bull in a China Shop”: A job seeker concerned with determining whether or not (and to what extent) he or she will fit into the target company’s organizational culture should understand two things: His/her personality (are they a “bull”?) and the decision making structure/system of the target organization (is it a "China shop"?).

Questions that may help determine this include:

a. What structure/system does the organization have in which I am supposed to do my job? Is the organizational hierarchy flat or steep?

b. How are internal conflicts handled? Ask for specific and recent examples. Note facial expressions, body language and the words used to describe those conflicts. Conflict resolution reveals much about organizational culture.

2) Pre-evaluate your prospective boss: You're going to spend a lot of time working with and answering to your boss. Just as professional sports teams intensively evaluate their top draft choices, so must you carefully evaluate your prospective boss. What can you find out in a one or two hour interview?

Here are some questions you should ask. Be sure to ask these of both your boss and your boss’ superiors and subordinates.

a. Is the boss passionate/motivated about the work/the organization? How is that passion/motivation reflected?

b. Does the boss bring an infectious sense of energy and teamwork to the department/team? How responsive is the boss (by email, in person, voicemail, etc.)?

c. Does the boss motivate, inspire and educate? Is he/she affable or aloof? Does he/she micromanage? What is his/her management style, and what specific examples can you use to describe how the boss manifests that style?

3) The organization's decision making process: How an organization makes decisions reveals much about the character of relationships and flow of work in the organization. To understand how the target organization makes decisions, ask the following questions:

a. How many levels does one have to go through to get decisions?

b. How are decisions made on a new initiative? Is it death by committee, "ready-fire-aim" or something in between? Before you get the answers, you should know the decision making process that best suits your personality. Conflicting decision making styles are a leading reason why employer-employee relationships turn bad.

c. How does the organization green light new initiatives? Ask for specific and recent examples.

4) Organizational responsiveness: When opportunities present themselves, is the target organization quick to seize opportunities or slow to react? Is it a slow-footed or a fast-footed culture? Most non-profit organizations and associations are the former; most newer companies and start-ups are the latter.

If you thrive in a dynamic, unpredictable environment; if you make decisions based on 60% fact and 40% instinct; if the machinations of Boards of Directors and Committees cause you to grind your teeth, save yourself a lot of professional and personal angst: Don't take a job at a non-profit or an association.

5) Notice little indicators of organizational behavior: It's true that the devil is in the details. An important part of organizational culture is organizational behavior. As you walk through the hallways for your next interview, note how most staff dress. At the most senior levels, note especially how your boss dresses: Is he/she fastidious, vain, slovenly, well-groomed?

Always ask to go to the bathroom. Is it clean? Besides giving you a little break from your interview schedule, use the time you're unescorted to look subtly at the common areas of the organization. Are they clean? Do they appear used? Do people congregate in the common areas? Are voices subdued or excited? Lots of movement generally indicates lots of activity and interaction.

a. Is it a cube world or an office world? If the former, are the cubes personalized? Are there pictures of family/pets/etc.? If the latter, are doors open? Is there a lot of traffic in the hallways, break rooms, etc. Do people appear to like each other, or do they pass in the hallways without saying hello?

As a potential employee, ask these questions and you'll get concrete answers upon which to base your decision. As an employer, try to see these issues from the perspective of your potential new employee. Set aside your ego and truly examine your organizational culture. You may find the results of your examination reveal flaws--or strengths--about which you were not previously aware.

Employers, don't make the mistake of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. The candidate you love on paper may not fit your organizational culture, and everyone will suffer when the inevitable clash comes.

Employees, carefully and diligently seek answers to the five aforementioned issues. Ask the tough questions in your interviews. Do your career and your ego a favor: Understand the organization's culture and assess whether or not you'll fit.

I Am Living in a Dali Painting

2008-07-08T22:35:00.003-04:00

Suffice it to say, the recent heat wave that has hit New England reminds me of those halcyon DC summers, when it gets so hot that people simply start melting: They melt into air conditioned offices, air conditioned cars, theatres, restaurants, even the metro, whose mostly underground stations offer shelter from the relentless sun and suffocating humidity.

When it gets this hot, your personal thermostat loses its frame of reference. It's so hot outside, it's like we're in Indonesia. I keep on waiting for Sukarno to come walking down the street, clad in flip-flops with a towel around his head.

In weather like this I particularly enjoy when people ask by way of making conversation, "hot enough for you?"

To which I respond: "Hot? I didn't notice that it is hot." They look at me like I wouldn't notice if my hair were on fire.

I mean, it's so hot the clocks are melting off the wall. I feel like I'm living in a Dali painting.

Put Your Life in Perspective: Skydive

2008-07-07T13:27:00.005-04:00

To celebrate my recent birthday, I bought myself the present of a tandem skydive. Adverse weather conditions prevented me from going on my birthday, so I rescheduled for yesterday. Rescheduling actually proved fortuitous, since I have been enduring a bit of a rough spot professionally (it seems my former employer did not value my marketing and communications prowess as much as my previous employers)...

Ironically, the remedy for my professional malaise was jumping out of a perfectly good plane and free fall plummeting for 30 seconds to the big green rock. When falling from great heights, I was thankful simply that the chute opened and I landed on two feet. My job, my financial situation, my worldly concerns seemed by comparison petty and insignificant.

Truth be told, I liked that feeling. It reminded me of the last three or four miles of a marathon, when I'm focused relentlessly and solely on finishing the run: Everything else seems at the time unimportant. I like being focused completely on one thing: In this case, it was reaching earth without a splat.

From Airborne School, I remembered that the merest hesitation is standing in the door, looking at the clouds and the earth below and wondering--for that split second--at the insanity of it all. My instructor also played a little trick on me; he said we were going to exit on three but we actually went on two. I remember that, and I remember the back flip we did before he deployed the drogue chute to slow us down during free fall.

Free falling was a unparalleled adrenaline rush. The only comparisons from my life I can draw are the feeling of jumping off a 30 foot cliff while skiing in the Dolomites or descending a Cat-5 rapid. Being in a tandem afforded me the luxury of looking around and taking it all in--that is, while I was trying to catch my breath.

After my instructor--Muppet (a self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie and full-time skydiver with more than 5,600 falls)--deployed the main chute, we enjoyed about five minutes of gracefully gliding to the big green rock below. Nothing like feeling terra firma under my feet to provide perspective on my life's situation. Given how many things can go wrong during a skydive, landing successfully made me thankful for my many blessings.

Feline Frisson... Or, Adventures with a Mischievous and Misanthropic Maine Coon

2008-07-04T14:38:00.004-04:00

This entry opens with a statement that may alienate the world's passionate cat lovers: I am not a cat person. I know this because my wife has left me for two weeks with her Maine Coon cat, Pumpkin Pie. Deliberate emphasis on her.

Pumpkin Pie is my wife's cat, pure and simple. She is not my cat. I don't like cats. In general, I find cats haughty, fickle, calculating and maddeningly ego-centric. I understand this ascribes human personality traits to an animal whose mental capacities are incapable of manifesting such behavior, but having no other frame of reference I must rely on my observations.

My wife--God bless her--rescued Pumpkin Pie from a shelter, days before she (that is, the cat) was to be euthanized. I suspect the shelter people say that to every sad sack who wanders in, oohing and aahing over a sweet little kitty cat.

So in the beginning there was Pumpkin Pie. She lived with my wife well before I entered the picture, and I swear she (that is, the cat) has resented my presence ever since.

I inherited Pumpkin Pie in the marriage deal--which is pretty fair, since my wife inherited my daughter. The wife loves the cat and the cat--when it suits her (generally during mealtime) loves the wife right back. I have photos of the cat sleeping on my wife's head. It's really cute. The cat never sleeps on my head--I suspect she's an anti-baldite.

Since the wife left for two weeks in California, Pumpkin Pie has not been at all cute. After four days alone together, I'm willing to bet that Pumpkin Pie--if she could form a coherent thought in her pea-sized brain--is saying to herself, "I am not a man person."

I think she is deliberately trying to sabotage my relationship with my wife, who instructed me in no uncertain terms to in her absence value the cat's needs over my own.

In just four days, Pumpkin Pie has:
* Left hairballs in my chair
* Defecated alongside her litter box--right after I cleaned it!
* Scampered on the kitchen table, knocking over candles and other fragile objects
* Overturned her water bowl
* Scampered (for reasons unknown) across my bed at 2 a.m. for three consecutive nights (always at 2 a.m., like she knows what time it is--I tell you, it's eerie)

I spoke with a few cat people I know (one must befriend the enemy to gain insight regarding the enemy's behavior)and they said it's because Pumpkin Pie misses her mommy. She knows something isn't right in her world so she's acting out.

Acting out?! Let me get this straight: Cats have pea-sized brains, it's unfair to ascribe human behaviors to them because of their pea-sized brains, yet the cat is acting out? Maybe I should send the cat to intensive therapy for the next 10 days.

Pumpkin Pie and I have a truce going, though: When I am upstairs, she is downstairs. When I venture downstairs, she moves upstairs. We pass on the stairs, eyeing each other warily. The stairs have become our DMZ.

As long as I feed and hydrate her, as long as I clean out her litter box (Aside: litter? It's not litter. It's defecation and urination. I mean, I'm in PR but really, calling it "litter" is too much), and as long as I give her some treats I think she will not claw out my eyes while I sleep.

Here's the irony, though: This afternoon while I was watching TV, Pumpkin Pie jumped into my lap (she NEVER does this with the wife) and sat there for about 20 minutes while I scratched her behind her ears and rubbed her tummy. I understand from cat people that when a cat allows you to rub her tummy that means she's comfortable around you.

I suspect Pumpkin Pie is trying to lull me into a false sense of security and resolve to remain vigilant--especially at night when she has the run of the house...

More on Generation 'I': Are They Getting the Message to Succeed at Any Cost?

2008-07-03T20:06:00.006-04:00

Here are some facts that will set the background for this blog entry, which deals with "Generation I" and the message we as a society may be sending them:

Last week the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia awarded the Graduate Management Admission Council (GMAC) $2.3 million damages in a copyright infringement case GMAC brought against Lei Shi and other operators of the U.S.-based web site known as Scoretop.com.

Scoretop.com sold VIP access for $30 a month and gave users previews of questions on the latest GMAT (Graduate Management Admission Test)--including some answers posted by users after taking the exam. In the award, GMAC got access to the hard drives listing Scoretop.com's clients; a GMAC spokesperson said that prospective and current graduate students who may have used Scoretop.com to cheat on about 6,000 entrance examinations over the past five years could have their scores thrown out.

When it comes to getting into "the best" schools, standardized test scores make the most difference. The competition to get into "the best" schools obviously spurred a small group of test takers to gain a competitive advantage by cheating.

What possessed the cheaters to believe that cheating was acceptable? Perhaps in cheating they merely reflected the lessons we've taught them. In a era when success--defined as degrees from "the best" schools, living in the biggest house, driving the flashiest car, etc.--is prized above all else, traditionally accepted morals and ethics seem sadly obsolete.

To support this theory, I turned to a book I read several years ago, A Tribe Apart, written by Patricia Hersch.

Hersch writes: "In times when society lacks clear ethical guidelines, when parents neither spend the time to educate their children about time-honored values such as honesty, integrity, and personal responsibility nor necessarily model consistent values in their own lives, kids are responding to the one message they hear loud and strong from the adult world: Succeed. Do well. Do whatever you need to do."

If success means knowingly cheating on a standardized test or if it means deliberately cutting corners, are today's kids learning these lessons from us? To what extent are we to blame for the relentless pursuit of success that would prompt adult children (the average age of GMAT test takers is 21) to cheat on the exam?

If we are (as I believe) partially to blame for the astounding erosion in the time-honored values to which Hersch refers above, what can we do to reverse this alarming sense of entitlement and moral turpitude?

For a possible answer, I turned to another book I read a few years ago, For Shame: The Loss of Decency in American Culture, by James B. Twitchell.

Twitchell writes: "We've got to restore a sense of shame to our society. Nothing seems to shame us or outrage us anymore. We look at our television sets and see all kinds of trash, and we allow it to come into our homes. We're not ashamed of it anymore."

General Colin Powell--an erudite, well spoken and highly experienced soldier and stateman--would advise the cheaters thusly: "There are no secrets to success: Don't waste time looking for them. Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for whom you work, and persistence."

There's no doubt that cheating conveys a competitive advantage which could very well lead to fiduciary benefits. But in the final analysis, there is a spiritual cost to that fleeting fiduciary benefit.

Twitchell comments on that spiritual cost and its influence on society: "A society that ignores or opposes a set of core standards that motivates people to work, stay married, exercise self control, and be honest exhibits a poverty of the spirit that no amount of money can enrich."

The message we may be sending Generation I--to succeed at any cost--could well be eroding the fabric of our very society.

Leave the Marketing and Communications Work to the Professionals

2008-07-02T21:11:00.005-04:00

Both as a freelance communications consultant and as a full-time Communications Director, I've worked with and for people who believe they can market and communicate as well as I can. The further up the leadership food chain I progress, the more ingrained I have found this belief to be.

This is particularly true with non-profit organizations and associations (such as the one I just left): The leaders shortsightedly think they'll save money by cutting marketing and communications staff and "doing it themselves."

While it is generally true that most senior leaders understand the basic fundamentals of marketing and communications, they don't understand the subtle nuances that often make the difference between successful marketing and communications efforts and those that merely cause the organization to run in place.

Even worse, the often prodigious egos possessed by leaders in smaller organizations or associations as well as entrepreneurs convince them that they can, in fact, plan, implement, manage and analyze effective marketing and communications initiatives.

In my experience, their attempts fail miserably: They do a disservice to their organization or their association and, when they end up hiring a new communications professional, the new arrival has to work even harder to make up the communications deficit.

CEOs and COOs don't involve themselves every day in the subtle nuances of marketing and communications. They don't grasp how dynamic marketing and communications are; they don't understand how traditional and nontraditional approaches work together to create the vital synergy necessary to achieve marketing and communications goals with limited resources. In most cases they fall back on their old, obsolete knowledge.

I see it happening now with my former employer. It's a shame because it squanders the progress we made over the past seven months to create a immediately recognizable brand for the association, to formulate and communicate compelling collateral which conveys the association's unique value, and to establish a strong foundation upon which to conduct effective and long-term public relations.

Effective marketing and communications demands constant attention and nurturing by marketing and communications pros, not by neophytes who regard these vital activities as merely another additional duty among many additional duties.

Sure, they'll put their best efforts into the activities but their efforts will fall short because they simply lack the skills and knowledge to do so effectively.

Smart leaders leave the marketing and communications work to the professionals.

They're Calling it Generation I: But Does The 'I' Stand for "Internet" or "Id"?!

2008-06-23T14:15:00.003-04:00

Last you heard from me I was happily typing away at the Fort Lauderdale Airport, awaiting my flight to Providence. We finally boarded the plane three hours late, and by that point the young kids who'd been waiting in the terminal for more than four hours were either fast asleep or in the beginning stages of Category Five meltdowns (those of you who are parents are familiar with Cat V meltdowns; those of you who are not, I'd advise witnessing one in real time as the most effective form of birth control).

We board without problems; everyone finds a seat. In my general vicinity is apparently a family of seven: Two sets of grandparents, a mother, a father, and what appears to be a four or five year old boy. Everyone's attention is focused on the boy: What he's doing (bouncing up and down in his seat--which thankfully is not in front of mine); what he's eating (cheerios, apparently, as one lands in my lap from his flinging them about the cabin); and what he's saying (as far as I can tell--and I am conversant in toddler talk--he's screeching about Elmo).

The grandparents and the parents are doing nothing to stop the kid from bouncing, flinging O's and screeching about Elmo. In fact, they're doting on him, which serves to encourage him to bigger bounces, more vigorous O-throwing, and louder screeches. Of course, the bouncing stops when he hits his head on the bulkhead and starts wailing at the top of his lungs.

This, my friends, is a classic Cat V Meltdown. The mother--seated by the window in my row--calms him down a bit by plugging him into a DVD. But the DVD was merely the eye of the storm. The brat isn't done--no, not by a long shot. He refuses to wear the headphones. The grandparents and the parents transfer the kid from lap to lap, trying without success to get him to put on the earphones.

They give up and decide that rather than insist the child put on the earphones or not watch the DVD, they'll subject the entire area to the Elmo DVD. Mind you, this is after a three+ hour delay and on a full plane flying through turbulence.

My questions:
* Since when is a four-year-old brat in charge of SIX ADULTS?
* Since when does a four-year-old brat have the ability to hold a plane hostage?
* Since when has it become acceptable for adults to subsume the needs and desires of a community to the needs of a spoiled child?

While I understand it may be easier to rely on the indulgence and understanding of strangers rather than risk another catastrophic meltdown, the scenario perfectly explains why the kids of Generation I are growing up to believe that everything centers around their needs and desires.

Rather than describe them as Generation I (as in Internet--that is, the first generation that has grown up fully integrated with the web), perhaps we may want to call them Generation Id--as in, the generation reared to believe that it's ok to be ruled by your id.

The id, you'll recall, is responsible for basic drives such as food, sex, and aggressive impulses. It is amoral and egocentric, ruled by the pleasure–pain principle; it is without a sense of time, completely illogical, primarily sexual, infantile in its emotional development, and will not take "no" for an answer.

I am not a perfect parent. I'm probably average. But I can damn for sure tell you that my daughter would either have worn the earphones or not listened to the DVD. Discovering that the world does not revolve around him or her is one of the earliest and most profound lessons a child learns--withhold the lesson and you render the child a disservice. You foster the Id and indulge the I.

Overheard at Fort Lauderdale Airport...

2008-06-22T17:42:00.002-04:00

It's absolutely amazing what you hear when the weather halts airline flights. I'm sitting alongside the status boards at Fort Lauderdale airport, awaiting my flight to Providence. The flight is already three hours late, but a command performance moments ago by a Southwest gate attendant put everything in perspective for me. Too bad the irate flyers didn't hear it.

She gets on the gate microphone and says, "Well folks, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

Thereupon in gate-land a collective grown arose, audible throughout the packed hallway. After the groan, the gate attendant said, "Here's the bad news: In addition to the weather delay, the plane at the gate is broken. So we won't be taking off for a long while."

The groan grew to a growl. From the crowd, the question is fired like a bullet: "What's the good news?!"

To which she responds, brightly, "The good news is, we're on the ground."

And that, my dear friends, has put this entire delay in perfect perspective for me.

Still, I have to wonder: Why is it that we can put a man on the moon, we can fly unmanned drones from thousands of miles away, and we can't fly in bad weather?

As Quoted in the Chicago Daily Herald:

2008-06-18T14:18:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I received an email inquiry from Anna Marie Kukec; she asked me to comment on a "free gas" promotion going on in a Chicago suburb. Her query was interesting from two perspectives:

1) Generally the Market Research Association doesn't field these types of queries (we respond mostly to "pure" market research or polling/surveying questions)
2) It conveyed to me the simple point that inasmuch as PR folks are encouraged to research and become familiar with the "beat" of the reporters to whom we pitch stories, so should the latter take a moment or two to discover a little more about the organizations to whom they turn for professional insights/remarks.

Regardless, I enjoyed parsing responses to her questions, and as you'll note from the article below, she found my responses sufficiently compelling as to devote significant space to them--and generate a nice unexpected media hit for the MRA.

Gas giveaways hottest new promotion for businesses
By Anna Marie Kukec (Daily Herald staff)

Forget the free toaster or $50 added to a newly opened checking account.

Gasoline has become the hot new promotional must-have.

As that prized commodity exceeded $4 a gallon, it has taken on celebrity status in corporate contests and giveaways. Automobile manufacturers, travel firms, even a politician and a candy company are using gasoline as part of their marketing and promotional events.

The Holy Grail of such promotions came Tuesday as hundreds of cars lined up for free gasoline at a filling station in Romeoville -- sponsored by a candy bar. One Hummer driver reportedly saved about $130 with the gimmick, sponsored by The Hershey Co.'s PayDay and Skor candy bars.

The national kickoff for the Hershey contest aimed to help fuel your appetite and your tank. But the use of gasoline as a marketing or promotional tool has been fueling a new spin on getting your attention -- and ultimately more of your dollars.

Bruce Mendelsohn, spokesman for Glastonbury, Conn.-based Marketing Research Association, notes that "substantial anecdotal evidence" indicates the more scarce the resource, the more likely companies are to use it in marketing and promotional campaigns. This is especially evident when the resource ties into the company's line of business, Mendelsohn said.

"We think it's another example of the incredibly creative ways some businesses are adapting to challenging economic circumstances," he said. "As market researchers, we're always studying and evaluating consumer behavior; we're curious to discover how successful businesses will be by using gasoline as a marketing and/or promotional tool."

Using gasoline in a contest or promotion isn't unique. Similar contests, although not as sophisticated, happened during the oil embargo in the 1970s.

On alternate rationing days, some companies conducted "Are you odd?" or "Are you even?" campaigns, seeking to draw consumers to their respective stores, Mendelsohn said.

"While there's no doubt the exponentially increasing gas prices are depleting consumers' wallets, businesses that find ways to relieve the pressure on consumers are certain to be viewed favorably by consumers and generate some media attention," Mendelsohn said.

The Hershey promotion, for example, hinged on its new "Cash 4 Gas" instant-win game, which will give away cash for more than 100,000 gallons of gasoline through December. The Romeoville kickoff offered more than 5,000 gallons of free gas to roughly 380 customers, the company said.

"High gas prices continue to be a concern for everyone and The Hershey Company is excited to offer a fun and delicious way to save on gas costs," Hersey Product Publicity Director Jody Cook said in a statement.

Another such attention-getter was Democrat congressional candidate Dan Seals' campaign event to help passing motorists fill up their tanks at cut-rate -- $1.85 a gallon -- at a Lincolnshire station last May. That was the price of gasoline when his opponent Mark Kirk as well as President George W. Bush came into office in 2001. The political ploy, like the Hershey giveaway, also jammed traffic and was a boost to about 50 drivers.

More promotions are expected to continue, including Chrysler car dealerships nationwide offering $2.99 a gallon with the purchase of a vehicle as well as Meijer grocery stores with gas stations trimming 10 cents a gallon when its Meijer credit card is used through Labor Day.

Some industry experts said more companies are likely to use gasoline as a carrot, needing to entice consumers to look at their products or service. After all, companies need such incentives to stand up to competition. So, don't expect these promotions to end anytime soon, especially as the price of gasoline climbs even higher.

Also, such enticements create a psychological impression on consumers, said D. Joel Whalen, associate professor of marketing at DePaul University in Chicago.

"When you have a shortage of gasoline and an increase in price, it creates scarcity," said Whalen. "And that creates an unmediated response in consumers. It's something they don't think about, but they then attach an increase in value to that scarce item."

A Voice of Reason (At Least in This Case) from Islam

2008-06-02T10:31:00.003-04:00

The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) recently called the Rachael Ray Keffiyeh kontroversy an "incredibly silly situation."

A move by Dunkin' Donuts to pull an online ad featuring Rachael Ray after columnist and blogger Michelle Malkin said it was "hate couture," was an "incredibly silly situation," said CAIR spokesman Ahmed Rehab. The ad (see entry, below) showed TV host Ray wearing a black and white scarf that some critics likened to a keffiyeh, a traditional Arab headdress.

"It's sad that Dunkin' Donuts pandered to that kind of fear–mongering. They have businesses in the Middle East, in the Arab world. It's interesting to see how that will affect business there," said Rehab.

Dunkin' Donuts said in a statement Ray had been wearing a silk scarf with a "paisley design" selected by a stylist with no intended symbolism. It pulled the ad due to the possibility of misperception, the company said.

When asked about the ad's removal, Ray's spokesman Charlie Dougiello told Reuters: "Our comment is no comment whatsoever."

In fairness, let's give CAIR the last word: "It seems like anti-Arab, anti-Muslim bigoted expression is the last frontier of accepted bigotry," said Rehab. "There is still racism against African Americans, Latinos and other ethnicities, but the average person would think twice about making their racist feelings public. Not so with Muslims and Arabs. We need to move beyond that."

A voice of reason from a most unexpected source.

The "Incriminating" Photo

2008-05-30T09:04:00.001-04:00

Love Dunkin', overlookin' the so-called Kaffiyeh.

Rachael Ray in a Kaffiyeh?!

2008-05-30T08:58:00.003-04:00

Recently in the news... Dunkin' Donuts pulled an online advertisement featuring Rachael Ray after complaints that a fringed black-and-white scarf that the celebrity chef wore in the ad offers symbolic support for Muslim extremism and terrorism.

First, some background for those who may not be familiar with this issue. Then, an opinion.

The coffee and baked goods chain said the ad that began appearing online May 7 was pulled because "the possibility of misperception detracted from its original intention to promote our iced coffee."

Critics, including conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, complained that the scarf wrapped around her looked like a kaffiyeh, the traditional Arab headdress. Critics who fueled online complaints about the ad in blogs say such scarves symbolize Muslim extremism and terrorism.

The kaffiyeh, Malkin wrote in a online column, "has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not-so-ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."

A statement issued by Canton, Mass.-based Dunkin' Brands Inc., said the scarf had a paisley design and that a stylist chose it for the advertising shoot. "Absolutely no symbolism was intended," the company said.

Malkin, in a posting following up her initial column, said of Dunkin's decision to pull the ad: "It's refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists."

Now, an opinion.

While I certainly have no sympathy for Muslim (or Arab) extremism, it's clear that complaints about the scarf's use in the ad demonstrate misunderstandings of Arab culture and the multiple meanings that symbols can take on depending on someone's perspective.

While some extremists and terrorists may wear kaffiyehs, to reduce their meaning to support for terrorism both has a tacit racist tone and demonstrates a highly simplistic view regarding a exceedingly complex issue.

Now is NOT the Time to Reduce Your Marketing and Advertising Investments

2008-05-28T16:23:00.002-04:00

If you think the economic slowdown or recession (yes, the dreaded ‘r’ word) forces you to reduce your investment in advertising and marketing, you’ve adopted a flawed line of reasoning.

I say this because it’s a proven fact that the best time to pick up market share is in a recession, when—as budgets tighten—your competitors become more vulnerable.

According to a 2005 report from Penn State’s Smeal College of Business, certain prescient firms see the downturn as an opportunity and increase their marketing spending. Consider these examples: Proctor & Gamble pushed Ivory soap during the Great Depression, Intel launched "Intel Inside" during the 1990-1991 recession and from 2000-2001, Wal-Mart check-mated its competitors with their “Every Day Low Prices” campaign. You may recall those campaigns because, oh, their messages stood out in a less competitive climate.

Just recently, Kraft Foods and Kellogg Co. told analysts they will boost their ad outlays despite drops in net income. According to Advertising Age, they instituted broad-based price increases in 2007, responding to higher commodity costs. Kellogg CEO David MacKay was quoted as saying that the company is sufficiently strong to withstand some consumers migrating to private label brands.

If you’re among the trend followers who are considering reducing your investment in advertising and marketing, take a moment to consider or measure what you’re really cutting out of your budget. Are you just cutting costs? Or, are you cutting audience share, slashing your messaging and slowing your hard-earned momentum? Marketing and advertising budgets seem like an easy place to eliminate costs, but in the end, the only thing you’re cutting is your business.

A slowdown or recession doesn’t necessarily equate to long term economic disability. We know the economy will rebound. It always does. The aggressive positioning you take today will pay off tomorrow.

Those who maintain marketing and advertising spending will be positioned as leaders when the bust goes boom again. Don’t plan to survive. Plan to thrive.

The Oil-Industrial Complex Strikes Again

2008-05-21T15:58:00.001-04:00

In hearings on Capitol Hill today, oil executives said:

1) "We cannot change the world market. Today's high prices are linked to the failure both here and abroad to increase supplies, renewables and conservation." (Robert Malone, chairman and president of BP America Inc.)

2) "The fundamental laws of supply and demand are at work. The market is squeezed by exporting nations managing demand for their own interest and other nations subsidizing prices to encourage economic growth." (John Hofmeister, president of Shell)

This is the same old song and dance. During the past year or two, the "Oil-Industrial Complex" has reaped unprecedented profits. When the public asks why, BO representatives like those quoted above say it's the nature of the business: severe weather, wars, terrorist attacks, supply and demand. Many reasons and variables affect the bottom line.

Unlike most businesses, BO has figured out how to profit EVERY TIME from adversity, whether man-made or natural. In fact, the worse the adversity, the higher their profits.

Big Oil conglomerates like Exxon-Mobil claim they neither set prices nor control the market. That's laughable. Exxon-Mobil operates in nearly 200 countries or territories, exploring for and producing oil and gas. Exxon-Mobil's oil and gas fields, both domestic and abroad, produce more than four million oil-equivalent barrels per day in 24 countries including but not limited to the U.S., West Africa, Saudi Arabia, and Australia.

Exxon-Mobil has interest in 46 refineries in 26 countries, more than 25,000 miles of pipelines and 45,000 gas stations, under the well-known brands of Esso, Mobil and Exxon in more than 100 countries. Exxon-Mobil is simply the world's foremost manufacturer and marketer of petroleum products. From that lofty perch they cannot help but wield considerable price setting influence.

Here's a hypothetical. Pretend for a moment that with all these oil wells, refineries and pipelines around the world, Exxon-Mobil really doesn't have any significant influence. Let's look specifically at the domestic oil market.

Forty percent of the oil consumed in America comes from America. In the 1970s it was profitable for the oil companies to produce and market oil in the range of $22 per barrel. So why is it that the major oil companies were recently charging more than FOUR TIMES THAT AMOUNT per barrel for domestic oil?

America has for years been subsidizing oil wells. We pay for this up front and at the pump but the government claims this is a free enterprise and it cannot interfere.

I am as much a Capitalist as the next guy, but Big Oil is lying when they say they don't have price setting influence. Big Oil should stop hiding behind catastrophes, crises and the threat of crises, and simply say: "This is a business. America was built on business. Shareholders want more profits so we're going to give them what they want. If you don't like it, don't drive."

THe PR Holy Grail: A Wall Street Journal Hit

2008-05-19T08:29:00.004-04:00

These days in PR everyone is a-twitter about twitter, manic over microblogging, nuts over social networking and ya-ya over YouTube... but there remains no substitute for a placement in the venerable Wall Street Journal. While the venerable New York Times is adulated as the Grey Lady, serious PR pros know that getting the attention--and the incredibly valuable print or electronic real estate--of a Wall Street Journal reporter represents a jewel in the crown of a PR career.

In my career I've earned placements across all media--print, radio, TV, online--but a Journal placement had until this weekend eluded me. That changed this Sunday, when--after months of courting Carl Bialik (aka "The Number Guy") about cellphone research, polling, and other matters relating to Market Research--he covered one of my clients (the Council for Marketing and Opinion Research, CMOR) in his blog.

Here's the link: http://blogs.wsj.com/numbersguy/cellphone-surveys-get-a-boost-339/?mod=WSJBlog

Yes, PR is about knowing your media target, tenaciously pursuing him/her and following through frequently but not annoyingly. There's also a healthy dose of luck involved--in many cases a news issue will come up at the same time your voice mail or email hits the reporters' in-box. You can't predict that, but you can position your client so that the reporter knows he/she is available as an expert source. That's what I did with Mr. Bialik and CMOR, and it got CMOR a nice one-paragraph mention in Mr. Bialik's blog.

Back in January, responding to a column in which he covered the polling industry’s debate over dialing cellphones, I sent The Numbers Guy an MRA press release on polling and pollsters. When polling or surveying issues arose in the ensuing months, I followed up with several voice mails in which I referred him to CMOR’s work in this area. My PR savvy paid off on Sunday with the blog entry.

Happy 15th Birthday, Internet!

2008-05-16T08:21:00.005-04:00

Last month, the Internet turned 15 years old. To refresh your memory, it was created by Sir Tim Berners-Lee (NOT Al Gore), who invented the "web" idea. The Internet as we know it today (from the mid-1990s) has its roots in a Defense Department project in 1969. The subject of the project was wartime digital communications.

The decision to make the code underlying the web free and available to all was perhaps one of the most momentous in recent business and social history.

As much as the Internet progressed technically in the 1990s, it revolutionized human communication and interaction. In just 15 years, the Internet has become part of the international vocabulary and is clearly destined for even greater prominence. It has been accepted by the business community, with a resulting explosion of service providers, consultants, books, and TV coverage.

Here are 20 “facts” that demonstrate the growing power and pervasiveness of the WWW. Caveat emptor: Each “fact” is subject to a great deal of discussion and argument so I welcome your research-based corrections.

1. Twenty percent of the world’s population, 1.17 to 1.33 billion people, use the Internet. North America (72%) has the highest penetration; Africa (5%) the lowest.

2. Only 30% (380 million) of Internet users are English-speaking, 14% (180 million) speak Chinese, 9% (113 million) speak Spanish. 46 million Internet users speak Arabic.

3. China’s Internet population increased by a third in 2006. According to state news agency Xinhua, the total number of Internet users in China has reached 132 million, of which 52 million have broadband connections. [Source: Guardian, December 2006]

4. Google’s market capitalization is around $180 billion, nearly three times the size of News Corporation. Microsoft, Apple, Google and Amazon are all in the Fortune 150 list.

5. According to Zenith Optimedia, between 2007 and 2010, Internet ad spending will increase by 69% and raise its market share from 8.1% to 11.5%. About $36 billion will be spent on Internet advertising globally in 2008, an increase of 24%.

6. YouTube is the world’s third largest site, behind Google and Yahoo. One in five of the world’s Internet users visit YouTube each day. Nearly half of US Internet users report visiting a video-sharing site like YouTube at least once.

7. Britney Spears was the most sought after celebrity on Google in 2007 and pilates was the most popular search in the fitness category. The most popular who, what and how queries were ‘Who is God’, ‘What is Love’ and ‘How to Kiss’.

8. Social networking is the fastest growing part of the Internet. There are 70 million active users on Facebook (the 8th most popular site in the world), more than 14 million photos are uploaded daily. The fourth most popular country for Facebook is Turkey with 3.3% of users. Australia is 6th with 2.7%. A Sophos poll of 600 workers found that 43% were unable to access Facebook at work, while an additional 7% reported that use of the site was restricted.

9. In 2007, global digital music sales rose 40% to $2.9 billion, according to the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry. Downloaded music now makes up 15% of the recording industry’s sales.

10. Movie downloads could grow tenfold by 2012 and reach $6.3 billion worldwide during that period, according to a 2007 report by British market research firm Informa Telecoms & Media.

11. The iTunes store was launched on 28 April 2003; it has since sold more than four billion tracks and over 125 million TV episodes worldwide. It now rivals Wal-mart to be the biggest music retailer in the US. 150 million iPods have been sold worldwide since the device first appeared in October 2001. Nearly 40% of Americans now own an iPod or other mp3 player.

12. Wikipedia is the world’s 7th most popular Web site. The English version of Wikipedia has more than 2.3 million articles. Over a third of online US adults consult Wikipedia.

13. There are over 100 million Web sites, of which 74% are in the commercial or .com domain.

14. Total e-commerce sales in the US for 2007 were estimated at $136.4 billion, an increase of 19% from 2006. Total retail sales in 2007 increased 4% from 2006. E-commerce sales in 2007 accounted for 3.4% of total sales. E-commerce sales in 2006 accounted for 2.9% of total sales.

15. Core search engines Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, AOL, and Ask.com collectively increased 15% in December 2007 in searches performed, compared to a year earlier, serving 9.6 billion searches in December 2007.

16. Since the beginning of 2007, Sen. Obama has raised more than $100 million online from Americans contributing $200 or less at a time, according to data compiled by the Campaign Finance Institute (Wall Street Journal, May 3, 2008)

17. In 2006, the average corporate email user received 126 messages a day, up 55% from 2003, according to the Radicati Group, a Palo Alto market research firm. By 2009, workers can expect to spend 41% of their time just managing emails. (Wall Street Journal, November 11, 2007)

18. More books are sold on the Internet than any other product and the number is increasing, research suggests. Polling company Nielsen Online surveyed 26,312 people in 48 countries. 41% of internet users had bought books online, it said. The largest percentage of people buying books in any country was South Korea at 58%. Twenty percent of US book sales and 17 percent of UK book sales are now made online.

19. Nielsen says more than eight out of ten Internet users purchased something in the last three months. That is a 40% increase on two years ago, to about 875 million shoppers. (BBC, January 21, 2008)

20. Newspapers’ online audiences are rising at twice the rate of the general Internet audience. Newspaper Web sites attracted more than 66.4 million unique visitors on average (40.7% of all Internet users) in the first quarter of 2008, a record number that represents a 12.3% increase over the same period a year ago, according to a custom analysis provided by Nielsen Online for the Newspaper Association of America.

On this Earth Day, Here is an post regarding "Green Marketing"

2008-04-22T11:30:00.004-04:00

Green Marketing: What it is and how to do it.

By Laura Briere & Bruce Mendelsohn

Consumers expect to double their spending on green products and services in the next year, totaling an estimated $500 billion annually or $43 billion per month, according to new findings from the 2007 ImagePower Green Brands Survey, conducted by WPP’s Landor Associates, Penn, Schoen & Berland Associates and Cohn & Wolfe.

The survey also found that consumer perceptions of green continue to change according to various collective definitions and contribute directly to buying decisions.

Green marketing is the responsible way to market your products/services by using technology, conservation and minimizing waste. If you haven’t started green marketing, the information below will help you on your way.

Going green, after all, is just a matter of changing your perception from focusing only on “tried and true” to the creative “let’s try something different.” What used to work still can, but the modern green revolution has opened up a whole new realm of opportunity for new marketing.

Some examples of great new technologies include blogs, social networking, e-newsletters, and online advertising. These complement the “tried and true” methods of public relations, cause marketing, viral marketing, and other activities that leverage the power of the media, word of mouth marketing and human interest.

The easiest way to get started with green marketing is to take a step back from your business and perform a brief green marketing audit. You should already have many of the answers, but it’s in your best interest to ask yourself again and step outside of your comfort zone. You may find it beneficial to consult a qualified marketing professional who can help expose you to a whole new world of green marketing options.

Create your green marketing plan:

Perform a market analysis and establish your “ground.”
Where is your company in the market?
What is your competition doing?
Segment your business offerings by “who buys what.”
What do your customers have in common?
Are you offering too much?
Are you trying to be everything to everyone?
Determine your product/service market.
Is it priced appropriately?
Does it cost enough? Too much?
Identify your core “green” messages.
What green messages are you trying to convey to your customers?
What is the basic POINT behind your messages? (Note: These are NOT your taglines

Outline what your core green “brand elements” should be/are.

What does green marketing specifically look like as applied to your company?
How do you want your customers to perceive your green marketing initiatives?
Determine if your web site is in line with your marketing objectives and target markets.
Is it up to date?
Does it offer the latest technologies?
Can you manage it yourself?
Is it up to the highest standards in technology?
Can you leverage the latest and greatest tools in new media?
What can you change?
Align your “green marketing plan” with your overall marketing objectives and target markets.
Where possible, use metrics to align the two plans.
Does your green marketing plan take advantage of the latest technologies?
Can you manage it yourself?
Determine the promotional areas in which you can get really creative/green.
Can you leverage your commitment to green to help you spread your message?
Which segments are going to care about your green marketing efforts?
How much money can you save?
How much money can you reallocate from previous methods to green and new freed-up opportunities?

Plan for feedback.

How do you plan to get it?
What will you do with it once you get it?

With so much focus on green marketing, many companies try to hop on the bandwagon by launching green initiatives that are in essence “greenwashing” or “green sheen.” These terms are generally used when companies spend significantly more money or time advertising being green (that is, operating with consideration for the environment), rather than investing resources on genuinely environmentally sound practices.

Consumers are increasingly knowledgeable of the difference between “real green” and “green sheen”; companies that invest resources in the latter risk significant negative PR when their greenwashing efforts are exposed.

In December 2007, environmental marketing company TerraChoice gained national press coverage for releasing a study called “The Six Sins of Greenwashing,” which found that 99% of 1,018 common consumer products randomly surveyed for the study were guilty of greenwashing. According to the study, the six sins of greenwashing are:

Sin of the Hidden Trade-Off: e.g. “Energy-efficient” electronics that contain hazardous materials. 998 products and 57% of all environmental claims committed this Sin.
Sin of No Proof: e.g. Shampoos claiming to be “certified organic,” but with no verifiable certification. 454 products and 26% of environmental claims committed this Sin.
Sin of Vagueness: e.g. Products claiming to be 100% natural when many naturally-occurring substances are hazardous, like arsenic and formaldehyde (see appeal to nature). Seen in 196 products or 11% of environmental claims.
Sin of Irrelevance: e.g. Products claiming to be CFC-free, even though CFCs were banned 20 years ago. This Sin was seen in 78 products and 4% of environmental claims.
Sin of Fibbing: e.g. Products falsely claiming to be certified by an internationally recognized environmental standard like EcoLogo, Energy Star or Green Seal. Found in 10 products or less than 1% of environmental claims.
Sin of Lesser of Two Evils: e.g. Organic cigarettes or “environmentally friendly” pesticides, This occurred in 17 products or 1% of environmental claim

Laura Briere is CEO & Founder of Vision Advertising, a marketing communications firm based in Worcester, MA. She is also head of the World Green Business Association.

Engaging a Booth Visitor

2008-04-10T15:50:00.001-04:00

DSC_0394
Originally uploaded by The Advertising Research Foundation

When you get it right, the visitor responds and you can enjoy a short but substantive conversation. If they leave with a smile, odds are good that they'll remember the interaction positively.

Working the Booth at ARF's Conference in NYC

2008-04-10T15:44:00.001-04:00

DSC_0393
Originally uploaded by The Advertising Research Foundation

Make no mistake: Working exhibit hall floors at conferences is mentally and physically demanding. Every visitor demands personal attention, and being bombarded by unscrupulous salespeople makes visitors naturally reticent to engage in conversations.

I use expansive hand gestures, a wide smile, and small talk to engage a visitor, and gradually go into a soft sales approach. Only after I know the visitor's name, their company and some of their unique business challenges do I pose my organization as a potential solution.

The Next Brilliant Marketing Idea: Official Dirt

2008-03-13T10:31:00.005-04:00

While on a recent Southwest flight, I set down my latest read (The Coldest War, by David Halberstam) in favor of Southwest's entertaining in-flight magazine. In an article about St. Patrick's Day I read about a new product available for Irish people who miss the Old Country: Official Irish Dirt.

You can check out their web site at http://www.officialirishdirt.com/, and there for $20 purchase four small bags of official Irish dirt, shamrock seeds, and get free shipping.

The concept of Official Irish Dirt got me thinking about other official dirt-selling opportunities, which I have listed below:

Official West Bank Dirt: For the Palestinian in All of Us

Official Afghanistan Dirt: When You Miss Your Taliban Roots

Official Iraq Dirt: Nothing grows in it, but under it you may find WMD

Official D.C. Dirt: (So many directions to take with this one--it's just too easy)

Official New Orleans Dirt: Comes with official sea water, so you can submerge it

Official French Dirt: Start Your Own Vineyard

Official Ukraine Dirt: Invade it, Rebuild It, Contaminate It

Official Green Bay Dirt: Maybe Brett Favre Will Come Back, After All

Official North Korea Dirt: No Matter What You Do, Nothing Grows in It

Official German Dirt: Deutschland, Deutschland uber Alles in der Welt
Official Saudi Arabia Dirt: Dig Deeply Enough and You May Strike Oil

In so many ways, official Dirt is a brilliant product for the sole reason that even as our attachments to each other become more electronic, we remain nostalgic for physical places--to have a sense of place. With Official Dirt we can take that place with us wherever we go.

I think I am going to buy some DC Dirt right now: Maybe I can get some from near the Mayflower Hotel and see what pops up.

While Other Local Airports Thrive, High on a Hilltop, Worcester's Airport Remains Disused

2008-03-05T10:04:00.007-05:00

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal featured an article in the Personal Journal section about the potential success rural regional airports can have in relieving congestion at larger airports closer to urban areas.

Referring to the notion that "the idea has worked elsewhere," the article mentioned airports around Boston as examples of this success. Providence and Manchester are the prime examples, along with "fledgling development" at Worcester, Mass., and former military bases in Portsmouth, N.H., and Bedford, Mass.

I'm assuming here that the "fledgling development" at ORH refers to the $15.7 million white elephant of a terminal, $1.4 million invested to expand the airport access road (which as all locals know is just a shortcut to avoid Webster Square and get to Paxton), and $12 million to enhance operational reliability including a Surface Movement Control Guidance System (SMCGS).

Propaganda from the Worcester city "machine" about ORH says there is "strong commitment from local, state and federal officials to ensure the airport's future viability" but beyond the aforementioned efforts I have uncovered no concrete manifestations of that commitment.

Rather, there are the high-profile "committees" comprised of local functionaries, the cash-cow feasibility studies that go to local firms, and the back-and-forth recriminations that mark business as usual in Worcester.

So I wrote a letter to the editor of the Journal to help clarify why ORH remains disused--and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future.

* * *

Dear Editor,

Regarding Scott McCartney's article in which he highlights the growth of Stewart and similar airports located near highly congested urban areas, the airport in Worcester, Massachusetts was once positioned as "Logan East." However, beset by internecine local politics and notoriously bad weather, there is currently no scheduled airline service to Worcester.

I assume Mr. McCartney's "fledgling development" refers to the $15.7 million terminal and the more than $12 million invested in operational reliability enhancements, including a Surface Movement Control Guidance System (SMCGS).

What exactly the SMCGS is controlling and guiding is to be determined: ORH hasn't had commercial service since August 2006, when Allegiant Air cut ties with the airport, citing high fuel costs and passenger loads in the 75% range. ORH was last year snubbed by low-cost carrier Skybus Airlines, which opted instead to serve Chicopee's Westover Metropolitan Airport.

Compounding ORH's inconvience is the lack of a direct connection to an interstate highway (potential passengers must travel at least five miles on winding surface streets to reach the airport).

While more than six million potential passengers live within a 50-mile radius of ORH, the airport's marble floors and plate glass windows have made ORH a dusty, disused, out-of-the-way example of why some rural airports cannot attract the passengers and commercial airlines so vital to alleviating air traffic problems across the U.S.

You'd Think Worcester Would Make It More Affordable to Drink...

2008-02-21T14:48:00.003-05:00

But, alas, no. In yet another sign that Worcester's elected representatives are utterly misguided and out of touch with those whom they purport to serve, we have this nugget from a recent edition of the Worcester Business Journal:

The Business of Booze: Worcester's Liquor License Fee Increases 38 Percent

Written by the clever and indefatigable Matt Brown (who manages to come up with pretty interesting stories in this desultory town), the article discusses how Worcester's license commission almost a year bumped up the annual liquor license cost from $2,000 to $2,750.

The increase is squeezing the purveyors of a substance that makes tolerable the fact that one is consigned to live in Worcester--that is, drink enough and you'll forget you're here.

The justification for the increase is laughable if you aren't familiar with the irrepressible attitude of Kevin O'Sullivan, chairman of the commission. I've met Kevin several times and he by God is a believer in Worcester. He's highly energetic, incredibly well connected, and believes strongly in Worcester's prominence as New England's second largest city.

His reasoning is that as New England's second largest city, Worcester should have liquor license fees similar to comparable cities like Boston, Hartford, and Providence. (Aside: I've been to Providence and I work near Hartford. The former is sufficiently attractive so as not to induce residents to want to drink themselves into a stupor to forget where they are; the latter closes down at 5:30 so there's no opportunity to do so.)

Quoted in the article, O'Sullivan says, "... I think Worcester has proven to be business-friendly." Let's review:

Mass pike pass through Worcester? REJECTED
Municipal government structure design? UNWIELDY
Municipal services? REDUCED
Main Street? HIDEOUSLY UNATTRACTIVE
Opportunities for newcomers? MINIMAL

If the failure of well-intentioned initiatives to attract, bring and retain businesses Worcester (see "Destination Worcester", "Choose Worcester", etc.) is any indication, Worcester has proven repeatedly that it is NOT business friendly.

With respect to Mr. O'Sullivan, applying perfume to excrement makes the latter temporarily smell nicer. You look at it, it's still shit. Civic pride and blowsy rhetoric aside, the fact is Worcester has a long way to go before it can be considered either within or without the Commonwealth as "business-friendly."

Until Worcester has the kind of services that define world-class cities (like Providence and Boston), it's unfair to charge world class city license fees to hard-working restaurant owners. The increase represents precisely the kind of backward thinking that has relegated Worcester to joke status.

Now where's my drink?

From the Halls of Montezuma (NOT) to the Shores of Berkeley...

2008-02-08T15:19:00.000-05:00

There are times, my friends, when the political pendulum swings so far in one direction as to render moderate citizens (like me) shaking their heads at the sheer lunacy of one side. In this case, I vent my ire at the Liberal left, as not surprisingly represented by the fine citizens of Berkeley, California.

Even as the father of a Marine is about to secure the Republican Presidential nomination, even as our Marines battle in Baghdad, assault in Afghanistan, and project our country's might and right throughout the world, these brave warriors are spurned in Berkeley.

Last week the Berkeley City Council approved a measure urging the Marine recruiters to leave their downtown office. "If recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome intruders," the measure declares.

It goes on to say the council applauds residents and organizations who "volunteer to impede, passively or actively, by nonviolent means, the work of any military recruiting office located in the City of Berkeley."

Berkeley's declaration, which was introduced by the city's Peace and Justice Commission, accuses the United States of having a history of "launching illegal, immoral and unprovoked wars of aggression and the Bush administration launched the most recent of those wars in Iraq and is threatening the possibility of war in Iran."

Reached for comment, Marine spokeswoman Gunnery Sgt. Pauline Franklin blithely said "there is no plan for that office to move." Marines very rarely cede territory once they've gained it; and they certainly don't leave any of their comrades behind.

"The Marine Corps is here to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, which does guarantee the freedom of speech," Franklin said. "In terms of the situation in Berkeley, the City Council and the protesters are exercising their right to do so."

Which the Marines--and the Army, Navy, and Air Force--are defending. Berkeley citizens: Where's your gratitude?

Fortunately, the Federal government has noticed Berkeley's stance. Several moderate Republicans introduced the Semper Fi Act of 2008. The Act would rescind more than $2 million of funds for Berkeley and transfer it to the Marine Corps.

Whether your representative is a Republican or a Democrat, this is one Act you should encourage him or her to support.

Hired Pens: In the Web 2.0 World, The Pen Truly is Mightier!

2008-02-06T10:29:00.000-05:00

One of my New Year's resolutions was to spend less time blogging and more time in personal and professional development. In the past six weeks I've done a lot of both and in the process picked up a lot of interesting tips. One such tip is indicated in the discussion stream below, which I've conducted with my friend Pete Caputa who writes a blog called PC4Media.

After he ran in his blog a piece I wrote (http://www.pc4media.net/Blog/bid/3630/Marketing-the-Environment), we began a fascinating discussion on blogging and communications in our Web 2.0 world.

Pete writes: One particular challenge that I foresee happening is... I'm signing on all of these companies to start blogging. The reasons they're starting to blog include:
1) to improve their rankings in the search engines since more content = more chances to be found; and
2) engage their customers and their prospects in a conversation... which gets more prospects to convert into "signups" or "leads" sooner and gets your clients to "sell you for you".

However, I think I'm going to need to come up with a "package" for the business owners that need help writing or totally need to outsource it. I'm going to need someone like you that can understand their business, write and engage. I will have 200+ customers by end of 2008. This could be a full time freelance opportunity. I could see it morphing into more of a project manager that manages writers and maybe even other hands on services. Any interest?

My response below is, I believe, a relevant and timely commentary on what business owners need to consider when blogging. It also fleshes out an idea I've been considering for a while: "Writers for Hire" (or, "The Hired Pens")... Like hired guns, and just as effective and powerful.

My thoughts on your proposal follow: There are A LOT of blogs out there, and many (in fact, most) are poorly written, rambling, off subject and add little (if any) value that relates back to the product, service, or business someone is trying to promote.

After all, it's challenging to compose relevant, compelling content on a regular basis--after a few dismal attempts most business owners move on to something else. It's not that they don't have the desire; they don't have the time or the discipline to devote to a labor-intensive product like a blog.

The key is to help your clients understand how a blog (or a podcast, RSS feed, widget, etc.) should and must be integrated within a broader marketing and communications plan. For example, if they have a product in R&D or coming to market, they'll want to use the blog to build interest in and excitement about the product or service. They'll want to create a dialogue with consumers in which consumers can share their thoughts about the product or service.

When it comes to blogging in our Web 2.0 world, it's all about the 5 C's: Collaboration, Content, Converged services, Community, and Conversation. Your job is not only to help business owners understand the important of blogging, but also to invest the necessary resources (time and money) to creating a well-written, interactive online dialogue through their blog.

This is where talented communicators like me enter the equation: You need to have a posse of writers who know how to interview and, more importantly, write for the web. You need your posse of writers to establish relationships with the business owners so the latter truly trust that the former will convey their thoughts clearly, effectively and accurately.

Each has to have a level of trust and comfort with the other--a mutually beneficial relationship that is built over time--which you would facilitate and monitor at first, and then gradually let go of. At first you (or someone you know and trust) will have to carefully and frequently monitor the blog posts and client satisfaction.

As for morphing into other services, I see that as the next step in the process of building relationships with your clients. First it's the blog, and once your clients start realizing value (CTR, interactivity, dialogue--however you measure it, you're going to have to demonstrate value before you propose a next step) from the blog (and the great writing they're getting) you can propose other services like enewsletters, print/online brochures, feature articles, PR, etc.

There is certainly a need for good writing on the web and a definite lack of good writers. I'd be happy to discuss this with you further, I believe you could benefit from someone with my experience and expertise, and I am intrigued by your idea.

"Resolution Month" at the Gym: This Year, Try Sticking With It!

2008-01-02T18:47:00.000-05:00

I admit to being a fitness elitist.

With 16 marathons under my feet, three Chesapeake Bay Bridge swims, countless additional road races, triathlons, adventure races and innumerable hours spent in gyms throughout the world, my fitness portfolio is filled with accomplishments.

While fitness is for me a year-round pursuit, every January I generally stay away from the gym. Because January, as anyone who spends any time at a gym knows, is "Resolution Month."

During "Resolution Month," people who haven't been inside a gym for months--if not years--resolve to shed the excess pounds accumulated over months and years of indolence; they strive to regain the level of fitness they had in their 20s or 30s.

Filled with admirable intentions and ambitious (if unrealistic) goals, for three to four weeks they infest the gym.

"Regulars" recognize these newcomers by their trendy new fitness clothes, their sleek Nalgene water bottles, their new iPods, their 'hit-it-hard' approach to weightlifting and cardio, and their often dangerous techniques. When we see the newcomers, regulars exchange knowing glances: We know it's January and we know that come February the infestation will subside.

I admire people who resolve to do the extremely hard work of losing weight and getting in shape. I always say it's harder to get in shape than it is to stay in shape, so when I go to the gym in January (which as I mentioned is not often), I compliment the newcomers.

I encourage them to stick with it, to persist, to persevere, so that next January they too will recognize the newcomers; so that next January they'll realize where they were this January and be justifiably proud in their accomplishments.

'Twas the Day Before Christmas: More Office Space Doggerel

2007-12-21T16:02:00.001-05:00

... 'Twas the day before Christmas
And all through the halls,
nothing was stirring,
not even Nerf balls.

... The copier was quiet,
the phones silent too,
in hopes that soon the boss
would proclaim the day 'through'.

... The decorations on fake trees were drooping,
as glitter breezed through the cube farm,
not a worker was stirring,
ending the day early brings no harm.

... Now we are done for the day,
to enter early rush hour a-fright,
with a Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas": Office Space Version

2007-12-21T09:54:00.000-05:00

Although I just started a new job two weeks ago and am swamped with tons of information on a new industry, I still have time to devote to this blog.

With an hour drive each way to work, I also have a lot of time on my hands--as you will note from this oddball version I composed on my way to work this morning.

It actually fits the tune "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!"

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
Empty chairs at every desk.

Take a look in the corner cube
there is the Jewish rube

His dusty menorah eight lights all aglow...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
co-workers jam the halls.

No work is getting done
everyone's having fun

With talk of vacations topic number one...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
secret Santas abound;

And the prettiest sight you'll see
is when the cars from the lot all flee

Released from work early!

Happy holidays, everyone!

"I'm Shocked I'm Pregnant!"

2007-12-19T15:19:00.000-05:00

By the time you're 16--especially with Generation Click--you kind of understand the pregnancy process:

1) Boy meets girl
2) Boy sleeps with girl

So why exactly is Jamie Lynn Spears so "shocked" by the fact she got pregnant?
For years she's been "hanging out" with her boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Apparently she has not been the only thing hanging out.

Do as I say, not as I do...

The message Spears communicates to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told OK!magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

How about she thought about the various positions she didn't have to put herself in to get to this position?!

But we're talking about the Spears clan, perhaps the oddest and most pitiable celebrity family ever. Older sis Britney has gone from star to oddity to simply sad; it's unfortunate that her sister appears to be following closely in older sis' footsteps.

When it comes to premarital sex, Spears the Younger said in a recent AP interview that she has no steady boyfriend. "I kind of just keep my options open," she said. "I have a bunch of friends that I always hang out with, a bunch of guy friends."

Her options, it seems, are not the only things she keeps open.

It's No Coincidence That His Name is Spelled AhMADinejab

2007-12-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

If you want proof there is a God and that He appreciates irony, embrace the fact that He put the world's most valuable resource in the hands of the world's most unstable people.
In a hotbed of instability, the King of the Unstable Rulers is Iran's Mahmoud AhMADinejab. Were it not so frighteningly appropriate, the irony would be delicious.
Today, Reuters reports AhMADinejab as declaring victory in his increasingly bellicose war of words with Washington--indeed, with the Western world. On Sunday, AhMADinejab said the publication of a U.S. intelligence report declaring Iran had halted a nuclear weapons program in 2003 amounted to a "declaration of surrender" by Washington in its argument with Tehran.
AhMADinejad, who often rails against the West, told a rally earlier this month that the December 3 publication of the U.S. National Intelligence Estimate was a "victory" for Iran.
Iran insists its nuclear program is peaceful and designed to make electricity. It says it has never had a nuclear weapons program.
We've heard this tired rhetoric before, in 1980, from Iran's unstable neighbor (and former enemy) Iraq. Saddam said it before the Israelis bombed his Osirak Nuclear Power Plant. We've heard it more recently from Syria before the Israelis bombed a suspect facility deep inside that unstable country.
Sensing a pattern here? These unstable Middle Eastern countries have nuclear aspirations. Soon they're going to have nuclear weapons--despite our best attempts to keep from their hands the most destructive weapons ever invented by man.
You'd have to be MAD not to be afraid.

'Roid Rage

2007-12-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

Barry Bonds. Roger Clemens. Marion Jones. The best hitter of our generation; (arguably) the best pitcher of our generation; one of the most dominant female track and field athletes of all time... Guilty of bangin 'roids.

Forget the other bit-players implicated in the Mitchell Report (Yankees fans, your mid-90s titles now appear to require asterisks), now I have 'roid rage.

No wonder Bonds grew from a scrawny singles hitter and swift base runner to a muscle bound home run hitter; no wonder Clemens was such an overpowering pitcher well into the years when most professional athletes do their best pitching on TV commercials.

The message this sends to aspiring professional athletes--indeed, to all athletes--is "Succeed. Whatever the cost, succeed. Do whatever it takes to succeed." Similar reasoning pervades the once-hallowed halls of academia, with cheating rampant: "Even if you have to cheat, even if it ruins your body, tarnishes beyond repair your reputation, or jeopardizes your career, succeed."

In their untramelled pursuit of success, athletes like Bonds, Clemens, Jones and others reinforce these messages and sacrifice on the altar of success far more lasting characteristics like honesty, integrity and fair play.

Shame on them. And shame on us for lauding them.

More Business Blunders in Auburn

2007-12-12T19:59:00.001-05:00

In my previous entry, you discovered two reasons why you should not establish or relocate your business in Auburn, Taxachusetts. I'm still incredulous that the Chairman of Auburn's Board of Selectmen simply "solved" the problem of excessive commercial taxes by encouraging businesses to "go to Millbury" (a neighboring town that is far more favorable to businesses).

There is another chapter to this story, though. This chapter is especially relevant to me and my profession (Public Relations and Marketing).

It starts a few months ago, with the Auburn Chamber of Commerce's search for a marketing communications firm to help it build awareness of the benefits of doing business in Auburn and increasing the Chamber's outreach and PR profile. My consultancy was one of three firms interviewed for this important contract, along with Penta Communications (a full-service firm in Westboro) and a firm in Sturbridge called Smith & Jones. The Chamber's Business Development Task Force--seven prominent Auburn businesspeople--interviewed each firm.

I prepared rigorously for the interview, recommending to the Task Force a series of PR and marketing initiatives designed to meet their goals as I understood them. Working to my advantage were the following factors: I live in Auburn; I know three people on the committee (one of whom is a client); and I addressed every single aspect of the RFP. I told them how many hours I felt the effort would require and my hourly rate. I assume Smith & Jones did the same. That's the way these interviews go in the normal world outside Worcester.

Penta Communications received the contract.

I later learned that Penta Communications received the contract because they offered to do the work pro bono. Well, you get what you pay for.

Penta Communications did what most of the firms in this area do when they give away or discount work: They redesigned the Chamber's logo, provided boilerplate guidelines on how to use the logo, and submitted some rudimentary marketing ideas. Nothing substantial, because they have to devote their resources to paying clients. The mentality: "We're the experts, we have all the answers, you should listen to us."

As far as I know from my sources, Penta didn't take the time necessary to understand Auburn's unique challenges. They didn't interview business leaders. They didn't provide a PR plan or suggest any concrete measures to address Auburn's core problems. They redesigned a logo. As if a simple redesign were the answer.

Penta hasn't responded to the unfavorable article in this week's Worcester Business Journal--not a letter to the editor, not an op-ed, nothing. I don't expect they will.

Why should they? They're not getting paid. You get what you pay for.

Two Reasons Not to Move Your Business to Auburn, Massachusetts

2007-12-11T21:43:00.000-05:00

Folks, there's a reason why they call the Great Commonwealth of Massachusetts Taxachusetts. That's reason number one why you should not move your business to Auburn, Taxachusetts.

Commercial taxes in many townships like Auburn are prohibitively and (as you'll see below) unapologetically high. While the taxes do in fact subsidize decent residential services, when taxes on businesses are so onerous, business leaders and entrepreneurs naturally look elsewhere to reduce their tax burden and thereby increase their bottom lines. Hence the flight of businesses from my adopted hometown of Auburn, Taxachusetts.

There's another reason, though: One far more insidious and pervasive to this area of Central Taxachusetts. It's an anti-business attitude, an attitude of "let's keep things the way they are because we like them that way". It's not necessarily The Old Boys' Club but rather a completely understandable (though lamentable) desire to stay within a long-established comfort zone.

But as shrewd and savvy business leaders know, staying within your comfort zone doesn't get you ahead.

Despite their claims of embracing new businesses, of repeatedly subsidizing sophisticated and costly marketing campaigns to attract new businesses, of redesigning logos and chasing ever-dwindling consumer dollars, in reality many civic leaders are content either to maintain the status quo or to actively discourage businesses from relocating to their little fiefdoms.

Nowhere is this more evident than in an article on Auburn highlighted in the December 10 issue of the Worcester Business Journal. (http://wbjournal.com/j/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2951&Itemid=139)

The article features remarks from Matteo Gentile, head of the Auburn Chamber of Commerce's business development task force, and owner of One Star Realty on Route 12, just over the Worcester line in Auburn. Route 12, he says, should be a beacon for businesses. The road gets a lot of vehicular traffic on its route through Auburn to Worcester.

Rather than flocking to Route 12, businesses are migrating away, leaving empty storefronts and contributing to the broken-down look so endemic to Worcester and the surrounding region.

The reason behind the business exodus? Auburn's dual-rate tax system. Currently, the rate for commercial property is twice the rate for residential property and higher than that of surrounding towns like Millbury.

Auburn's government has for the past 25 years blithely assumed that the town's proximity to major highways would be enough to attract businesses, business owners said.

Those same town officials - like many in the region - say they're doing the best they can to balance the need to support economic development, while keeping taxes low and quality of life high for residents.

But perceived favor to residential taxpayers means "businesses along Route 12 are leaving and they're not coming back, or they're not being replaced by anything else," Gentile said.

Auburn business owners have brought their case to Auburn's Board of Selectmen, a group of "townies" currently chaired by Elizabeth Prouty. Prouty said the board's responsibility is solely to the town's residents and keeping the residential tax rate low trumps all else.

"We are unwilling to change that system," she said. She said the board of selectmen asked the town accountant to figure out how much the average residential tax bill would increase if a flat tax were implemented and the board was told $900.

"It isn't worth it, and it isn't more fair to everybody," she said. "I know (commercial property owners) want a flat tax rate. Go to Millbury."

She actually said "go to Millbury."

You want to do business in Auburn? Go to Millbury. Reason Number Two. Case closed.

The Writer's Strike Apparently Extends to The Hired Pen's Blog...

2007-12-07T20:06:00.000-05:00

As many of my devoted blog groupies have noticed, I have not blogged for almost a week. This is not by accident: In sympathy with my fellow writers in Hollywood, I am on strike.

I wonder if my strike will gain as much public notice as that of the Hollywood writers.

I somehow doubt it.

The Soccer Field: Where Teamwork Matters More than Nationalities

2007-12-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

This weekend I am visiting my (former) hometown, Washington, D.C. This city is known for its cosmopolitan and international flavor, as it is the center for hundreds of embassies and numerous other internationally-oriented companies, organizations and think-tanks.

These organizations are staffed by large contingents of foreigners who bring to this country a love of and passion for soccer; you can drive around the city and the suburbs with your cleats in your car and generally find a pick-up game you can join. Your skills and teamwork matter more than where you're from, what language you speak, your level of personal hygiene, etc.

On fields throughout the region, Greeks play with Turks, Muslims with Jews, Germans with French, Peruvians with Chileans, you get the idea. Soccer games around here are the great melting pot and the universal equalizer: The winner isn't one nationality or one country, but the virtual UN of countries that managed to communicate and to play better together than the other side.

For example, today I played with a group of guys I used to play with when I lived here: On my team were Ziad (Palestinian), Mohammed (Saudi), Tariq (Armenian), Mike (Greek), Carlos (Venezuelan), and Thanos (Greek). Against us were arrayed six or seven guys from other countries, including Russia, Spain, and even a few American citizens (we have to work extra hard to get the ball, since our soccer skills--and our national team--are routinely maligned).

In light of the recently concluded talks in Annapolis, I thought, "wouldn't it be great if instead of gathering around a table to discuss the agonizingly minute details of international relations and the Middle East's history of bloodshed, violence and hopelessness, the delegates could just find a field, throw out a soccer ball, and play a game? No referee, everything on the honor system.

They'd split the teams evenly (easier because no one would know who's good and who stinks), making sure the people from countries that purportedly hate each other are on the same team. They'd play the game, work together, sweat together, laugh, curse and yell at each other (and of course make fun of the guys on the other team); argue about the score and complain about their wives and/or kids...

At the end of the game, I'm sure they'd know each other better, feel more comfortable with each other, and be sufficiently motivated to continue working together towards a genuine agreement that works for everyone.

A pipe dream, maybe. But this morning it happened on a smaller scale, and it was fun.

What's It Like in Afghanistan? Read Here To Find Out...

2007-11-30T15:33:00.000-05:00

Last June at a Red Sox game I sat next to a guy in the Canadian Armed Forces; Clay Cochrane was set to be deployed to Afghanistan and drove down to Fenway to treat himself to a Sox game before his departure.

He's been in Afghanistan now for five months and periodically sends "SITREPS" (Situation Reports) about his deployment. Lest you think it's just Americans defending peace around the world, here's his latest update...

I should start by saying that when I last signed off I believe that I said I will talk to you in a month; that was way back in September. Man I don't even remember September. I don't really remember October to tell you the truth.

But I heard that there is 5cm on its way to Ottawa today and that makes me very happy. Not because I am glad you guys are cold, but because when I left Quebec City it was mid summer, hot and humid. And that means that not only have weeks and months gone by, but entire seasons. There are now less than 25 shopping days till Christmas. I plan to write you once more before then. Famous last words.

Sometimes at my home unit back in Victoria I would look at the pace of activity (dive courses, training, exercises, live EOD missions, Assistance to Sea Training, PERs, budget and infrastructure meetings, Force Protection briefings for the ships, the Timmy's Telethon Paddle to Port Angeles, ect, and I used to say as the OPSO back then, man are we ever busy. And we were busy for sure.

We were then and are today very busy in all the units within the Canadian Forces, no question. In fact the units back home, a lot of them you can easily forget, they are dealing with an increased workload due to the 3,000 soldiers here in Afghanistan. Some/most of those units and Headquarters are directly supporting those soldiers in the war today and we often forget that. Busy, yep, I remember busy.

But this stuff over here isn't busy. I don't know the word for it, but it's not busy. It's like running a 400m race. I used to hate the 400m because it’s a sprint and I could never sprint all the way around the track, it just hurt too much. I usually puked after the race and came in dead last with guys not even out of breath looking down at me wondering what the hell I was doing on the ground.

This type of “busy” is well… It's more like a feeling. It's sort of like when you do finally get to sleep over here you can't wake up or don't want to, or it physically hurts to force yourself onto your feet sometimes. Then you shower and shave and say to yourself in the mirror, “Man, you skipped PT again today, not good dude.” When I do that if nobody is around in the latrine, I usually try to do my best Arnold Schwarzennegger voice and say: “Look at yourself Clayton, you look like such a little girly man. Get a grip!” Yes, wars also tend to make people with weak minds talk to themselves.

Busy, yeah that’s a word for it. It's a feeling of, “holy crap, I am up to 16 pending reports which take one hour each to finish and I have 3 more coming in today, that makes almost 20”. Then there is a phone call and you are off sorting out a sometimes very serious emergency situation where somebody's life may actually be in danger or worse. Then you make several other urgent calls to get helicopters and other types of help and then you find out that a whole two hours went by and your uniform is all sticky and uncomfortable and you realize that you've been sweating quite a bit in a perfectly well air conditioned space and its starting to dry and you feel really gross. Then you find out you just missed the General's O Group, but that's OK, because you had a good reason, you could always say: "I was busy."

So I am saying the reason I haven't written in a couple of months is just that, I have been what shall I call it? I'm thinking of Bill Murray in Caddyshack: "I was unavoidably detained."

Yes that's what it's been like these past few months, a kind of pace which just never lets up, at least not until your HLTA (military vernacular for a free vacation paid by Her Majesty). That is another reason you didn't here from me in October, I got two weeks of pure joy back in Victoria and it was easily the highlight of 2007 for me. And that's saying a lot, because 2007 was a good year, a very good year in fact.

I want to first tell a quick story about HLTA. In my "normal office job" back in Victoria I do a fair bit of travel. I don't know how many times I have been picked up by the family at the Victoria Airport or how many times I have been dropped off, but its a pretty big number over the years. When I get picked up, I always see three very happy little boys, Duncan now 11, Holden 8 and Carter 5 and I get very different types of hugs and kisses on every re-acquaintance.

Usually it's: "Hi Dad, missed you, what's in that bag? Is that a present for me?" or "Hi Daddy, we saw your plane land, where were you sitting, don't kiss me there are people looking." The usual. Not when I came home from HLTA in October.

Something had changed. When I came home all three of them ran at me, full sprint across the airport Arrivals area, and Duncan who is now a full up "Too Cool Pre-Teen" jumped up into my arms and wrapped his legs around my back and it felt like he would never let go. I had to let go of the hug first. Same thing with the other boys. Seeing that kind of reaction in a self-conscious eleven year old is something special. That was an experience I will never forget.

The remainder of my blessed two weeks of leave went uphill from there. It actually was so good, I noticed that one Sunday night we were out of milk at around 9:50 pm. I thought, excellent, we are out of milk. That's great! No problem, I'll just grab my keys and wallet and jump in the car and go to the store and buy some fresh milk. Beautiful, fresh cold delicious 2% milk.

Yes 2% white milk, not yellow dry powdered water, which smells like old eggs. Before I would have looked at the TV and my Sunday Night Football Game with Al Michaels and John Madden and with considerable resentment in my heart I would have gone out to get the damn milk. The other night I stood in the market and marveled at how glorious it is that we have a place to get fresh milk in the middle of the night.

It's funny when you live in a place like this, a couple of things happen, you really miss the things you hold dear for sure, but oddly enough you adjust to the “new normal” and that is even more bizarre. It's like a rocket attack for example. First couple of weeks here, I am diving off my cot and I’m on the dusty dirty ground (in my gitch) and lying there with my flak vest over my back and trying to find my helmet in the dark. (Sorry about that visual I must have just given most of you there). Take aspirin for headaches.

But a couple of nights ago, same thing…….WIZZZZZZZ ……..BOOOOOM! No joke, I just rolled over and thought, "900 meters North North West". And I don't say that to sound like some cool grizzled vet, because I am not, far from it. They still scare the crap out of me every time but sometimes you just have to get some sleep and tell the Taliban buzz off before you roll over and go back to your interrupted dream about Mary Jane Rosencrantz from High School.

By the way, I should qualify my last terminology. The soldiers use that term a lot over here: “Buzz off!” It can be down right Walt Disney like here at times.

So I promised myself I would write my next SITREP with some humor and hopefully I have a bit already, but I just have to take a moment right now to remember the three soldiers who we lost on this mission since I last wrote you. Without their sacrifice and the thousands before them, in Canada’s other conflicts, we wouldn’t be as free as we are today.

Corporal Nathan Hornburg.....Zhari District…...The Last Post....September 24th 2007

Corporal Nicolas Beauchamp...Panjwai District..The Last Post....November 16th 2007

Private Michel Levesque...Panjwai District…The Last Post…November 16th 2007

Three of the bravest young men you would have the honor to meet or know. And so too are the injured who I did not mention, may they all recover and live full and happy lives surrounded by those who love them. And may our latest three fallen brothers in arms rest peacefully and may their families look to their lives with only the warmest memories of these brave Canadian patriots.

I was thinking because someone in Victoria asked me recently to describe: "What's it like for you every day over there? Describe your normal day." Well that all depends really on where I am.

You see for me, unlike a lot of the others, I have two Aghanistans. Yeah, really, I see two totally different views of this war. One is safe and fairly comfortable but smells of feces constantly, well relatively comfortable and I can't stand this more safe locale, which probably sounds crazy. That’s the War in Afghanistan on Air Base (KAF), an air base that is miles away from most of the fighting.

It's an air base with 20,000 people and not one child. Women and men everywhere, but no kids. It’s like in that old Dick Van Dyke Disney movie, he’s in a city with no children. Sorry a city with no children, which smells like the Paris Subway System. We do get rocket attacks but the base is surprisingly full of civilian contractors, like Tim Horton’s staff for example. And I never go there by the way, which is even crazier. I just have no time, the line up is a minimum of 25 minutes. Brutal.

The other Afghanistan is dark and can be frightening at times. It’s “Outside the Wire” it's out on the FOBs (Forward Operating Bases) or out in open country with the enemy. It’s a part of Afghanistan full of nothing but soldiers, mostly men, hard, brave men who have seen hard fighting and plenty of it.

There are some women but only a small handful and trust me they are just as tough and just as capable as any of the fellas I assure you. It is a place full of shocking black humor and language, which would make a Navy Mess Deck sound like a Christian Baptist Bible Study Hall. I actually learned out there not that long ago that you can use the “F” word as a verb, a noun, and an adjective and as a coordinate conjunction all in the same sentence. Incredible. And I’m in the Navy for crying out loud!

And it is a sad place too sometimes and has moments which seem totally insane and completely like nothing I would ever want anyone I love to come within 10,000 miles of ever even seeing or experiencing first hand.

Yet when you are “outside the wire” it has one thing which safe, smelly KAF doesn’t. It has kids. Young local boys mostly who will come into the FOBs and earn some money with their dad’s or uncles as they help us clean kitchens and keep things tidy. They are nice kids and they look at me and the other soldiers with such wonder whenever we speak to them. They are fascinated, many of them with the idea that we too have families and that we left our kids to come here so they could have a chance like my boys do back in Canada.

When I show them pictures of my kids they get it, you can see it in their eyes. It fascinates them and the adults as well to see pictures of my kids, sad little Canadian boys saying goodbye to their dad in Valcartier, Que, the day I left to come here. They get it; they see the look in my eyes and the eyes of my own boys through the magic of a digital camera. They see the sacrifice that others, not just the soldiers have made to help set them free from evil and oppression.

And so that is Afghanistan out on the FOBs, very different from the main Air Base. And I actually wish I was there right now. Is that crazy? And I don’t want to be there tonight because I’m some cowboy or have some bizarre wish to be shot or seek some type of sick glory. Not at all. In fact I can tell you first hand that getting shot at is only one thing: Bad. But I want to be there tonight only because my men are there and I am their Commander in the field.

I am responsible for each and every one of them. And that’s why I want to be with them when they go out on Operations tomorrow. I want to be there demonstrating without saying out loud, that I will not ask you to do something I would not be willing to do myself. And it's not hero crap either, it's how I really feel. I love those boys and I’d do anything for them.

Anyway, I’ll be heading out soon enough, there is no rush and I have a job to do here as well and its important that is gets done right. I have to always remember that, we are a team. And just like a hockey team, somebody has to stand behind the bench and call the plays and rotate the lines. That my role, I’m the coach in many ways. And it’s the job of the coach to take care of the players and help them win and that’s what I do here. But still I miss my troops.

I am the General's Explosive Ordnance Disposal Officer (EOD). If that sounds like I am bragging, trust me I'm not; I have to report through about half a dozen other Army Officers before the General even hears boo out of me. And because of the operational nature and sensitivity of what I do I am afraid I can’t give out a lot of details. Instead I will have to use a lot of analogies to describe my work.

But when my phone rings in the middle of the night and I grab my shoulder holster and run out of my tent to the Canadian Headquarters it can be pretty tough sometimes. Sometimes, not very often but sometimes, late at night that phone rings and at the other end in broken French-Canadian English is a young private: “Sir, is this Lieutenant Cokrain? Sir, they need you in the POC, there’s been an IED.” I walk in there sometimes at 2 in the morning and its all quiet but it seems like everybody and his uncle wants me to fix what's just happened and I can't. I often find it funny that those other 4 or 5 officers I have to report to before I go to “The Boss” are nowhere to be found.

Truth be told, it's not their fault, it's my job actually to start to call a lot of them and give them the information they need to make some pretty hard calls. But I tell you, when you are standing there and it feels like the whole world is on fire, it’s the most lonely and powerless feeling you can possibly imagine. You can make the calls you have to make, you can wake people up, move men and equipment to help but at the end of the day you feel like you have failed somehow. It's so bad sometimes, I can’t even really talk about it. I think maybe that’s why I write these SITREPS. I think it helps me somehow. I don’t know. I have to tell somebody about it. It’s hard.

I hate it when my phone rings, especially at night, because it means that something really bad has just happened. There are no exceptions; it’s always bad when that little piece of plastic and circuit boards and wires starts to ring at night. If I let it get to me and sometimes it does, I will tell myself a nasty story, which isn’t true. I will tell myself about how it also means that somewhere, somehow, I didn’t do my job well enough that day. I will tell myself that I have failed.

I am in an organization, (called a Squadron) over here, which is responsible for defending the entire force in our area from IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices). It’s the primary weapon the enemy use against our troops. I am Second in Command of the Squadron (which in the navy we would call that guy the XO). But trust me the term XO used in an army setting like this wore out its welcome about 1.5 seconds after I first offered it up as a possible nametag for me. So I try to give my boss and his boss and even “The Big Boss” the best possible advice and council I can muster each and every day. Sometimes I think its really working and some days not so good. It’s hard to always get it “right” every day. But luckily the good days way outstrip the bad ones.

In Afghanistan, my Explosive Disposal guys and my Investigators (it's usually my guys and not me anyway) jump out of helicopters or armored vehicles and do the exact same thing, minus the police tape. But unlike TV, its not beautiful Miami Beach Florida and everyone in the scene isn’t perfect looking like they belong in GQ Magazine. We are sometimes getting shot at by a bunch of terrorist clowns, usually with AK-47s, mortars, or rocket propelled grenades (RPGs). Sometimes it’s a combination of all of the above. And usually these terrorist idiots aren’t exactly too thrilled that we showed up in the first place. But once things settle down we go about our work.

Guys: They Are Successful Business People Who Happen to Be Women (and no, they don't want to sleep with you)

2007-11-29T14:51:00.001-05:00

In a previous blog entry, I discussed the issue of a female coaching football. The ire raised by this matter spurred me to investigate further the true extent to which women have penetrated the glass ceiling and become accepted as valuable co-workers.

In light of the event described below, I’m not encouraged. I understand, however (since I did attend Vassar College, after all), that being a white male immediately excludes me from speaking authoritatively on this matter, so I went to the source. Several sources, in fact.

I have numerous female friends who own businesses and a few female clients, so I discussed this matter with them. When I asked them whether or not they felt accepted as female sole proprietors or business owners, they regaled me with alarming (and amusing) stories of innuendo, subtle sexual harassment and overt “sleep with me” propositions from male co-workers and clients.

They quickly added that many of these incidents were exceptions, so it’s not like we’re still in the Stone Age—although the incident described below may cause you to think otherwise…

One of my female business owner friends recently received a positive review in a local publication about a new initiative she’s spearheading. The article, which specifically mentioned her age and a personal feature (of her appearance), also included a photo of her. Since she’s a savvy marketer, she got a pdf of the article and sent it to her friends, colleagues and clients.

While my friend was displeased with the column's mention of her personal feature, she let it go because she has a personal relationship with the columnist. She knows he meant it affectionately, and she's grateful to have that personal connection.

Beyond the fact that her age and her appearance have little to do with her initiative, here’s where the story gets interesting: One of her male colleagues (who also happens to be a client) replied to her email with a completely inappropriate, sexually suggestive remark. Without getting into specifics, it alluded to her photo.

My friend is now legitimately concerned with the influence the piece will have on the broader audience whom she does not know and with whom she may in the future seek to do business. She wonders, will these potential clients recall her age and the reference to her personal feature and view these things as "aww, isn't she cute" (and thus a reason not to take her seriously)?

As a young female entrepreneur she already confronts a substantial challenge being taken seriously. The column, while well intentioned, heightens that challenge. Being labeled as anything other than a business expert has deleterious consequences for her and her business; the reference to her age and a personal feature have absolutely nothing to do with her business acumen or her nascent initiative.

Here’s why the reference to her personal feature bothers me:
One, such terms would NEVER be used in that way to describe a male; they are quite simply condescending and dismissive.
Two, continuing to use such words captures the inward-looking perspective and inbred attitude some males still have regarding females in the workplace and as entrepreneurs.
Three, the reference is a diminutive that has no place in a serious piece about an important, substantive issue.

The lewd remark is infinitely more concerning, because it reveals a tacit undercurrent of chauvinism, sexism and discrimination—-all of which have no place in a mutually respectful business environment. In an office, sending such an email represents creating a hostile work environment and is grounds for dismissal.

My friend feels disrespected as a female and as a business person. In the freelance world, because she doesn’t want to alienate this client and lose his business and his connections, my friend is understandably uncomfortable sharing with him her true feelings on this issue. Yet she is similarly uncomfortable with the steady stream of similar remarks coming from this clueless client.

Faced with this quandary, I turned to the one woman who has throughout my life answered such questions and generally provided good advice regarding how women should be treated, both in and out of the workplace: My mom.

She shared with me the following story: Sally Quinn, before she married Ben Bradlee (Editor-in-chief of The Washington Post), while interviewing a well-known senator, felt his hand on her backside. Did she remove the hand? “Hell, no,” she said, “if the guy is giving me a good story he could leave his hand just where it was.”

This time, mom is wrong (hope she’s not reading this entry, or I’m in trouble!).

When a woman (or anyone, for that matter) feels marginalized, discriminated against, taken advantage of or made to feel uncomfortable based on her sex, color, religion or sexual preference, it creates a hostile work environment for everyone. That’s not conducive for productivity, team orientation, and morale.

The fact that this still happens on a seemingly regular basis is not encouraging.

Fly the Lead-y Skies: Textron to Make Cessna Plane in China

2007-11-28T20:55:00.001-05:00

In light of the slew of reports of tainted, defective and downright deadly products coming from China, it frightens me to read in today's Wall Street Journal that Textron Inc.'s Cessna Aircraft Company will become the first U.S. manufacturer to turn over complete production of an airplane to a Chinese partner.

Earlier this month (November 8), you read a list of "Made in China" product recalls: From sunglasses to lawn mowers to power adapters, it appears that manufacturing in China is sufficiently suspect to cause me to doubt China's suitability to build highly sophisticated machinery like, oh, AIRPLANES...

"If you are going to field a low-end product, this is about the only way you can do it," commented Cessna President Jack Pelton, referring to the agreement under which China's state-owned Shenyang Aircraft Corporation will build the new Cessna 162 SkyCatcher.

This plan disturbs me on many levels:

1) When it comes to manufacturing, quality control and production of highly sophisticated machinery (like, oh, airplanes), China's track record is simply not encouraging. Answer this question: Would you feel confident flying--much less breathing--in a plane that was "Made In China"?

2) Textron makes vehicles for the U.S. Military; while I know the company has divisions that are run as entirely separate companies, China has a rich history of subtly and gradually penetrating American organizations and gaining access to sensitive information. Whereas we think in terms of hundreds of years, China thinks of thousands of years. I'm not saying China will gain access to sensitive information; I'm merely suggesting that they have done so in the past--and not just with American organizations and companies.

3) From a PR perspective, this is a pretty sizable faux pas. If I were working for Textron (and believe me, I have tried to), I would in the very least have coached Mr. Pelton to address the concerns Americans have regarding China's unreliable manufacturing and quality control record.

I especially don't like his aforementioned quotation. "Low-end products" suggest shoddy workmanship, mass production, and poor quality control. I certainly would not refer to my company's products as "low-end."

But I don't think this is a PR issue. I think it's a safety issue. At this point in time, given China's manufacturing and production track record, I believe Americans would be concerned if they knew that the plane in which they were flying was made in China.

It's a Charlie Brown Christmas: The Anchors of Our Youth

2007-11-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Every year around Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, the networks trot out the usual Charlie Brown specials: It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, It's a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, It's a Charlie Brown Christmas. Why do these simple cartoons tug at our heartstrings?

For many of us Gen X'ers, Lucy, Charlie Brown, Pigpen, Woodstock, Peppermint Patty, Linus and his ubiquitous blanket are the anchors of our youth. They bring us back to nights with three channels on the TV (unless a lucky neighbor had cable), no Internet, playing in the cul-de-sac until mom called us in for dinner...

Not exactly the 1950s, but a less complicated time without cell phones, Wii, Playstation, iPods, iPhones, and all the modern accoutrement that allegedly make our lives so much more convenient.

Life is captured in these timeless cartoons: Charlie Brown's angst, Patty's bossiness, Shroeder's piano talent, Pigpen's dirt and dust, Sally's pining, Snoopy's carefree dancing, and a whole cast of characters that remind us of our grade-school classmates, curfews, and holidays that were more about family and less about "getting stuff."

So as I sit and watch these pre-historic cartoons, I hearken back to a time when my life was just a little simpler and I'm glad the networks still air these timeless specials.

Women Coaching Football: What Do You Think?

2007-11-24T12:48:00.000-05:00

The November 16th issue of The Wall Street Journal featured an article about a woman football coach at a small school in Texas. Entitled "Breaking the Grass Ceiling," the article described how Susan Myers, formerly a successful investment banker, grew so interested in football that she ultimately became the Wide Receivers Coach for this small school.

Coach Myers preaches and teaches "old school" football, emphasizing fundamentals such as blocking and tackling; she eschews flashy plays in favor of doing the little things that contribute to on field success.

As a fan of fundamentals--be they for any sport (football, soccer, rugby, swimming, tennis, etc.)--I really enjoyed reading about Coach Myers' philosophy. As a graduate of a former all-female college (Vassar) and a veteran U.S. Army officer, I have seen women succeed (and in fact excel) in all aspects of life.

I'm encouraged by the narrowing gap between men's and women's salaries, and while I disagree with women in purely combat roles (for my own selfish reasons), I know from experience they are integral parts of the modern combat team.

Reading the article, it didn't strike me as unusual that a woman would be or could be a football coach. I focused more on her intensity and coaching style rather than the fact that she is female. I was particularly amused when I discovered later in the article that to get her job she had to conceal her gender. With girls playing on football teams, why shouldn't females coach football teams?

The article generated a visceral response in the Journal's always entertaining letters to the editor section. A gentleman from Spokane, Washington wrote, in part: "A woman in a position of leadership in football would be akin to me advising women on childbirth. I cannot imagine anything more ridiculous. I would find another school in Texas for my son."

I guess they don't have male gynecologists in Washington?! I guess they don't have male obstetricians in Washington? You don't need to have the equipment to know to operate it.

This kind of attitude underscores the fact that we have a long way to go before women achieve genuine equality... But with Coach Myers spewing fire and motivation from the sidelines, scripting plays that shrewdly exploit defensive weaknesses, her players certainly are believers.

And that's a step in the right direction.

Thanksgiving: What It Means To Me

2007-11-21T21:52:00.000-05:00

Each year on Thanksgiving, we gather with family and friends to thank God for the many blessings He has given us, and we ask God to continue to guide and watch over our country.

Almost 400 years ago, after barely surviving their first winter at Plymouth (sustaining a casualty rate of almost 40%), the Pilgrims celebrated a harvest feast to give thanks.

In 1789, George Washington proclaimed the first National Day of Thanksgiving and during the Civil War Abraham Lincoln revived the tradition. Since that time, our citizens have paused to express thanks for the bounty of blessings we enjoy and to spend time with family and friends.

In want or in plenty, in times of challenge or times of calm, we always have reasons to be thankful. Despite the challenges, despite the doubters, despite the nearly ceaseless stream of bleak tidings, let us not forget that America is a land of abundance, prosperity, and hope.

We must never take for granted the things that make our country great: A firm foundation of freedom, justice, and equality; a belief in democracy and the rule of law; and our fundamental rights to gather, speak, and worship freely.

Let us take a moment to thank those who have paid the ultimate price to secure and retain these liberties, for they do not come without cost. Throughout our nation's history, many have sacrificed to preserve our freedoms and to defend peace around the world.

Today, the brave men and women of our military, law enforcement and private services continue this noble tradition. These heroes and their loved ones have our gratitude. I am honored to have served as a veteran and to continue to work with law enforcement officers throughout the country.

Tomorrow, we should remember also those less fortunate among us. They are our neighbors and our fellow citizens, and we should commit ourselves to reaching out to them and to all of those in need in our communities.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for all of our blessings and for the freedoms we enjoy every day. Our Founders thanked God (as they believed Him to be) and humbly sought His wisdom and blessing. May we always live by that same trust, and I pray that God will continue to watch over and bless the United States of America.

Happy Thanksgiving.

One Small Step for My Health, One Giant Leap Backward for Health Care

2007-11-20T16:33:00.000-05:00

I went to see my doctor today for a routine check up and to "renew" some of my meds. While I generally eschew going to the doctor, I like my current primary care provider because he actually spends quality time with me: He asks me how I feel physically, emotionally, spiritually, and physiologically, understanding that all of these attributes work together to form the basis of the health of his patients.

For me, his holistic approach is the right combination of "traditional" medicine and alternatives to medicine.

As it turns out, one of the meds I take for high cholesterol (despite my fanatic exercise regimen and scrupulous eating habits, my cholesterol was high, so a few years ago I went on Lipitor). Lipitor has worked very well for me, lowering my cholesterol to 164. That's one small step for my health.

Here's where we start going backwards, though. Lipitor is an expensive drug--one for which the insurance companies are loath to pay, especially when more affordable alternative "statins" are available.

Accordingly, Fallon, my health insurance provider, mandates my doctor switch me from Lipitor to a new drug called Zocor. I have no choice. Zocor is significantly cheaper than Lipitor (no surprise there), so--realizing that I may very well spend the rest of my life ingesting this drug--Fallon wisely wants to spend less over the long term to support my statin drug habit.

And yet... Two weeks after starting my Zocor (Simvastatin) pills, I will have to get my liver tested to determine whether or not the new drug is harming that vital organ (a possible side affect). Four to six weeks after being on Zocor, my blood will have to be tested to determine whether or not the new drug is continuing to keep my cholesterol within acceptable levels.

If in the course of taking Zocor I experience any unexplained muscle pain, tenderness or weakness at any time (some patients may have muscle pain or weakness while taking
Zocor. Rarely, this can include muscle breakdown resulting in kidney damage), I have to notify my doctor who will then have the excuse he needs to put me back on Lipitor.

Who pays for all the tests? Fallon.

At first glance, it doesn't make sense to invest all this money testing the effectiveness of the new drug when it appears more affordable to simply keep me on Lipitor and avoid all the expenses of switching me to a drug that may or may not work.

But health care is a business, and the companies in this field are in business to make money. Over the long haul, I understand it's cheaper for Fallon to put me on Zocor rather than keep me on Lipitor.

Problem is, the only way I'll know Zocor isn't working is when my cholesterol increases to unacceptable levels, making me a potential heart attack victim; or if my muscles start failing, which--given how much strain I put on my muscles--could result in more substantial damage. And then Fallon will have to pay more.

So I'm a spectator while Fallon gambles with my health.

Reminder: The Object of Football is to Crush the Opposition

2007-11-19T18:54:00.000-05:00

In the wake of the Patriots' latest overwhelming victory, a 56-10 massacre of the Buffalo Bills, sports columnists, enthusiasts, talk-show hosts, and even mainstream media reporters are labeling the Pats and their coach, Bill Belichick, unsportsmanlike.

John Clayton, Senior Writer for ESPN, writes: "Face it, folks, Belichick plans to lay waste to the NFL. Commissioner Roger Goodell took away a first-rounder, so the Patriots will take away your firstborn. Belichick has assembled perhaps the most dominating team in NFL history, and he's intent on destroying all opponents in his path.

"Sunday night's game showed how Belichick plans to handle the rest of the season. Anyone thinking he will rest Brady in the final month before the playoffs is wrong. He will allow his future Hall of Fame quarterback to shatter every record imaginable."

I find nothing wrong with Belichick's "scorched earth" policy.

Football is often equated to war. While I disagree with the comparison--and I cringe when players liberally borrow words like "battle", "hero", and "epic struggle" to describe the game--football is a winner-take-all struggle between two teams, played under a defined set of rules that apply to each team.

(I'm going to set aside for a moment the fact that Belichick stole signals from the Jets, even though it did not affect the outcome of the game at all... And in fact, mark December 16 on your calendar, because the Jets are going to pay for angering Belichick).

Folks, make no mistake: The object of football is to crush the opposition. You crush them physically, you crush them mentally, you crush them spiritually. From the moment the game starts, your goal is to take away any semblance of belief that your opponent can beat you. You beat them in every conceivable way. And when you've done so, you don't apologize. You don't ask for forgiveness. You don't explain.

On a path to supplanting the 1972 Miami Dolphins as "the best team ever", the Patriots are laying waste to the NFL. They are making a mockery of parity. The way they are crushing their opponents (including my beloved Redskins) is mesmerizing in its devastation. You want to look away but you can't.

I hope the Patriots go 19-0. I hope commentators continue to use military terms to describe their exploits. Because football is like war.

(Aside: As a matter of foreign policy, our nation would be wise to remember that.)

Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood?

2007-11-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

As a child, I recall listening to Mr. Rogers sing, "Who are the people in your neighborhood, the people that you meet each day?" (forgive me for forgetting the song verbatim and for paraphrasing it).

That song is particularly relevant these days, as the growth of online communities and the constant relocation of people redefines the concept of neighborhoods.

With online communities, the people in your neighborhood could be scattered throughout the world, giving most people a stronger virtual neighborhood than the actual physical neighborhood in which they live.

That's why when they interview people who live right next door to a troubled family, a serial killer, or some other notorious character, the interviewee generally says something like: "He was very quiet..." "They pretty much kept to themselves..." "We didn't often see them..." Or similar statements indicating that they really didn't know the people in their neighborhood.

The same thing applies within our professional lives. Speaking for my extroverted self, I want to know the people in my professional neighborhood: I want to discover what motivates them, what frustrates them, their strengths, their weaknesses, their expectations, and--as the relationship permits--details of their personal lives.

I believe this information forms a comprehensive picture of the people in my neighborhood, so from that perspective, I guess my motives are selfish. But back in the day, when we didn't have online communities and we knew--I mean, really knew--our neighbors--the type of people they were mattered far more than what they did, or with whom they could connect us.

If we got along with our neighbors, we relied on them and they relied on us. In times of need, we helped each other. In times of plenty we shared--not everything, but just enough to cement those ties.

As for me, I'm getting to know the people in my neighborhood: Those with whom I am linked by bits and bytes, those with whom I share physical space, and those with whom I am connected professionally. I want them to know that they're important to me in the way that Mr. Rogers sang about.

People Often Ask Me What I Think About When I Run...

2007-11-17T10:55:00.000-05:00

Having completed 16 marathons, innumerable shorter races and thousands of miles of training throughout the world, I have enjoyed a lot of time in my running shoes. While I prefer to run with a buddy, often I go out alone, accompanied only by my thoughts. I run unadorned, that is, without a iPod or any other distraction device.

I run to get away from the distractions and minimize the noise in my life. On the road, things are simpler and clearer. When it's cold, my thoughts are crisp; when it's hot, my thoughts tend to wander.

People often ask me what I think about when I run. Truth be told, I don't really remember. But this morning was chilly and my thoughts focused on why I run.

Here's why.

When I was very young, I ran to win races. I thought that if I were talented and lucky and put my heart's blood into it, I could claim whatever little molecule of immortality might have my name on it. Now I run to trace the footprints I left in previous seasons, and to remember snapshots from the miles I've plodded. It connects me to all the things I used to believe.

Nice Work If You Can Get It.... You Can Get It If You Try!

2007-11-16T20:19:00.000-05:00

I have become a professional interviewee.

I had heard of these people when I was working full time, but now that I am a freelance marketing communications consultant and simultaneously seeking full time employment, I have been sufficiently fortunate to participate in many interviews. I believe I've become very proficient in the spoken and unspoken rules of successful interviewing. I just haven't yet gotten an offer, but I'm confident and eternally optimistic.

Below I share some of the rules I've picked up during this process.

The title of this blog alludes to the entire job hunting process, including tailoring your resume to a specific position, conducting due diligence on the organization (far more than mere internet research, this means tapping your network for "insider" intel about your target company), formally submitting your resume (with a customized, brief and error-proof cover letter), and then tapping your network again to get essential personal references.

Having done all that, you still may not get called for an in-person interview. You'll first have to make it through the phone screening, which is usually with an HR person who may not understand how the experiences listed on your resume connect with the requirements of the job.

I always assume I'll get a phone screen. To prepare for this first hurdle, I plot a one-page "match the columns" table. This table connects specific experience indicated on my resume with the stated job requirements. When I speak with the HR official, I go through that table item by item. I stand up during the phone screening because my voice projects better when I'm standing. I convey my points energetically but not overwhelmingly.

I ask a few standard questions only the HR person can answer at this point (asking questions they cannot answer puts them in a defensive position). These include questions like how many people are you scheduling for in-person interviews, what is your hiring time line, and I close by asking with whom I will be interviewing. I suggest a specific day and time for an in-person interview.

A strong close is essential: I know that the HR professional with whom I'm speaking has a lot to do and I truly want to make his or her job easy... I do so using a strong, affirmative close.

Once I've passed the phone screen and scheduled an in-person interview, my real work begins: I return to the Internet and conduct more in-depth research regarding the company. I call Better Business Bureaus, Chambers of Commerce, and any organization with whom the company or organization is affiliated. I mine my network (both physical and online, such as LinkedIn) and find out if any one in it knows any employees at my target organization. The best situation is when someone in my network knows the person (or people) with whom I'm scheduled to interview and will vouch for my suitability for the position.

I also find out who serves on the Board of Directors and reach out to them with a quick phone call or email to introduce myself and ask a question or two about what they feel are the organization's specific marketing and/or communications needs.

I do this not to be pushy or overly aggressive, but rather because I understand that I am interviewing my target organization as much as my target organization is interviewing me. It's essential to gather as much G-2 (Intelligence) as possible about my target organization.

When my interview comes, I draw upon the intel I've acquired to involve myself in a discussion about how my specific skills and qualifications match the organization's stated and unstated job requirements. Often that which is unstated is far more significant than what is stated; I want to make it clear to the person with whom I am speaking that they understand I have done my homework and I "get" the needs of the organization.

As a result, I convey to them the certainty that I am thorough, diligent, attentive and engaged; I try to make them feel comfortable with my skills and qualifications.

Since much of effective communications is nonverbal, an important part of my efforts to make them feel comfortable is to reflect their body language: If the person with whom I am conversing leans forward, I lean forward. If they fold their hands on the table, I do so as well. If they cup their chin with their hand, I cup my chin with my hand. This breaks down barriers and establishes a comfort level for both of us.

Looking back on the first line in this blog entry, none of this is groundbreaking knowledge. It really reflects common sense: Actions I take to separate myself from equally suitable candidates.

Of course, there's one factor I haven't mentioned, and that's luck. You need a lot of it to get an actual offer. As much as possible, I try to make my own luck. I believe the steps mentioned above help me create my own luck.

A Productive Day for this Public Relations Pro!

2007-11-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

Professionally, today was a good day. Here's a recap, including some related thoughts on the flexibility, expertise and contacts a savvy public relations professional (in my opinion) needs to be successful.

This morning I attended a meeting I'd set up for a client with the editor of the local newspaper, The Auburn News. I returned home to check my email and was interrupted by the urgent trilling of my cell phone: It was another client, alerting me to an immediate opportunity to place him on national news. Later that afternoon, another client dropped by my office to discuss the work he required to support the launch of his new promotional brochure.

First, to the meeting with the editor of The Auburn News. My client picked me up and we drove about a half hour to our meeting. Getting a client in a confined space is truly valuable face time. In the enclosed space, sans prying eyes and ears, the client generally opens up to a degree you just don't get in a typical office or meeting venue. You also can talk about personal stuff, which in terms of strengthening a relationship is just as important as the business stuff.

Despite the fact that email is so prevalent and convenient, I believe there is no substitute for face to face meetings. This is especially vital when trying to build and strengthen relationships with local editors and reporters. My client runs a monthly column in The Auburn News; the owner of that paper also operates five other local papers in geographic areas my client is trying to penetrate.

During our fifteen minute discussion, we covered all of our objectives: Thank the editor for continuing to run the monthly column; position my client as an "expert source" for matters beyond (but related to) her area of expertise; and get contact information for the editors of the local papers in our target areas. We also had a collegial discussion about the role of community papers and saw photos of his recent wedding. In the PR world, productivity comes from personal, meaningful and mutually beneficial relationships.

Shortly after my client returned me to my office, my cell rang. Another client--this one owns and operates a business that trains corrections emergency response teams--breathlessly told me to turn on Fox News.

Fox was broadcasting live from the Waupun Correctional Facility in Wisconsin, where an inmate had taken a staff member hostage. Normally these types of incidents don't make the national news--corrections administrators prefer to keep things quiet and resolve these incidents quickly--so I realized we had a potential grand slam... if we acted decisively.

My client gave me the details (some of which came directly from his contacts in the facility), a number where I (or news media) could reach him, and I started calling. I called a buddy of mine who works for Fox in the midwest; he referred me to his contact in the news room. I called the news room, gave them a 30-second pitch on who my client was and why he was qualified to speak on the hostage crisis in Wisconsin, and gave the assignment editor my client's URL and direct contact number.

At the same time, I was drafting talking points for my client--he's not yet very media savvy and I needed to craft concise, direct and factual messages for him to use when speaking with reporters.

I also called a few news radio stations in Wisconsin, knowing that they were covering the incident (because I'd checked out their websites before I called). New PR pros, note: ALWAYS do your due diligence, even if it's five or ten minutes. You need to make sure in the very least that you know some rudimentary facts about your target media outlet. Don't sacrifice facts at the altar of alacrity.

Within a half hour I my client was on standby for Fox News national and had completed two interviews with Wisconsin radio stations. As it turns out, his spot on Fox got bumped for coverage of the earthquake in Chile and OJ's hearing (will OJ just please go away?!), but my client is now in their database and on Fox's radar screen. My client called and couldn't stop thanking me for my quick and decisive action.

Still flying from that PR success, I met later in the day with another client--this one in the hospitality industry--to review and finalize content I'd developed for his promotional/informational brochure. It's a stunning piece and the content was not as compelling as he--or I--need it to be.

Setting my ego aside, I worked with him over an hour to tighten the copy, suggest some changes to the design that would complement the new content, and then had a conference call with our designer to make sure he understood the changes. The promotional piece is stunning--one of the most attractive pieces I've worked on thus far in my career--and I can't wait to get copies for my ever-growing portfolio.

All that done, I went to the post office to mail some stuff and to the library to return and withdraw some books. I then returned home to make dinner for the wife, who isn't feeling well today. Now it's almost tomorrow and I look back on this highly productive day, pleased that I was able to serve my clients so productively and effectively.